Will/Did you take your partner's name? (WWYD)

[berryshake]

About half-a-dozen of my female friends have recently got married, and only one kept her own name rather than taking her husband's. I've found myself wondering who some of these people are when they pop up on Facebook, especially when they have a very common (i.e. frequent) first name like Hannah or Rachel.

I've been thinking about whether I would or not.

Did you, or are you planning to, change your name when you get married? What did it feel like? Do you miss your old name?

I didn't. DD has both of ours. Works quite nicely in our case, luckily.

Do wonder what she will do with her children ...

theyoung haha very good but I am not telling. Its alive and very common. S'all I am saying.

Kept my maiden name , however my passport is in my married name( makes it easier when i travel with my dc's), but my bank details and driving licence are in my
maiden name. I like my maiden name.

Ms Interpret, DD may do as all the Spanish-speaking countries have done for centuries: she and her DH will use their first family name with their DC, which will have one family name from each parent. It has worked for many, many generations in my home country, is far fairer, and no one has to change their name. I can't fathom why the British, who practically invented feminism, are still allowing women to change family names back and forwards depending on who they marry, while men are "Mr X" for their whole lives.

I took DH's name. My maiden name was my father's anyway.

Ninky, your DH's name happens to be his father's too.

I took dh's name. It didn't really occur to me to do otherwise.

We were married in church too, and I promised to obey. We also agreed that the first reason for marrying was to have children, even though, at that time, we both felt the most important reason to marry was 'the mutual society, comfort and help that the one ought to have for the other'. Afterwards, we were glad we hadn't changed anything, as for us, it was important to be married in church, and, once you try to pick and choose, the whole point is lost iyswim.

My Mil made the unforgettable comment over a year later 'what a pity your name isn't 'B' , but eventually we were very close. I still miss her, and it's 17 years since she died.

Sadly, after 30 years, only dh is 'uncle' to my bil's and sil's children (and grandchildren), and neither of them think I have any right to the name.

I've kept my name - the thing that amuses me is that this means that DH is quite frequently addressed as Mr Myname. He's quite happy to answer to that...

I kept my name for professional reasons (now a bit defunct as I am a SAHM :)). I am happy to keep the same name, I couldn't see any reason to change it, to be honest, and I've never regretted it. The only downside that I've ever had is that when you move house, the Post Office charges redirection per surname, not per person. Which isn't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. :)

I didn't take my DH's name and our DC's have his surname. I don't really think it is that big a deal for people anymore. I just don't see the point of changing it now.

DD has her fathers surname, if we ever get round to getting married I will take his surname too. I won't miss mine, I have a slight lisp and cannot say my own name terribly well! Sadly DP's name is one you always have to spell as it can be spelt several ways..

I added my DH's name to my name. DCs have both our names so their surname is the same as mine. My family, particularly my father's family helped shape who I am: they gave me food, shelter, they loved me, nurtured me, protected me. They educated me. I adore my family, I am proud of the achievements they have helped me attain. They continue to support me as little or as much I want. My name tells a lot about my history, my identity. As much as I admire my DH's family, I could not 'replace' my family name with their's. I admire, respect, love my husband, I am proud of him and he is part of me now. So I have added his name to my name. Our DCs have inherited some wonderful history from our two families, so they have both names. DH and I discussed this before we became engaged and it transpired he was passionate about this and wanted to give our future DCs both our names; he left it entirely up to me what I chose to be called. I have asked him whether he feels sad that our DC's names are not exactly like his and he tells me no, that would be to 'trivialise' (his word) it.

Horsewhisperer that is so nice

I took DH's name because my maiden name is Dutch and bloody awkward both to spell and to pronounce - people back home in Holland got it wrong regularly, never mind here!

And no, I don't miss it, I think I sound much better with DH's surname, which is lovely and makes me sound Latino and mysterious .

I did, and even though we're divorcing I won't change back as I want to have the same name as the DCs.

I HATE the bloody name, though! (So does H!)

I did when I married exh1, then divorced and changed it back, changed it again when I married exh2 (didn't want to, but his exw1 hadn't taken his name and it was a big deal to him, plus we were planning to have children, and now I have changed it back again!! The DC have his name and don't think me having a different name makes any difference to anything. I do put (DDs mum) on emails to the school when I sign my name though.

I married and took my husband's name. My maiden name was another man's name with no professional attachment to it.

It is a very nice name, though, and rather unusual.

I did, it didn't cross my mind not to.

Never crossed my mind not too, cant see why it meant losing my identity - its just a surname.

Now that we have DS its far easier that we all have the same name, especially for school.

I changed my name. I never really liked my own name and I liked the idea of us all having the same name - DH's name would have sounded horrendous with my surname!

Took a while to get used to and it's annoying having to change everything over but it's my name now and would be weird to be back to my old name again!

I do think that changing names mid-career can disadvantage women professionally, in those careers where reputation and experience are important.

It brought it home to me the other day when DH asked me to recommend someone for a particular job of work, I remembered that a woman I was at University with had later set up a consultancy, Googled her name, and found her within a few seconds. Upshot was that she had a major new client. If she'd changed her name when she married, then I wouldn't have been able to identify her.

My colleagues mention to me that when they've mentioned my name to in the same field, they've frequently said 'oh yes, didn't she work on X project?', and so on. I think that your name is a major business asset, and changing it can have significant effects on your career.

I changed mine. It may sound old-fashioned, but I found the whole idea of taking DH's name very romantic. Sad but true, maaaaany years later I still get a kick out of hearing myself being called 'Mrs blah blah' sometimes

I took my husband's surname. I loved the idea of taking his name and enjoy that he calls me 'Mrs S'. Also find it funny as a passionate Scot that I had to marry an Englishman to get a Scottish clan surname
I found myself getting my own name wrong on the phone at work and when logging into my computer for a couple of months, but did get used to it. I'm a journalist and had built contacts over five years as 'Miss W' but figured I'd have longer in my career married than not so was as well just to change it and not worry about having to explain for a short while. It was never any problem.

I took my husband's name.

It is loads better than mine was