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Original poster

Been on 2 dates with a guy and he's asked me to be his girlfriend!!

63 replies

frazzle26 · 20/02/2011 14:46

As the title says, I have been on 2 dates with a really lovely guy and he has just asked me (via text) to be his gf. I have said yes even though tbh, I feel that it is far too early to be labelling our "relationship". He has now posted himself as in a relationship on fb. I have not done the same yet so my name is not on his profile and I am still listed as single on mine.

The thing is, I really like him but I don't want things to go wrong because he's being pushy and forching things along.

Was I wrong to say I would be his gf this soon??

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 20/02/2011 14:48

id run a mile from anyone that says 'will you be my girlfriend'.

how old is he?10?

emmyloopsyloo · 20/02/2011 14:48

Are you both 12??? Run, run I say. It's very immature or fucked up, you decide which.

worraliberty · 20/02/2011 14:53

I think it's quite sweet really Smile

If you don't want to tell the world on FB (don't blame you there!) you can always hide your relationship status so it doesn't say single or otherwise.

Original poster
frazzle26 · 20/02/2011 14:56

He isn't weird in the slightest. It was said in a very sincere way. Initially he said, "so are we together then??" and I said "only if you ask me nicely!!" and that's when he asked me to be his gf. So it's not as though he just came out with it.

OP posts:
emmyloopsyloo · 20/02/2011 15:02

You both sound immature tbh. You did ask, so why ask the question, if you dont like the responses? Kind of pointless, you've already decided it's ok so that's that.

madonnawhore · 20/02/2011 15:03

"I have said yes even though tbh, I feel that it is far too early to be labelling our "relationship"."

why? why are you letting him dictate the pace of things so early on?

it sounds a bit desperate of him tbh. like he decided he wanted a girlfriend and any virtual stranger he's only met twice will do.

how can he possibly know? how can you?

i know there are instances of couples falling in love at first sight and things moving at lightning speed and it all works out fine, but the fact that you're on here expressing reservations makes me think this isn't one of those instances.

BertieBotts · 20/02/2011 15:04

Why is it weird, how else is he supposed to ask? Confused

madonnawhore · 20/02/2011 15:07

it's not weird per se that he asked but it's not good that OP felt compelled to say yes and not like she was able to say 'actually id like to take things slowly for the moment'.

emmyloopsyloo · 20/02/2011 15:09

Read the op again Bertie. He is forcing the pace of this relationship. He is being pushy and op does not know if this is the right way forward or not, she's uncomfortable with it.

Already op is looking at is the blame with her rather than him for being to pushy (last sentence).

Neither of these are great news and massive, huge, screaming, alarm bells of all sorts.

LaWeasel · 20/02/2011 15:10

That doesn't sound weird, it sounds sweet - and if you didn't want to be his gf you should have said 'wait and see' or something not 'ask me nicely'!

Talk about mixed messages.

HateThePILs · 20/02/2011 15:11

I think it's sweet, he obviously likes you OP and wants to tell the world he's a relationship.....quite nice. It doesn't have to change the way you act though, make sure you look for warnings should he be rushing you along, but no moreso than anyone else.

emmyloopsyloo · 20/02/2011 15:15

Does everyone on mn leave their brains at the school gates at the start of half term.

Genuine question as I can't believe some of the drivel on here lately, it's like nm.

Nevermind all the best op, I mean that btw!

madonnawhore · 20/02/2011 15:15

why did you say yes OP, if you're not sure? LaWeasel is right, you are giving him mixed messages here.

HateThePILs · 20/02/2011 15:18

emmy.....wtf? You've decided that someone wanting to be in a relationship as pushy, and suggesting terrible things.

madonnawhore · 20/02/2011 15:29

the OP used the word pushy herself. she also said that she wasn't ready to label their relationship yet but agreed to be his girlfriend anyway which is not cool because:

a. it's giving the guy mixed messages

b. if she said yes because she's scared to say, "i need a bit more time to get to know before i'm sure" in case he ends things then it's not cool that the progress of this relationship is conditional upon them becoming an official item so quickly

c. OP doesn't have the confidence or assertiveness to say how she's really feeling to this guy which allows him to push things along at a pace she's not entirely comfortale with.

Original poster
frazzle26 · 20/02/2011 15:34

I think that I may have a word with him later and say that whilst I think a lot of him and am really enjoying spending time with him that I think i was a little rash in saying i would be his gf. TBH, I'm kicking myself really because he asked me by text so it's not like i was on the spot or anything.

I'm just too nice for my own good.

OP posts:
HateThePILs · 20/02/2011 15:35

Fair enough, I still think it could just be a sweet thing but would always engage brain and warning receptors!!

BertieBotts · 20/02/2011 15:59

That sounds fair frazzle. Then by the way he reacts you will get your answer - whether he is being pushy or not.

Emmy I didn't read the OP as saying this man is being pushy, but that she wasn't sure whether his question was ok or whether it would be considered pushy by others. So more a case of clarifying her own judgement, than having doubts specifically.

beingsetup · 20/02/2011 16:03

Is it to do with fidelity? Maybe he's just asking you to not see other people and saying that he won't?

ImFab · 20/02/2011 16:09

You don't sound nice. You sound mean.

MooMooFarm · 20/02/2011 16:21

frazzle seriously - how old are you and your BF? If you're teenagers or something it's really sweet (not taking the p, I'm being serious).

But if you're older, then I find it a bit strange and makes him sound a bit desperate. Surely as adults, relationships evolve and develop at their own pace. If you want to see each other, you gradually give each other more and more of your time until - bingo - you're in a relationship with a BF/GF, without going out of your way to 'make it happen'.

HateThePILs · 20/02/2011 16:29

He just asked if they're together, possibly meaning exclusive, and she asked him to say it nicely....What could he have said? will you be my partner? Can I tell people I'm in a relationship?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/02/2011 16:31

I don't know how old you are, OP, but I think there's a tendency in younger people to immediately label themselves relationship-wise. They're often (but not always), the ones who refer to a GF/BF of a few weeks as 'the other half'. It's a bit cringeworthy but that's all.

If you don't want the GF-label, don't take it, just say that you're friends for now.

piratecat · 20/02/2011 16:38

op, i don't think you do want to be exclusive to him. I don't think you are sure he is bf material for you.

EricNorthmansMistress · 20/02/2011 16:40

I think it was a pretty odd and immature way of expressing it, but I think what he was saying is that he likes you and maybe would like to be exclusive? In your position I would not have committed myself to being his girfriend yet, but at the end of the day it's only a word, it doesn't actually define the relationship between you - and if you find you aren't compatible then calling him your boyfriend or not won't make it any harder or easier to break up with him!

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