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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

biting???

81 replies

tinkerbell41 · 01/03/2011 18:10

things are going well with new man,been two months now and its still exciting but settled if you know what i mean....he knows kids off limits and their routine and is accepting of that...i am still cooking too much for him but hey ho i (sorry!!!!!)like to!!!we had a couple of chats bout the no romance talk etc and i now happily tease him bout it...

anyway i,ll stop waffling and get to point of this thread.....was having a little afternoon playtime(sorry if this tmi)with him this afternoon and it was quite rough-both of us not just him....anyway when he went down below he bit me a couple of times-it hurt but didnt do any damage(cant believe
i,m writing this)...in some ways it was kinda nice but i,m just wondering if i,m being really thick and its a slippery slope??? am so out of things dont want to give him the wrong signals!!!!

OP posts:

emmyloopsyloo · 01/03/2011 18:16

Wrong signals? If it hurt why not say? Some people are in to biting, but it's something you'd discuss first.

I'd have bit his bollocks off in return for that, ouch. I wouldn't be chuffed at all. For me, two months in, if a bloke did that, he'd be history, minus bollocks, tbh.

SlightlyJaded · 01/03/2011 18:22

What exactly are you worried about? That you are going to get home and find him in a full latex suit and shackles?

I think a bit of biting is 'nothing' and if you liked it you liked it and if you didn't you didn't.

He may have had a partner who liked this, he may want you to bite him back or he may be, as concerns you, testing the boundaries for how far you are prepared to go into S&M territory.

To be honest, until he does something or suggests something that alarms you, I wouldn't worry as long as you are sending out clear signals about what is and isn't working for you.

What I mean is - if it makes you feel uncomfortable, pull away, move his hand (teeth? ) or whatever. He will get the message.

Am of our afternoon fun. Never get time

MotherNight · 01/03/2011 18:24

I wouldn't think much of it tbh, can't believe anyone would dump someone over it! You either like it or you don't and if you don't then say so.

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 18:27

Personally, biting is completely off limits for me

however you say it hurt...did you tell him that ? Do you want him to do it again ? If not, you should have told him never to do it again in no uncertain terms

if you liked it, I don't see what the problem is, because I expect you will take any new "advance" on its own merits, yes ?

so if he next thing he does, you don't like it... tell him

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 18:29

if he is a decent bloke, he should have started extremely gently, then stopped and asked if it was ok with you to carry on

if he went straight into Alsatian mode, I would be cautious, tbh

MotherNight · 01/03/2011 18:32

'Alsatian mode' that made me chuckle.

Original poster

tinkerbell41 · 01/03/2011 18:33

ta guys,we are generally quite rough with each other -he defo not a heart and flowers kinda guy-handcuffs etc so i,m happy with that.i,ve just never had a guy 'bite' me before!!! i do bite him too so i really dont know what i,m going on about,just wanted to check i was on the right path,sorry for the waffle!!

OP posts:

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 18:34

can you tell I don't think biting has a place in respectful relationship, MN ?

not up to me though, is it, this is OP's sex life, no mine

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 18:34

no, I dunno why you posted either

SlightlyJaded · 01/03/2011 18:35

{grin} @ Alsatian mode.

Just be clear about what works for you. If he is insistent or pushy after you have indicated you don't like something, you have a problem.

Hopefully he is just trying to excite you

SlightlyJaded · 01/03/2011 18:35

oops even

SlightlyJaded · 01/03/2011 18:36

Oh x posts with OP.

There isn't really a question after all is there?

MotherNight · 01/03/2011 18:41

I'm still giggling at that, alsatian mode should be avoided I feel!
However if it's all part of the general theme and your comfortable OP I wouldn't worry.

emmyloopsyloo · 01/03/2011 18:45

Maybe I'm old fashioned then. I know biting is quite a popular bed time adventure, not mine, but I know it's quite vanilla now.

But things like that is what you talk, ask about, gently try, no? If a bloke went down on me and bit my fanjo so it hurt, he would have his bollocks removed and yes for me it would be a deal breaker.

Thank the lord, I don't need to date anymore, things change so quick.

nurseblade · 01/03/2011 19:02

I'm into S+M but certainly wouldn't want to be bitten on the cunt! Horses for courses I suppose but I doubt this is a sign that your man is into S+M - more likely a sign that he's not sure how to eat pussy and needs a bit of guidance.

Original poster

tinkerbell41 · 01/03/2011 19:03

ta again guys for all your responses...lol at alastian mode....

emmyll-i so wish i didnt have to date either but its good to have a man around again,one who actually wants to take me to bed instead of shouting abuse or ignoring me!!!

sorry if thread shouldnt have been posted guess i was just a bit but it and wanted to make sure i wasnt sending him the completey wrong signals by not biting his nuts off back!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

tinkerbell41 · 01/03/2011 19:03

meant about it

OP posts:

Saltatrix · 01/03/2011 19:04

So you have been biting him? maybe he thought you like to be bitten as well. No one here can answer this for you, your going to have to speak to him.

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 19:11

OP, I didn't mean you shouldn't have posted, you can post what you like

What I meant was...after you said more, I don't actually think this is a problem to you, so not sure what you want people to say ?

if you bite him, he probably thinks you like it too

or shock horror you could ask him

Malificence · 01/03/2011 19:15

Although there are some lovely places for biting, neck/nipples/bottom even, your labia is not one of them, (not for me anyway)!
Exactly where did he bite?

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 19:40

nipples ? < ouch >

FlorencesMachine · 01/03/2011 19:54

Some are into biting, I definitely like my nipples bitten. I think he was just trying things out, and if yo don't like it, you just say it, no problem.

I can't believe people would go around having to ask before they did everything.

Do you mind if I touch you there?

...

And there?

...

And there?

That would be tiresome sex

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 20:05

Florence, I didn't say it would be polite to ask to touch every single spot, you are twisting my words...why ?

biting yes, I would certainly make sure someone was ok with it before sharpening my canines on their labia

FlorencesMachine · 01/03/2011 20:09

PA,

There's no indication from the OP that he went in chomping and gnashing, she might have just been a little surprised, that's all, and it hurt a little more than he or she expected. I would have thought a little biting or nibbling is pretty vanilla for most people

squeakytoy · 01/03/2011 20:10

I would bite his knob and see how he likes it

Seriously though, if you dont enjoy something, just say so, a simple "ouch ya bugger, dont do that" is sufficient to a considerate bloke... if he does it again, push him off and tell him to fuck off.

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