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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Advice for a new wife to be

60 replies

sash75 · 09/02/2011 17:07

Hi,

This is my first thread, so please be kind!

I have a friend who is getting married this year and she wants some tips on how to be a good wife and mother. After laughing very loudly when she said I was a good one, I thought it would be a very nice thing to give her a book with some top tips in it. You can see where I am going with this.................

I am after your help for some hints and tips, all welcome, be truthful, on remaining married and happy (maybe I should replace that with sane!), especially when the kids come along.

Top 5 would be great (if you have that many) if not all donations gratefully received.

Thanks in advance for your help to make a really original present for a very special girl.

OP posts:
sowhatis · 09/02/2011 17:11

Stay Calm
Listen
Deep Breaths
Dont Sweat the small stuff
Enjoy!

Scrumpet · 09/02/2011 17:11

Tell her not to take any shit and stand her ground ;)

Does she live in 1953 by any chance?

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 17:12

gosh, have I travelled back in time to the 18th Century ?

I am sure it was 2011 when I woke up this morning Confused

fridascruffs · 09/02/2011 17:13

Marry the right man

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 17:13

x post scrumpet

great minds though Smile

LibraPoppyGirl · 09/02/2011 17:14

Wear a pinny and make sure her lippy is applied when gets home to eat hid dinner that is waiting on the table for him Grin

Scrumpet · 09/02/2011 17:15

Praise indeed, AF.

I'm finding it hard to believe that a woman in this day and age would ask for advice on how to be a good wife.

I think probably the best advice would be to send your friend to this section for the best hints and tips.

supadupapupascupa · 09/02/2011 17:15

pick your fights and let those go that you can compromise on. That way when you do put your foot down, it s taken more seriously!

remember that DH is NOT a mindreader

Asking him how his day was goes a long way to seeming interested (just learned that one Blush

get a KING SIZE bed

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 17:15

...and keep the children quiet so their silly chit-chat doesn't disturb him

LibraPoppyGirl · 09/02/2011 17:16

Learn to type - hid = his Blush

scurryfunge · 09/02/2011 17:16

Always warm his slippers by the fire and do not bother him with trivial mutterings about your day.

LibraPoppyGirl · 09/02/2011 17:17

Join MN she'll heaps of advice Wink

supadupapupascupa · 09/02/2011 17:17

let your partner have time alone with the kids, don't butt in or comment (ie stay in bed!)

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/02/2011 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 09/02/2011 17:18

Do not become a skivvy...the housework is not automatically the female's job.
Expect to be treated with respect.
Remember you are both equal parents and therefore are both 50% responsible for any children you may have.

*Word of warning...I've never actually been married Grin

Bertina · 09/02/2011 17:19

sash75 are you in fact the groom to be?

Original poster
sash75 · 09/02/2011 17:20

You sure don't pull any punches, it's putting a smile on my face reading your messages!

I'm still not sure why she thinks I am a good one, given that I am a mum of 3 who rarely cleans, drinks at the weekends, and gets my DH to do the cooking - maybe that is what she means!

OP posts:
LibraPoppyGirl · 09/02/2011 17:20

Making sure you actually have something to cook for dinner Shock

supadupapupascupa · 09/02/2011 17:20

if we are feeling just generally crappy and irritated and start sounding off at one another we follow with 'grrrrrrrrrrr' to show we are just pissed off, and not at them. Makes A HELL of a difference and stops uneccessary retaliations. It kind of says "I know i am out of order but i just need to do this!!"

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 17:21

ah sash...she wants tips on how to be a proper wife...not a Stepford wife ?

just point her in the direction of MN Grin

LibraPoppyGirl · 09/02/2011 17:22

She obviously wants to emulate you sash75 why don't you write down your own tips and present it in a really pretty journal Smile

Wink
supadupapupascupa · 09/02/2011 17:22

never wear underwear once it is grey Smile

Figgyrolls · 09/02/2011 17:23

this for wife and for parenthood Grin

you have to have some fun and a little sarcasm!

I wish I could find my dad's quote from my wedding speech about having children - taking a goat to the supermarket/ putting a melon in a string bag and swinging it from side to side whilst trying to get a spoonful of porridge into it's drawn on mouth! Brilliant and I wish I had taken more notice of it as it truly is just like his quote Grin!

supadupapupascupa · 09/02/2011 17:24

haha! you are all mean! I think OP wanted something useful Grin

[laughs at libra]

TobyLerone · 09/02/2011 17:24

I actually like this thread. It is a constant source of worry to me that my current relationship will go the same way as my marriage went -- no respect, little intimacy, ennui, fights and general dislike of each other.

I read this board more to try and find out what not to do than anything else. Perhaps if more people cared more deeply about the fundamental things that make a relationship work, relationships might last longer.

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