shall i marry him after him breaking my heart last time??

[sweetchecks]

Wow were do i start telling use?

Was with my Partner who is 8 years older than me. We was fine everything was great. Untill his ex discoverd she was pregnant. She inboxed me on fb and told me the baby was concived while, i was with my Partner. I forgave him, then a couple of months later the proposed and i said yes.

We was paying off stuff had things booked, everything was fine, he moved in with me and then one day he woke up an decided its not what he wanted and left.

We hadnt spoken for 3 months then we got back in contact. He explained that never wanted to leave he just wanted to do what was rite for his baby (with his ex). Them 2 got back together, didnt last long as they have broke up after 2 months.

On new year's eve i ended up in hospital and he came with me. a few days later he asked for me back and i said yes, he proposed again on Saturday just gone, i also said yes but i didnt think he wanted to start paying off stuff again.

I dont know wether to start paying off things again or have a very long engagement??

He has also asked me for a baby, i have a 2 year old and his baby isnt born yet, his ex still has 8 weeks left. i dont know what to do about that either.

Dont get me wrong i do love this lad more than any man in the world lol.

put aside the cheating he is a lovly lad and will do anything for you. I do honestly believe he has changed this time but i still have that doubt in my head more on the marriage than anything else.

Any advise on what i should do would be great thanks.

What you should do??

Run. Run like the wind.

What you will do?

Stay and let him keep treating you like a mug.

Hell no.

Why did you accept his proposal?. Is this man all you think you deserve?

I would run a mile personally and leave him and his ex to it. He will play and continue the pair of you like violins because both of you are foolish enough to let him.

I'd be running in the opposite direction too. Prob not what youre wanting to hear but he's a loser with a capital 'L'.

Get rid.

At the very least, don't marry him. You sound like the stable one who's already looking after a little one. Be a good example for him/her - don't accept less than the very best for both of you.

His behaviour is very unstable. Get out now, before his presence in your DCs life becomes a semi-permanent one. I can't see it being permanent.

There's miles to go yet, just wait til he sees the baby and then comes and goes from there. He's clearly using you as his stability while he fannies about with the OW and his new baby. He can't have it all his own way.

Please don't marry him or even consider having a baby with this man. He sounds totally immature and unreliable. Now he knows he'll be forgiven he will just keep putting you through it.

Run, and consider it a lucky escape.

He doesn't sound great does he? If you won't dump him (and I suspect you won't) at least slow things right down. And don't even think of having a baby with him for a few years.

Right, so he has

• cheated on you with his ex
• created a baby from said cheating
• left you for ex
• proposed after a matter of days back together
• asked you to bear his child after a matter of days back together

Just ask yourself how this would look on the Jeremy Kyle show because if you don't opt out, this is where this is heading.

You can do much much better.

We have been back together for 3 weeks was together 4 agers the time before that.

Summer next year he wants to get married dont think it is the best idea though.

Suppose you could say am stupid and in love. Thats what my family say about me and him.

I am only young my self i have the rest of my life ahead of me, dont think i am ready for another baby yet anyway.

I am still not 100% over the fact he cheated in the first place, and that he is going to be a dad threw that.

He walked out once he can do it again, I think its best if I wait a few year's till I know were solid for both :)

If your 2 year old isn't his, I would say please please don't get attached to this man in any way, baby or ring. I hope people CAN change, but he needs to show you so much more first. Starting a relationship with niggling doubts (or screaming ones!) is never the way to go.

Please don't marry this man and don't even contemplate having his baby. He doesn't respect you enough to be faithful. Nor does he care enough to practice safe sex when he is cheating on you.

He sounds like a nightmare, and a health hazard to boot.

I'd bet my eye teeth that you can do better.

Well they do say that love is blind. I would listen to your family; their opinion is often instructive even though you may not want to hear it.

How old are you as well?. Late teens/early 20s?. Concentrate on your own self and your child and build a good life for yourselves. You don't need this man in it flitting in and out when he feels like it. And he wants you to have another baby?!. What planet is he on?.

I would still urge you to run in the opposite direction and leave him and his ex to it. You're both being played and both of you are allowing him to do this which is sad really.

Don't let him move in. Have a very long engagement, don't plan anything.

to be honest

have thought about leaving him, becauseit will just be me who gets hurt again.

I agree with poster who said wait and see how he treats the OW and their child, it will be an indication as to how things could go with you.

Though I would still want to run in the opposite direction.

"have thought about leaving him, because it will just be me who gets hurt again".

Don't just think it, just walk away because you will just end up getting hurt all over again.

And you don't want to end up on the Jeremy Kyle show either because he will make mincemeat of you!!.

Lol, Everyone is saying i should do a runner, I agree to be honest, because i know he will do the same again.

cant help how i feel though and like i said i do think he has changed. Or is that just me telling my self he has??

i am not marrying him or having kids with him YET but i also need to give him that 2nd chance so i dont ever have to feel like i have to ask my self the question 'what if'

he is a nob, if you marry him you are a nob too

No matter how bad my life got i wouldnt go on Jeremy Kyle lol

I think the only 'what if' questions you need to ask are

What if i stay with him and he cheats again?
What if he gets someone else pregnant?
What if he gives me a STI from not practicing safe sex?
What if i let him keep treating me like this and my DD grows up thinking that this is what a healthy relationship is?

It REALLY IS YOU TELLING IS YOU TELLING YOURSELF HE HAS CHANGED.

He is an idiot of the highest order and always will be !

"I cant help how i feel though and like i said i do think he has changed. Or is that just me telling my self he has??

No you can't help how you feel, people don't readily change their ways as adults. You try just changing one of your behaviours and see how difficult that is. I think you are telling yourself he has changed to make yourself feel better.

"i am not marrying him or having kids with him YET"

Take "yet" and replace it with the word "ever". That sounds a lot better!.

"but i also need to give him that 2nd chance so i dont ever have to feel like i have to ask my self the question 'what if'"

Has he given you such consideration - NO and he's cheated with the result that his other lady is going to soon have his child. How many chances are you prepared to give this waste of space because that is what he really is. How is he going to support his other lady's child; is he working?.

Bloody playing "what if" is a waste of time but here are some what ifs for you.
What if you're wrong?
What if he cheats again, you took him back last time?
What if he gets you pg and then heads back to the OW?.

Bloody what if games are a waste of your time. Look at actions,

where is he living?