What to do when there's love but no lust at all

[AQuietLife]

New here and a bit nervous. Been with DH for 15 years, 3 DCs, everything ticking along okay apart from the fact that I don't find him attractive at all any more. It sounds so nasty and shallow, but that's how it is. Can a marriage ever work with this elephant in the room? There was a thread on here over Christmas re. Do you still fancy your husband, and I was stunned by how many of you really completely do. Happy for you guys, obviously, but v. sad for me and DH. Obviously our sex life is pretty crap. Is there any hope?

Malaise: whatever lust might have been in your relationship at the beginning has been ground out of it by your H's behaviour. Nothing is more unerotic than being pestered for sex by someone who uses every trick in the book (except the ones that might work, like treating you with kindness, courtesy and respect, or maybe even doing something like his fair share of the domestic work) to force you into lying back with your legs open so he can despunk.
Stop thinking that there must be something wrong with you. No one wants sex under the circumstances you describe, unless they have no self-esteem whatsoever.

at despunk

Oh, I have been there... it's a lonely place to be