Do either of you bring things up that were told in confidence and use them to "win".
My H told me today that I come from a terrible background of child abusers and molesters. He said this because I once told him, in confidence that a family member had been abused by another family member. It is not the first time he has said this during an argument. He tells me I am psychotic all the time and then uses that as "evidence". In fact he uses all my weaknesses against me, he once said it was unsurprising that my mum uses to hit me because I was so irritating.
I know it's bad but can't see things clearly. I think it must be a lot me but this argument started today because I said I enjoyed a Sunday dinner a family member had cooked and this irritated him as I don't usually eat red meat so usually don't want it cooked for me, he said I never let HIM cook it for me and it escalated from there. I need some clarity because I can never seem to not end up feeling I am to blame fir the arguments.