Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Husband posting things about me on Facebook.

95 replies

fairyfart · 02/02/2011 21:31

Have been informed by a mutual friend that hubby wrote something about me on his wall. I feel a bit stupid now as we have shared contacts on facebook and they will all have read this and are more than likely laughing at me now.
Feel so humiliated.

OP posts:

MummieHunnie · 02/02/2011 22:50

that is because

a) birds of a feather... press like
b) nieve people say nothing and don't realise
c) your friends tell you, hug you when you cry and support you to do what you want to do

dittany · 02/02/2011 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummieHunnie · 02/02/2011 22:53

d) people pleaser scardy cats also press like

AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 22:54

look, FB is full of fucking idiotic sheep who press the "like" button for all sorts of shit

remember Raoul Moat ?...he had a fucking FB fanclub...that says it all really

stop obsessing about what the FB sheep think of you...who cares ?

it is stopping you from facing rationally the piss-poor situation you are in at home

ilovesooty · 02/02/2011 23:00

"it is stopping you from facing rationally the piss-poor situation you are in at home"

I agree. By the sound of it there's a lot more wrong with the way the OP's husband treats her than one piddling little Facebook comment.

Original poster

fairyfart · 02/02/2011 23:03

We have been together 11 years.
It seems to be so easy for some people to think, oh yeah, facebook is not real life. But when those same folk are stood practically next to you at school, it's not so easy to think, so what?

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 23:05

right ok

< leaves thread >

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/02/2011 23:06

FF you need to redirect your focus on your husband not on the school gates. What he did was really nasty and unnecessary and he is going to continue to do this type of thing to you. Why do you want to live like this?

Tortington · 02/02/2011 23:06

so have you mentioned this to him? what did he say?

FreudianSlippery · 02/02/2011 23:10

Wow how immature of him!

mamas12 · 02/02/2011 23:10

Hmm so as it's public it makes it so much easier to point and say look at his unreasonable behaviour.

Make planss to get out.

ilovesooty · 02/02/2011 23:12

"It seems to be so easy for some people to think, oh yeah, facebook is not real life. But when those same folk are stood practically next to you at school, it's not so easy to think, so what?"

So that's more significant to you than the systematic abuse you've described? Words fail me.

MummieHunnie · 02/02/2011 23:14

When someone is emotionally abusing you at home it is one thing, to actually have it out in public means having to leave delusion and having to deal with it and that is hard. In that sort of situation you do what you do to survive.

alicatte · 02/02/2011 23:16

Have you spoken to him - I think you should.

I also think you should get on to facebook 'poste haste'. Upload a particularly nice photograph of yourself and then, possibly, fail to mention this to him for a little while. Of course you should make sure that you invite all your email contacts to be your friends (except him).

As soon as you get your first male 'I would really like to be your friend' (trust me you will quite soon - everybody I know does) complain loudly about it on your wall. That ought to concentrate his mind. Then put in his name as 'married to' you, I am sure he will be only too glad to accept your nomination.

bubblewrapped · 02/02/2011 23:18

Set yourself up on facebook, add him as a friend, as well as your other mutual contacts, and then see what facebook is all about.

It doesnt have to be secretive, in fact you dont even need to regularly go on it, but at least he wont be able to have a laugh at your expense without you seeing it.

MummieHunnie · 02/02/2011 23:21

Don't add him as a friend, don't say you are married, leave that blank, and make sure you put your married and maiden name on there! Add decent people as your friends, and as someone said don't tell him you have done it! Just load nice pic's of you and none of you and him!

GreenEyesandHam · 02/02/2011 23:22

Forget about the 'likes' (ass-licking feckwipes)

Anyone who saw that as a FB status would think ARSEHOLE

At least in my life they would

bubblewrapped · 02/02/2011 23:25

That would just cause more tension though.. almost in the way of two wrongs not making a right.

I cant understand couples who are both on facebook but are not linked to each other, or friends with each other. Its just bizarre to me.

I am on FB, so is my husband, and every other member of the family. We have family and friends all over the world and this is our way of keeping upto date in real time, and no pressure to remember to email to keep in touch.

Facebook is only bad news if you are using it to be secretive or to air your dirty washing in public. Used responsibly it is a great tool for people to communicate.

MummieHunnie · 02/02/2011 23:26

I was hoping that she would see the way to not just going it alone on fb, personally!

emmyloopsylou · 02/02/2011 23:50

Youe husband is an immature prick.

What a nasty man.

TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 03/02/2011 00:35

what a twat! i would set up a second account and add him as a friend.

JustForThisOne · 03/02/2011 00:42

at the school gate... tell you ''friend'' oooh thank you for worrying about me but that msg wasnt for me, surely for his FB lover he had been dump. Say it as you mean it....and move along
I know I would have, it just the way my mind reacts to people minding my own business

waterrat · 03/02/2011 04:24

Please ignore the people here telling you to get revenge or get on facebook - this is absolutely ridiculous.

You are in an abusive relationship - please seek outside help. Do you have friends / family you can talk to - tell them your partner is making you extremely unhappy and ask what they think.

Call womens Aid - you dont need to spend the rest of your life in this situation. When you decide you want to leave come here and get support on this forum from other women who have been through the same.

You deserve better than this. Stop focusing on individual incidents and see the wider whole.

robberbutton · 03/02/2011 05:33

What waterrat said. Please don't start playing games with him. Work on changing or ending this damaging relationship.

mummytime · 03/02/2011 06:26

This is cyberbullying! As with a teenager I would recommend that you get a copy of the page (get someone to print it off for you). You could take it to the police. If you are still with your husband you might want to show he the following stop cyberbullyingor the government one or advice aimed at adults.

If you have teenage kids maybe they could talk to him, as they will have studied this issue at school.

There is no excuse in my opinion, it is just nasty and childish.

Flip

1 2 3 4