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Relationships

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Original poster

Short lived intense relationships....

12 replies

ginnyjeans · 03/03/2011 09:54

Do you think that relationships that are intense from the word go always fizzle out quickly?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 03/03/2011 10:05

Nope. :)

Mine was intense from the beginning and we have been married since 2002.

ginnny · 03/03/2011 10:12

Not always.
I've been with my man for 6 months and from the very first date it has been quite intense. He says he just 'knew' as soon as he met me that there was something there and I felt the same.
Although sometimes it can be a bit creepy if one of you doesn't feel the same.

Mymblesson · 03/03/2011 11:33

No. Ours was immediate and intense at the start and has lasted over 15 years so far.

MooMooFarm · 03/03/2011 13:34

My gut feeling is that it may be more likely to fizzle out. But only because I would say if you jump too quickly into a relationship you may have the blinkers on to any potential problems.

Why do you ask (I'm just nosey!)

BertieBotts · 03/03/2011 13:38

What MooMoo says. If you take it slowly then you get to know the person before doing much. If it's intense then you can't really tell if you're well suited because you're jumping in too quickly. So it's a gamble - which is fine as long as you are aware of that.

Also relationships which are very intense at the beginning - just be warned that can be a red flag for emotional abuse. Obviously not all intense relationships turn out to be abusive, but a lot of abusive relationships start out very intense (if that makes sense). So you get sucked in and then it's harder to break away.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 03/03/2011 15:41

Depends. Sometimes it's good if they don't last long - you get to have a lot of fun then move on before you are stuck in the everyday dullness of rowing over whose turn it is to put the bin out.

MissySmith · 03/03/2011 17:00

Well,DH and I moved in together after only 2 weeks of knowing each other. Nothing's fizzled out after 29 years. Things CAN last!

Original poster

ginnyjeans · 05/03/2011 17:42

Well, mine didn't last long (six-ish weeks). And it was so fantastic and I had this amazing connection with this man. He felt it too, totally. But he is at the end of a divorce and he isn't ready for anything serious. I just wish it was still full on. But will give it some time and see what happens next. I guess if nothing happens next, it wasn't meant to be. Trying to keep occupied in the meantime.

I guess it's all situation dependent and about being on the right page.

OP posts:

BulletWithAName · 05/03/2011 18:51

I've had two of these type of relationship. The first, when I was 16, lasted 6 months. He was older than me, had a kid and lots of baggage. We had an amazing connection from the start and I jumped in at the deep end with no liefjacket. With hindsight I would have never got involved because it damaged me.

The second, which started almost immediately after the break-up of the first, when I was 17, is coming up to 6 years this May (although this was no walk in the park either)!

Hope4me · 05/03/2011 19:03

My intense relationship 'made blind' to me some indications that things may not be okay in the long run. (ie drinking excuses mainly)I stuck with it but have regretted many years of it !

Krawley · 05/03/2011 21:39

Love is supposed to start with bells ringing and then go downhill ...
t?was the opposite for us ... there was a very intense connection
... as we stayed together, the bells rang louder

I remember ...
... the warmth of her cheek, her smile, her giggle
... the most passionate, elevating and pure pleasure ...
... every day was intense and alive, at work, travel, leisure ...

I gave her the power to break me, but trusted her not to
... when a peach is absolutely perfect ... it's sublime
... a shared joy ... is a double joy... she took my breath away

I remember ...
the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with her

People say that Love hurts,
... not true ... losing someone hurts

You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved,
and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it

So, to answer your question
... always fizzle out quickly?
... ... I dunno

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 05/03/2011 21:52

There aren't really any guarantees either way. Some people do seem to make an intense connection very quickly which then progresses to a lasting and mutually beneficial pairbond. Some people just kind of bumble along the heteromonogamous route without ever getting overexcited, and live perfectly contendly together. Sometimes a relationship that starts off all wildly intense and passionate then goes horribly wrong because one or both partners is a nutter. And sometimes people settle for what seems a safe, acceptable and sensible relationship and then find out that the other person is, well, a nutter.

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