Engagement rings

[brazenhussy]

Any input welcome on this matter please ladies

Is there a general rule of thumb as to how much one costs?

Is it always bought solely by the man?

Does the man have a gift too, ring, other piece of jewellrey ect?

My DF (soon to be DH) bought mine - it was £100 and I LOVE it. I didn't get him anything!

There used to be some silly "rule" about it being the equivalent of two months wages... lol...

Mine cost £150 about ten years ago.. which was less than a weeks wage.. but I still think that is fine for a bit of gold with a diamond in it!

Men dont normally wear an engagement ring.. and the man buys the woman her ring.

Obviously anyone who gets you something for £30 out of the Argos catalogue is to be avoided.

Doesn't have to be bought soley by the man. My DH put £1500 towards mine and I paid the rest (about an extra 200-300 I think). Thought that asking him to pay anymore was taking the piss a bit, but each to their own.

I didnt get him anything

The "rule" was invented by jewellers as an ad campaign.

If you're finances are not yet merged, find out tactfully what the likely budget is, and enjoy looking.

Can men join in?

Traditionally?

Week's wages. (so £10l £192 £20k £385; £40k £770) It's meant to hurt and show commitment.
Just by the man.
No.

Oh, and if you chuck him, you're meant to give the ring back; if he chucks you, you keep it.

Nowadays, do what feels right for both of you.

My mum's always said equivalent to one month's salary. I think we were both short changed in the diamond department!

Well tradition says a ring should cost a months wages and the man should pay.But I don't think many people stick to that.

You need to get whatever you love that you can comfortably afford. I don't think rings have to be expensive. Mine did cost a lot and I do love it. Though my DDs friend came round the other day and she was wearing a ring set which I know was very cheap and came from Argos. They looked so pretty I would have been very happy to wear them.

Month's wages? Wow. I must be a poor northerner :)

I know that DH got what he could afford at the time. It is understated but I love it, I didn't care about the cost, what I really cared about was the offer, that I loved him and that he had got me a ring that was so me. What a lovely surprise. If he had spent 10 x what he did I would not have been more 'satisfied'.

For the record it is a white gold band with four tiny diamonds and sapphires. Love it.

Like meditrina says I can only believe the "tradition" was invented.

When my mum got engaged there was no ring but her Aunt thought it would be 'proper' for her to wear a curtain ring to show she ws engaged. I am not sure whether she did this or not!

I am am old cynic me....

Thank you

I had heard the 'months wages' rule too.

When I got engaged 18 years ago my engagement ring cost £3000 but we had that sort of money then.

As time has gone on I have become less and less materialistic and I honestly couldn't care less if my DP bought one from Argos as it is the sentiment that was behind it that matters to me.

SenoritaViva That ring sounds lovely :)

I have an engagement ring somewhere, although we never did get married. It sounds awful saying somewhere but it's in a tin that I stored a few other things in for safe keeping. I've recently moved the tin and now can't remember where I've put it. I kept it for my dd.

The tradition was invented by De Beers, the diamond company, in either the late 70s or early 80s. I remember the cinema ads & thinking that it was a brilliant & cynical piece of marketing.

Before that it was just what you could afford. Our ring cost about a week's wages & was more than most couples spent. Curtain rings would be fine.

HEY HEY HEY

MISSUS

I am still waiting for my tell all message to be answered!!!

On MSN now Fab

I'm there!!!!!!!!

I think in the past, however, an engagement ring had more attachment linked to it. If an engagement were broken off, the women was shamed, so it was in her interest to demand a large expensive ring - these days, there's no shame at all in having broken off an engagement

Taghain: thanks! That was the one I remembered - it went from one to two month's salary in the 1990s, I think.

brazenhussy: here's a link to the recent history of engagement rings - there don't appear to be any strong traditions.

Mine cost £10. Was silver and glass. Loved it and didn't care a bit about the costs because of who it was from and what it meant.

Harriet is right- it's not about the cost but about what it means (and what it looks like!)

I have a friend who let slip that her engagement ring cost £38000 (EEK!). It's pretty ordinary looking if you ask me but I suppose it's quite a gesture!

Mine is a sapphire hoiked out of DH's granny's engagement ring (one of three she had- she evidently didn't believe in giving them back)which he had put in a more modern setting. It's lovely and I wouldn't change it for the world (and cost a lot less than my friend's).

When I - ahah, optimistically! - got engaged at eighteen, I insisted on buying him a ring too. We were both skint students, so the budget was £100 and we both had a lovely ring each from H Samuel.

Do what suits you both.

We already lived together and had a child together, had already discussed getting married in the future, so there was no proposal and no ring. We spent our money on a nice pair of platinum wedding rings. :)

I had the Argos one. But at the time he was an apprentice motor mechanic.
It kind of didn't matter and as we've just celebrated our 27th Valentines together my instincts were right.
I got a real 'whacker' of a replacement for my 40th (now he owns the company!) and it's a blimming awkward thing always getting caught up on things and scratching small children.