How do you start the 'we need to talk' conversation?

[lastresort]

Every time I try to start this conversation with DH I just get a big lump in my throat and bottle it.
Any advice?

Well, what sort of conversation do you want to have? Have you binned his favourite T-shirt or had a fling with his brother? What I mean is - how serious is this!

I had a bottle of wine first!

The kind of conversation where you either go to bed together and live happily ever after, or the one where you end up sleeping on settee and go to solicitors first thing in morning.

Basically, the neither of us is really happy atm, so are you shagging about behind my back or what conversation. Even though I know the chances of me getting honest answer are nil.

I'd say you need to do it quickly and planned...before it comes blurted out in some heated argument and you say it in a way you'd regret

hmmm.... am just on the verge of this myself I feel. But I know exactly what you mean, it's that fear of really tipping it over the edge. Just not sure I can do it to my girls, however much it might be the best thing for me and him :(
Think I'm being a wimp and I keep trying to goad him into starting 'the end'.

Anybody here used Relate and would recommend it? I'm so rubbish at talking/arguments/confrontations that he seems to come out on top whatever is said and I never manage to say what is really on my mind because i've forgotten . wonder if Relate would help or again just be the start of the end - is it better to just muddle through?

@ MW10 - I found Relate didn't work although it did help me and my Ex start to negotiate our split.

@LR - Just tell him you need to talk and talk properly. Brook no hesitation, and just come out with it.
Maybe have a practice first - write down some bullet points so you don't get sidetracked.
Sounds like too serious a conversation to screw up.
Hope it ends up in bed :o

Too late...I bottled it again. Think like Missworld I feel afraid to in case it tips things over the edge. It is safer to just muddle through, but it just means we both drift and resolve nothing.
Guess it takes guts to have these talks and atm I am sadly lacking.