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Relationships

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Original poster

Engagement rings

53 replies

brazenhussy · 18/02/2011 15:44

Any input welcome on this matter please ladies

Is there a general rule of thumb as to how much one costs?

Is it always bought solely by the man?

Does the man have a gift too, ring, other piece of jewellrey ect?

OP posts:

Niceguy2 · 19/02/2011 10:16

Here's a question for you. Not for the immediate future but one day when the time is right.

What's the best way to find out what style of ring my GF would like and what ring size she is?

Has anyone's DH/fiance been particularly cunning?

CameronCook · 19/02/2011 10:27

Totally agree with Harriet.

superv1xen · 19/02/2011 10:39

DH spent £2.5k on mine

niceguy2 DH had already bought me an eternity ring before he proposed (long story, he wanted to propose but we were both still married to our exes! although separated) so he "borrowed" my eternity ring when i had left it at home one day and went in to town and used the size to get my engagement ring.

it was a lovely proposal, he went down on one knee in the street

superv1xen · 19/02/2011 10:40

and also to niceguy - don't leave it toooooo long!

TysonNobdie86 · 19/02/2011 10:44

Mine cost £350. Looked it up accidently recently and in 6 years it is now £800.
So it doesnt really matter, it will be worth more over the years anyway.

RandyRussian · 19/02/2011 10:47

Helzapoppin Fri 18-Feb-11 17:16:47
I have a friend who let slip that her engagement ring cost £38000

Why didn't he just buy her a house and have done with it??

Downunderdolly · 19/02/2011 10:54

mine is beautiful and cost about a month's salary (LOTS at the time) and was designed on the back of a napkin after a romantic proposal in Nicaragua. However, husband left six months ago a week into IVF ttc no 2 as he apparantly 'couldn't do it anymore'....sorry to be a downer or pollyanish but its the man not the ring and don't put pressure on him to spend what you can't afford. That said hope you get a lovely one however much it is!! x

mrsgordonfreeman · 19/02/2011 10:55

I think women who expect an expensive diamond engagement ring are a bit thick and certainly quite boring.

Yes, i judge.

If you want something that holds its value, ask for a mint condition Boba Fett in original packaging.

My friend just got engaged, he gave a custom designed ring that he ordered from the US, cost about £200. Absolutely lovely, not at all boring.

I said that if his girlfriend demanded yet another diamond solitaire, she wasn't the girl he thought she was and he should dump her forthwith.

Of course she loved it.

berryshake · 19/02/2011 11:25

After seeing films like Blood Diamond I no longer want a diamond anywhere near me, and I'm quite interested by Fairtrade gold too.

superv1xen · 19/02/2011 11:47

just wanted to say, i didnt expect an expensive ring!! and i would have been happy with one much cheaper as its what it means, not what it costs.

Dylthan · 19/02/2011 12:03

Dh spent about a months wages on mine. I was 18 and he was 21 so we didn't really think much about it just went with a bog standard solitaire diamond would choose something more original if it was now but I still love my engagement ring dh choose it himself and it is beautiful.

I bought him a watch. I would look at the ring and be reminded of how much he loved me so I wanted to get him something he could wear that would remind him of how much I loved him

Hatterbox · 19/02/2011 12:35

I also agree with Harriet (great name by the way!), it's not the cost, it is who it's from.

My engagement ring was once my DH's great-grandmother's ring, she gave DH the ring to ask me, and it makes it mean even more to me that she wanted me to have the ring.

(She was over 100 at the time, and sadly didn't live long enough to attend the wedding, but she was there in her own way).

However, I was stunned when I told people at my former work I was engaged and explained about the ring, that a small number of my colleagues were negative that DH hadn't bothered to buy me my own ring.

I know someone else who has a 'family engagement ring' and has had similar comments.

Bonkers.

BrandyAlexander · 19/02/2011 14:37

My engagement ring falls in the expensive category. However, I am less sentimental about my engagement ring and more sentimental about my wedding ring. I once told DH that if I lost the engagement ring (having done so twice!) I would be upset but happily replace it. I would be devastated if I lost my simple wedding ring band as that's the one he gave me on our wedding day and was blessed during our ceremony. It feels irreplaceable to me. (Btw, DH responded that he wishes I had felt like that before the wedding as he would have spent less! )

noodle69 · 19/02/2011 15:46

My husband was paid £900 a month and he spent £700 on mine. I chose it though and I like it. If you are going to wear it forever why not get something you really like? We were 18 and I would say its the best thing I own.

upahill · 19/02/2011 15:56

Old misery guts here can't see the point in engagement rings!

Saying that I have no interest in any sort of rings!!

Catsmamma · 19/02/2011 16:06

I would be very worried about a surprise engagement ring tbh niceguy2

ime it's a very personal thing, and how awful would you feel if you got it wrong, or as the wearer had to wear it every damned day knowing it was not exactly what she wanted

....for reference remember Kate Middleton's face showing off her Diana cast off sapphire hand-me-down.

and also an engagement ring is not a returnable gift....unless it is a family heirloom and made clear at the time of giving.

I made it very clear to dh quite early on that it was not a purchase he should make alone! ...and he still married me, bless! :o

Roo83 · 19/02/2011 16:23

I always thought it was 3 months salary....all these years I was thinking dp was a cheapskate when he'd actually been quite generous! Depends on the person-I chose my own ring but would have LOVED a surprise,even if it cost less as shows more thought (in my personal opinion)

queenrollo · 19/02/2011 16:35

I don't have an engagement ring. After years in a job where wearing rings wasn't really comfortable/a good idea I struggle to wear them now. Getting married a week today and I know it will take a while to get used to wearing my wedding ring.
We splashed out a little bit on our wedding rings instead and had them custom made.

Changing2011 · 19/02/2011 17:37

Mine cost £350 in the sale, it was originally about £500 - I dont like it anymore! And my DAD paid for it, as my grandad had given him the money to buy my Mum a decent ring (better than the little one Dad had bought on his apprentice wage in 1979!). So Dad wanted to repeat the tradition and gave us £300 and we put a little towards it.

I really dont care about the ring, we have not married since getting engaged six years ago and I am ashamed at my boring choice of ring (white gold diamond solitaire) because everyone has them now! I tend to wear my Claddagh ring on my ring finger as it means more. I also have quite a collection of rings as I am the only daughter and have grandmothers, mothers and DP's grandmothers rings passed on to me. So I could have a ring for each day of the week!

I am decided on the wedding ring I want though and this time DP WILL be paying for it and not my Dad! Its a diamond parve ring very simple and slender and sparkly. My engagement ring will probably only come out on special occasions until DD receives it when she is older.

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 17:42

There is no tradition. When we got engaged, I had more money than DH as he was training for a while. But as his career took off so did his money.

My rings are tale of our lives, the engagement ring was the cheapest, followed by the wedding ring, then for my eternity ring I got the ultimate bling. I love them all and I wear them all together. It shows us from going to a couple starting out to where we are now.

Zorayda · 19/02/2011 18:22

Snap, Dylthan! I bought DH a watch and he bought me a ring. We chose them together; it was meant to be the beginning of a lifetime of joint decisions, so it made sense to start as we meant to go on! I admit it's an unusual view, but I find the "surprise romance" angle a little control-freakery.

CarGirl · 19/02/2011 18:49

I never got an egagement ring nor and eternity ring after giving him 3 lovely dc. However when we got married half of the cost was my diamond set wedding ring far better value than the day of the wedding IYSWIM!

PS As weddings go it was fairly inexpensive

LauLauLemon · 19/02/2011 19:04

My ring cost £50 refurbished from a local jeweller. We were strapped for cash as we were saving for our house but I didn't care. We were living together like a married couple, we have children together and a month after he proposed I found out I was pregnant with DD2. It didn't matter about the cost as long as I loved it.

I still love it. It's a 'traditional' yellow gold solitaire ring but sod tradition, it's cubic zirconia. I constantly get compliments on how expensive it looks and I'm happy to wear it forever.

But traditionally, I heard, it was one month's wage and the man buys it.

NancyDrewHadaClue · 19/02/2011 19:46

niceguy

I can't claim DH was particularly inspired but he proposed with a tin foil ring which meant I got the suprise/presentation bit of the proposal but without him having the pressure of choosing a ring for me.

It worked really well and was fortunate really, as for years I had been adamant that I wanted an emerald cut solitaire diamond but having never tried on engagement rings before it wasn't until we went shopping that I decided they weren't actually for me.

soopermum1 · 19/02/2011 20:53

no engagement ring here. When we decided to get married it was a toss up between buying a ring or a washing machine. We got the washing machine

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