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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Husband posting things about me on Facebook.

95 replies

fairyfart · 02/02/2011 21:31

Have been informed by a mutual friend that hubby wrote something about me on his wall. I feel a bit stupid now as we have shared contacts on facebook and they will all have read this and are more than likely laughing at me now.
Feel so humiliated.

OP posts:

Mymblesson · 02/02/2011 22:08

Your husband posted that about you on FB?

Bloody hell. What an utter cockwipe.

robberbutton · 02/02/2011 22:09

OP are you Sparkle5 ? V similar thread a few down, H with secret fb account who had blocked his wife

Dispicable behaviour.

Original poster

fairyfart · 02/02/2011 22:10

Seems to be a bit of crossed wires here.
I am NOT on facebook as I think it is a bit childish and am just not really interested in it.
He however is on it constantly, but that is up to him.
What really upsets me though is that now others have seen this, because it's so public, they will all be thinking I am some kind of bunny boiling wife who spys on her husband and is a bit loopy.
I have to go to school tommorrow with our children and feel like climbing into a hole.

I know that if I confront him on this, I will lose as I always do. No matter what goes wrong it's always my fault. If money goes astray, it's me, if paperwork goes astray, it's me, if a bottle of coke goes astray ,it's me again. I have stopped trying to argue my innocence with him because he won't believe it, ever.
Example: he swore blind I had 'stolen' his wallet, then he found it in the car. I would'nt mind but I didn't even get an apology.
This is different though, this is public.
Like having a really big argument outside school gates in front of everyone.

OP posts:

coff33pot · 02/02/2011 22:10

I wouldnt worry about it and just shrug it off. I have got facebook myself but wouldnt talk about husband and wife stuff on it I must admit.

Quite frankly it just shows his immaturity that he has to try to belittle you and probably doesnt see it being an issue.

And dont hang around in school playgrounds. Notorious site for gossip anyway :)It will be another poor womans turn soon. If anyone says anything just plain shrug it off and say "really? thanks for letting me know because I dont actually read his wall" I am going to go home and tell him to leave notes on the fridge in future :o

Laugh at it and the rest will laugh with you. Make a thing of it and it just adds to gossip.

THEN go home and tell your husband to grow up as he is obviously the insecure one and would he mind deleting this so called post that your friends are telling you about and try talking to you instead of half the world.

perfumedlife · 02/02/2011 22:11

at whomovedmychocolate gitmeister class!

For goodness sake op, what on earth sort of marriage is this? Am I missing some new rules of engagement?

MummieHunnie · 02/02/2011 22:12

Do you think that is normal for a husband to treat a wife like that op?

Mymblesson · 02/02/2011 22:13

No matter what goes wrong it's always my fault. If money goes astray, it's me, if paperwork goes astray, it's me, if a bottle of coke goes astray ,it's me again. I have stopped trying to argue my innocence with him because he won't believe it, ever.

This is not a marriage, it's a torture chamber.

Bluegrass · 02/02/2011 22:13

Perhaps talk to him (rather than posting about him on the internet).

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/02/2011 22:13

He is an arse. What do you see in him? What are you getting out of the relationship? He is eroding your self-esteem and you are just a verbal punch-bag. By the sounds of it he is gaslighting.

Leave and when you have left, leave some more.

robberbutton · 02/02/2011 22:14

fairyfart sounds like you have a terrible relationship! Don't you want to do anything about it?

robberbutton · 02/02/2011 22:15

Lol, gosh there's lots of us on here tonight

nannynobnobs · 02/02/2011 22:17

What do you get out of this marriage fairyfart? Apart from having your self esteem trampled on and your free will strangled? He sounds rather like a bullying twatface.

Eurostar · 02/02/2011 22:18

Blames you for everything? Have a read of this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/793165-Narsissistic-personality-disorder

and this one..

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/923303-Narcissitic-Personality-Disorder-Part-2

Glamour · 02/02/2011 22:18

agree with Bluegrass

and just tell him to get a grip and sort himself out, he sounds like a plank!

and oh my gosh i hate facebook i do!!

MmeLindt · 02/02/2011 22:20

Does he have any redeeming qualities, because from where I am sitting he looks like a massive arse.

My DH does not have a FB account but I would never post anything about him on mine. And he is free to look at my account whenever he wants.

Original poster

fairyfart · 02/02/2011 22:21

Yes I suppose I could join facebook and do the same to him, but I don't have the time to play games.
And robberbutton, what do you suggest I do about my marriage?
Let's be honest, if he is prepared to publicly humiliate me in this way, then what chance do we have?

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 22:21

eww, what a horrible man

FF...you sound like a downtrodden woman in a marriage that is very bad for you

stop rying to "confront" him...you are wasting your time

start making plans to get out of his toxic situation

Mymblesson · 02/02/2011 22:22

if he is prepared to publicly humiliate me in this way, then what chance do we have?

Slim to zero. Get out before your self-esteem is gone and you end up shackled to this arse that walks like a man for the rest of your life.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/02/2011 22:25

This has nothing to do with Facebook - that is just the medium he has chosen to humiliate his wife (the person he is supposed to love) and once more accuse her of things she hasn't don't. He appears to be constantly shifting the sand under her feet, moving the goalposts, whatever analogy you like really. That is no way to live your life.

My previous post was a bit glib. But I really don't think things will get any better if you talk or confront him until you are blue in the face. It will never be his problem it will always be yours. He has shown you this every time you argue with him. What do you think you can do?

Original poster

fairyfart · 02/02/2011 22:26

What really upsets me is that he could have just asked me if I had been snooping on him, which I hadn't. Instead, he chose to presume me guilty and humiliate by making me a laughing joke on his wall.
Everyone he is 'friends' with will have read about his crazy paranoid wife now.
God I just feel so stupid.

OP posts:

robberbutton · 02/02/2011 22:31

fairyfart, I didn't mean to sound confrontational, like you could have done anything about it or that it is your fault. I meant what are you going to do to protect you, to make things better for you. Because it sounds like your H is not good for you at all, and is actually quite damaging :(

AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 22:31

never mind what "everyone else" thinks

tbh, if he is as bad as you said (and I believe you that he is) then they will already be aware he is a twat of he highest order

could you have a chat wih a close friend/family member and see what their take is on the whole situation (not just the FB...don't get too fixated on that alone)

this is a very bad home to bring children up in...and a damaging situation for all concerned

traceybath · 02/02/2011 22:32

I'd have thought he was a dick if I'd read that on his wall.

But thats the least of your worries really - do you love him? Do you want to be with him and have him as a role model for how to conduct a relationship for your children?

MummieHunnie · 02/02/2011 22:34

I would focus on where you are going with him for now, and when you have dealt with that, get rid of the people who liked that comment from your life!

Original poster

fairyfart · 02/02/2011 22:48

It's easy to say that other people will think he is a Dick for posting what he did, but, obviously some did like his comments.
To others he is easygoing, charming, a generally all round 'nice bloke'.
Other people will not beieve me, the crazy stalking wife who is obviously losing her mind.

OP posts:

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