Husband cheating with prostitutes

[dazedandconfused71]

I've had the worst night ever, my world has been turned upside down.

I needed to change the parental controls on my DC's email account. Logged into the master account which I haven't done for several years. Noticed husband has set up a second account for himself. I googled the name he was using and found him on a BDSM site arranging to meet women and couples. At our apartment in another city that he uses for business.

I found his phone and can see that he's been logging onto escort agency websites. I then googled every phone number he has dialled and found one for a prostitute in our city. The days he phoned were when I took our children away to an amusement park for a weekend with my sister and family, the other day when he said he was going to a gig.

I confronted him about the escorts and he admitted everything. I think. He said that he has been going through a bad time the last couple of years (work could be going better but wtf?) and that he has been using the for around 2 1/2 years. He says he doesn't have sex just hand jobs, BJ. He said it was all over now and that he had decided this himself, it's a new years resolution apparently.

I asked him several times if there was anything else he wanted to tell me he said no each time. I then told him that I knew about his other email and the websites he's been on and that he was on them all through Jan and Feb, so not much of a resolution. He said it was all fantasy and he'd never meet anyone on there.

We've been up all night. I can't look at him, I'm distraught. I thought things were good. I want him to leave but he's says he's going to stay to prove to me it's all over and that he's always loved me. He's says leaving wouldn't help anyone.

He's always known my feelings on infidelity. It's over. But he's trying to put a positive spin on it, best thing that could happen, it'll make us stronger...

I don't think we can recover from this. How can I let him touch me again knowing where he's been?

We've been together 11 years, married since 2003, we have 2 young children. Sorry it's a long post, just needed to "talk" it out.

i would say 70% of men have visited a prostitute once in their life!

Are you absolutely nuts?

Tweety, please kick this arsehole out of your life. My first Husband had a roving eye. No escorts, but plenty of infidelity. I eventually left him and found a lovely, faithful man who I am now married to. You really don't have to put up with such shit, you know. The irony is that my first H was short, weedy, not that good looking....DH is a big, tall, handsome man and totally faithful and never eyes up other women. Go find yourself a good guy.

I know I am completely nuts. It's embarrassing... He's the only bf ive ever had. I know I'm a fairly attractive woman too but im pretty shy.

Could I ask, is this all anonymous? I would die if anyone found out what I'm putting up with

Of course it's anonymous. Tweety, I've been where you are. My first usband was my first bf, and the only man I had been with. I put up with so much shit. But I was young (16 when I met him, 17 when started dating and 20 when we married)....he cheated a lot, but lied and I looked past stuff....I'm 47 now and with a lovely man who would never do those things....we have a great life, very loving, great sex, no cheating....please think about moving on to a better man than this...

i know, I really should. Even after all this and how long he's been putting me thro this nightmare i haven't once cheated to get back at him. Maybe I should! Maybe it would knock some sense into me. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.

Hi , I have just a month ago found out that my husband of nearly two years has slept with two prostitutes, the first one was just a month before our first wedding anniversary and the second one was a few months later, he also a month after this saw another for a massage which also includes a hand job, I found out when he was working away as I knew something wasn't right but never in a million years expected this, he had been using an online sight called uk punting where he was initially reading reviews about women from other men who had used their services and I found three reviews that he had written containing everything that he had done with theses women, bragging about it as well as other commets about other women's bodies.
Anyway that was a month ago and I'm still going through every emotion possible from disbelief, shock, sadness, anger, disgust, disappointment you name it I'm feeling it, we have been seeing a councillor which was his idea and lots of things have been coming out regarding PTSD and the loss of his job earlier this year, he is a different person since i found out he says it's because there are no more lies and he can tell me everything now and finally be himself, which is great for him but my life has been turned upside down everything I held dear to me he has taken away, yes he is full of remorse and is doing everything to help me recover from his deceit and move forward with our lives together.
I was always someone who thought I would never be able to live with infidelity the problem is I love my husband and hate him now at the same time it's so confusing I've lost everything but he hasn't he still has me I'm still here maybe I will leave as truthfully I haven't really decided yet it's so hard to look at the man you love and picture him with a prostitute doing all the things he wrote about which he tells me he didn't he was just bragging to make himself look better on this punting website as other men can view your posts and the prostitutes, it's just such a pity his wife found it and had to read them as well I'm so hurt and disappointed in my husband actually he doesn't even deserve that title as he's the one who made a conscious descion to do what he did and apparently not even enjoy he felt detached which I find hard to believe.
I would welcome some feedback from any other women who have had a similar thing thrust upon them.

Bear this is a really old thread, maybe post a new thread?

Sorry sounds awful

Bear this thread is very old.
It was started back in February 2011!!!
6+ years ago.
Please do start your own thread and get some proper support.
You won't get it on this ZOMBIE thread.