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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

come and tell me my H is being a nob.

59 replies

nickschick · 01/02/2011 21:34

Theres always some drama going on here Sad.

Ds2 aged 15 has a gf and her Mum has just died last week.

Im trying to be supportive to ds but hes just being plain nasty with regards to the fact I also lost my mum when I was 11.

H is being a nob anyway various things hes hardly working etc etc but he has in the past continually 'chosen' ds2 over his other ds,ds1 aged 17 sees this and resents it ds3 is just laid back so hes not bothered and ds1 does lots of stuff with him.

Anyway just lately H and ds2 have started having this perivate joke thing texting each other and all sorts and its daft but i feel v left out.

its spiteful.

and h is the driver and has took to just lately driving ds2 everywhere whilst everyone else walks.

im pissed off and could rant more but if i start i may not stop grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

OP posts:
kayah · 01/02/2011 21:41

why is it you against them?

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 21:42

Because thats the way H has made it Sad.

Ds1 used to have rules and expected behaviour ds2 gets away with everything bcos his H laughs and says 'hes just like me'.

OP posts:
compo · 01/02/2011 21:43

Your dh sounds like a twat

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 21:44

He hasnt always been tho compo its just lately hes using ds2 as a 'buddy'.

OP posts:
kayah · 01/02/2011 21:47

I have never been in such situation but I guess it must be impossible to follow your rules if dh makes his own rules

is he completely unreasonable about being the same father to all 3 boys?

HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/02/2011 21:48

Are you unhappy enough to take a stand and say NO! You will not treat me like this any more?

ImFab · 01/02/2011 21:49

Your husband is a nob.

I am sure I have read you post about him like this before, if not there is another poor MN with a knob head for a husband.

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 21:49

Yes he treats ds2 so differently everyone has noticed even my friends notice in fact 2 of them over the past year have done the 'i dont want to upset you but.....' chat about the favourtism Sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 21:50

Hecate I try but its nasty Sad.

He says Im the one with a problem.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/02/2011 21:51

And if you left?

HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/02/2011 21:51

Because I've read your threads and nothing you describe, describes a man who loves you.

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 21:53

I have nowhere to go and he knows that Sad.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/02/2011 21:57

Nowhere?

There are places you can go and organisations who can help you. You do not need to be being physically beaten to contact, for example, womens aid. For advice and information.

It's awful if the only thing keeping you - and your poor kids - in a situation that is making you miserable, is that you feel you have nowhere else in the world to go.

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 21:58

Sometimes it can be ok sometimes even nice but when he gets the 'mood' on him this is how it is .... im a moany cow lol.

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 01/02/2011 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 01/02/2011 22:08

oh, you poor woman, your husband really is a prize cock

look, if your RL friends are taking you to one side, you do realise it must be very, very noticeable how badly you are being treated

please contact WA...you are all being emotionally mistreated, even the favoured son is being done no favours Sad

tell your family...ell your friends...make it real and stop pretending everything is fine

it is not fine

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 22:09

Well ds2 was saying about it being her last xmas with her mum and i trying to be reassuring said that although she was very sad now when she looks back the last christmas will be a lovely memory as I clearly remembere my last christmas with my mum and it was lovely - oh yeah thats right its all about you isnt it he shouted.

Well if i want to go anywhere he will moan and say oh fuel is so expensive yet ds2 says i want to go xyz and hes out there in the car ready to drive him even if its a v short distance.

He did drive ds1 to and from a party on Saturday but thats been thrown up every evening since to a point where ds1 wont even ask him again and he will watch me walk to and from the supermarket with shopping and not offer to drive or collect me,.

Im nitpicking I know - lots of women walk but if we were economising as a whole itd be ok but its selective economising iyswim?

OP posts:
Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 22:10

I know its not fine Any fucker- its not always this bad its just built up for me over the weekend so I thought to myself ill go and depress everyone on mumsnet Grin.

OP posts:
Hassled · 01/02/2011 22:14

He drives DS2 places while the rest of you walk? He lets you walk back from the supermarket when he could pick you up? That's seriously fucked up. And presumably it's making the boys hate each other, which isn't good. Yes, he's being a nob and if your DH can't see that then there's little hope. Hecate speaks sense - there are always places you can go.

ImFab · 01/02/2011 22:15

My heart sinks when threads start like this and after very few posts the OP starts defending the husband or putting herself down.

Your OH should ADD to your life, not being anything negative.

ImFab · 01/02/2011 22:16

being bring

freudian slip there I think.

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 22:18

lol- im not a downtrodden wife or anything and i do try and stick up for myself im just feeling a bit down

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/02/2011 22:19

nick...he is going to turn your sons against each other

such overt favouritism is very damaging, to all the dc concerned (speaks from bitter experience)

Original poster
nickschick · 01/02/2011 22:21

I know Sad.

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 01/02/2011 22:22

You're not nitpicking and you also have somewhere to stay. with me. he's a nobber mate and you are being abused :( like it or not u gotta face up to it. you are worth A LOT more than this. x