Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

hands up who had sex with their DPs on 1st/2nd date

86 replies

Anais53 · 20/03/2011 12:44

Just want a bit of reassurance really that sex from the get go isn't necessarily the kiss of death for a relationship.

Last night I had sex on the second date with a guy who seems absolutely lovely but I can't stop thinking that he'll just think I'm an easy lay and that'll be that. He has asked to see me again though :)

I'm no spring chick and should know better I suppose but it felt so right and this morning was lovely.

OP posts:

jimswifein1964 · 20/03/2011 20:03

first date, yes

DiscoDaisy · 20/03/2011 20:06

First date and still together 16 years later with 5 DC

DiscoDaisy · 20/03/2011 20:07

First date and still together 16 years later with 5 DC.

Happylander · 20/03/2011 20:14

I said my DH on the first night I met him after walking up to him and dragging him onto the dancefloor...'do you want to be my 3 month tour shag' I was in Canada with the Army at the time. Now married with a DS and have a mortgage certainly not the kiss of death for us

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 20/03/2011 20:14

On balance - it seems like early shagging is a good idea

Loshad · 20/03/2011 20:16

2nd date - that was back in 1983!! we are still together, happily married, and have 4 fab boys

vicbar · 20/03/2011 20:16

2nd date stayed for 3 nights... fast forward 14 years and 4 kids later.

NewPathways · 20/03/2011 20:30

We had met (friend of a friend) on the Friday of a festival and slept together the next night.

Longest one night stand ever nearly 4 years later!

Original poster

Anais53 · 20/03/2011 20:37

Yes chipping, it does seem like a good idea from all these positive posts! I'm going to take the bull by the horns and ask him round for dinner next week so we can do it again hopefully :)

OP posts:

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 20/03/2011 20:50

I thought you had already taken the bull by his horn its horns!!

Go for it & enjoy yourself!!

happiestblonde · 20/03/2011 21:17

We went on one date, I had to go travelling (pre-booked) came back and we had sex in his office. Two years now, living together 1, going well :)

fragglerocks · 20/03/2011 21:40

1st date and we have been together for 6 years now, married for 4!

BEAUTlFUL · 21/03/2011 11:00

Anais53... Why are you asking him round for dinner? No, wait for him to ask you out on a date! I thought you wanted to see if he still felt the same after the sex? You won't be able to tell that unless you give him a bit of room to decide what his next move will be.

JessicaDrew · 21/03/2011 11:04

did the 2nd date BJ
4th date let him stop over for real thing!
end if 2nd month he moved in
15 years later still can't get rid of him!!!!!!

BEAUTlFUL · 21/03/2011 11:04

And, i think the reason we're told to wait for sex is that we get all keen after nookie and tend to tun a blind eye to a man's faults afterwards. Better to wait and get to know the bloke fully before jumping into bed.

And men tend to prefer to think they're not getting a woman who hops into bed with any Tom, Dick or Harry and the only way he can judge that is by how quickly she sleeps with them. The longer she makes him wait, the choosier/fussier/pickier he thinks she must be, and the more she must like him for who he really is when she does finally shag him.

And men who are waiting for sex tend to pursue faster and stronger than men who aren't having to wait.

MooMooFarm · 21/03/2011 11:10

My hands are up - we were a one night stand that went wrong

iskra · 21/03/2011 11:10

I slept with him without even having a date. Don't think we had dates until we had been sleeping together for about 4 weeks.

MooMooFarm · 21/03/2011 11:11

And PS I don't think it makes a jot's difference if you 'wait' or not. If you click, you click - and if the man's going to 'judge you' for 'putting out' too quickly, he can jog on back to the 1950's

madonnawhore · 21/03/2011 11:12

Second date here.

I asked him once if he thought I 'caved too early' and he said not at all, if you click with someone you click with someone so why hold out?

Apropros of not much besides boasting, I will also add that he is hands down the best sex I have ever had :o

TobyLerone · 21/03/2011 14:22

Yep, I did it. But then again, I think that putting rules on this sort of thing is bollocks.

PlentyOfPrimroses · 21/03/2011 14:24

Me, but we'd known each other for 13 years already so probably doesn't count.

Alouiseg · 21/03/2011 14:37

Yep, first date but we knew each other in a work environment first. He left his fiancé within the month, moved in with me then we were married 9 months later which was a month earlier than the date him and the ex were due to be married!

He's still doing it for me after 15 years of marriage :)

tiptop2 · 21/03/2011 15:42

3rd date but I would have slept with him on 2nd but I purposely hadn't shaved my legs!

I once went out with this guy I really really liked, so much so, I thought I should wait (couple of months), he told me he was falling in love, we slept together and then he promptly dumped me. Ever since then, I have no qualms about sleeping with people early on. If a guy is going to be disrespectful it doesn't matter when you do it imo.

TWDA · 21/03/2011 17:06

The day we met. Now on year 8, married w DC.

Original poster

Anais53 · 21/03/2011 17:13

Beautiful, he asked to see me again when he left on Sunday morning and to let him know when I was free. So I've suggested a date and he seems pleased. As for what you say about getting to know a man fully before you sleep with him, that could either take years, or in my experience, never. As in I never really knew my ex-H even though we were together for years! Why would a man think a woman is a slapper because she has sex with him early on? Such a woman doesn't sleep with just anyone necessarily and can be extremely discriminating.

Totally agree with tiptop, whose experience makes me shudder because it happened to me too. Held out for quite a while, shagged him, he disappeared into the wide blue yonder. After reading all these comments I don't think I'll ever beat myself up again about doing it early and will just accept that's who I am. If I click with a guy and the opportunity arises I'll go for it. I made it clear with this one (and also when I've done it before), that I'm not into one-night stands. If they choose to sleep with me after that knowing that they're going to do a disappearing act, then they're just not nice and I'm better off without them.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4