I need help

[JustFlatMates]

I have been with my OH for 10 years and things have gone down hill recently. Last night we talked and he told me that he feels like we are just flatmates and he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in this relationship for convenience.

What does that means - flatmates? What can I do to get the spark back in our relationship? He told me he loves me but is not IN love with me. I need to get that back. We have decided to give things a few weeks and then make a decision but if things don't make a dramatic improvement its the end :( Can anyone help me. FYI things in the bedroom department have been missing for almost a year.

Sorry, it must have been very hard for you to have heard that.

You are obviously desperate to make things work.

Why have things in the bedroom been missing for a year? Does that mean no sex at all? How about any intimacy?

Sorry to hear this JFM......Can he clarify what he thinks is missing exactly (apart from the sexual side of things which is usually a symptom of bigger issues)?

Is he willing to TRY and work on the relationship to build it back up again from "just flat mates" to romantic again?

Has he got unreasonable expectations of a long term relationship, for example when the spark goes it means it's over instead of a deeper kind of love growing?

Is he willing to go Relate?

Big Hugs x

SR - It was hard to here but its not like I didn't know something was wrong :( I think the main issues in the bedroom are me. I am quite overweight and therefore don't feel comfortable with my body. I have start losing weight and going to the gym and I am starting to feel better about things. We has sex on Thursday night but before then it was April! We cuddle and I get a goodnight kiss but it almost felt like he was doing those things to prevent an arguement.

LSS - He isn't a big talker so I didn't get much more out of him. I think sex and intimacy is obviously a big part of that. He says that he is lonely and I guess that is what I need to work on. He is willing to try but we have put a deadline on it of 3-4 weeks. I think if he can see an improvement and can see the potential after this time period it will be ok and we can keep working on it. He won't go to relate :(

Sorry for all the typos. I am trying to type quickly before he comes home.