Small background: H left me in December 2009 when i was 37 weeks pg with dc4. I have since been alone, managing dc well, and have big network of support, fabulous parents (live in France now though) and lots of great friends.
I have been quite independant, finding myself. Anyway, have discovered this weekend he is starting to date someone. This is the first time since we've been apart. I live in a very small town and i'm aware of who she is. She is friends with my best friend, and works with another close friend.
It hurts. It also hurts he is telling me he loves me still, touching someone else would turn his stomach, he doesn't know what he's doing really but doesn't want to sit alone every weeknight in his flat.
I thought i was fine, i have felt ready to date but haven't yet. It's really hit me, I don't know what to do. I recognise i can't be with him, I'm not jealous of her, I'm settled here and in my life in general. I miss male company and sex tbh, but that's the only things i don't have.
He is a very good father and i know they won't be affected by this. Therefore it doesn't affect my life, but it hurts. I think about him fancying her more than me, i don't know why, it's pathetic.
I guess i need to get this out, talk about it, find ways to manage it until i'm normal again.