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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did my husband cheat on me?

117 replies

TinyAK · 13/01/2011 02:11

I've just returned home from a 2 week holiday without my husband. When logging into my facebook account yesterday evening on my husband's laptop another person's email address popped up in the login box. I'd never heard this person's name before so I asked my husband who he/she was (the name could be a female or male). He said he didn't know this person. I asked him if anybody had been in our house when I was away and he said no. He said that it must be some kind of spam so I dropped the issue.

The thing is when I first came home I had this weird sense that somebody had been there, also there was a pile of my clothes for ironing that had been very neatly folded in the spare room. In nearly six years of marriage my husband has never ever folded my clothes like that.

Would really appreciate some advice especially on the facebook part.

Thanks!

OP posts:
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 04:53

What I don't understand is, if this email address if used for FB, then why doesn't it come up when you do a search?

TinyAK · 13/01/2011 05:01

I know. It doesn't make sense. What I did forget to mention was that there were actually two addresses - very similar. The first address was just the person's name with @hotmail.com and the second one included the number. Neither addresses come up under a facebook search.

OP posts:
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 05:02

Is the first name a unisex name?

TinyAK · 13/01/2011 05:25

The names were the same - the second email address has the numbers "79" at the end of the name.

OP posts:
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 05:35

No, I meant "first" as in "Christian".

TinyAK · 13/01/2011 05:39

Yes, sorry - it's a unisex name.

OP posts:
MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 05:44

Do you think your DH has another FB profile?

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2011 07:28

So if there are two addresses that implies to me that the person that typed them is looking for someone and unsure of the email address.

Is it usual for him to delete his browsing history do you think as that seems a bit coincidental also doesn't it? Sorry.

Although having said that this isn't clear cut to me. Yes, it sounds like someone has been there because of the clothes, but the email address is a hard one to figure out.

MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 07:32

I guess it's possible that the owner of the email addresses has blocked you on FB? That way you would not be able to search for them. Maybe ask someone else to search for them from another FB account, using the email addresses?

RealityIsShaggingWithIntent · 13/01/2011 07:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CabbagefromaBaby · 13/01/2011 07:44

If I found folded clothes my first thought would be my mother!

But she doesn't use facebook...and I guess you'd know your mum's email address.

I hope you find out what's going on and it isn't a bad thing.

MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 07:49

You don't think he got in a cleaner whilst you were away, do you? Might be a long shot, but if the house was a tip after you being away for 2 weeks, he might have employed someone to come in and clean it. And cleaners (in my experience) always check their emails and FB...

Heroine · 13/01/2011 08:14

you could try typing in the same e-mail address into rfacebook (not copying and pasting) and see if the password pops up - on mine if you see a mail address in the search box - delete the last letter and then type it in again, the password comes uop if its stored.

emmyloulou · 13/01/2011 08:59

The account will not show if it's unsearchable...........or if they have blocked you.........

Someone has logged into fb from that pc using that address, no virus randomly stores logins, he is lying. But why?

DollyPantsJollyPants · 13/01/2011 09:08

Ok this is the easiest way to restore the deleted files

Restore the pc to an earlier date this will restore all the browser history and registry settings

So hopefully you will have a date that falls somewhere in the time you were away

If this doesnt show you what you are after then you can do this

Search your C drive for 'index.dat'
There will be lots. These files are kept by windows and not deleted when you delete from your browser. You may have to click on search windows files, history files & folders and sunflowers

These are not text files you can't read them without a tool
Go to google and search for 'index.dat reader
Download but check for viruses
Now you have access to the histories

DollyPantsJollyPants · 13/01/2011 09:09

*subfolders not sunflowers!

JustForThisOne · 13/01/2011 09:09

dear me
you go on holiday for 2 weeks on your own come back home and get paranoid cause some clothing are neatly folded?
maybe next time you are away you should have a fling yourself and come back home more relaxed Smile

snares · 13/01/2011 09:17

simples. he's created a special facebook account so he can have cyber sex. nothing wrong with that. women don't generally come round to a married persons house, shag, then fold the ironing, unless they're a complete nutcase. he's just cyber-shagging. you need to stimulate your sex life because he's obviously getting bored.

TheGrumpalo · 13/01/2011 09:17

I don't think the clothes being folded is the main issue here. It's the fact that another log in has been used.

daretodream · 13/01/2011 09:18

bump

MommyMayhem · 13/01/2011 09:25

So how do you explain the folded clothes then, snares?

snares · 13/01/2011 09:31

he probably feels a bit guilty and sheepish and hence 'doing chores'. try leaving out your entire dirty washing and go away for a couple of days. if he is cyber shagging. then at least your getting all your washing done. its a good deal!

claireybear82 · 13/01/2011 09:33

i agree that a virus wouldnt do that. someones definately tried to log in from that computer. also if the person has blocked you then nothing will come up for the email search and you wouldnt be able to see them as a friend on ur dh's friends list. get someone else to search the email addy from their facebook account.

also - do you have any neighbours who are friends that you could ask if they saw anyone coming in or out of the house? i reckon most people wouldnt mention it but if directly asked them would tell you

claireybear82 · 13/01/2011 09:34

i agree that a virus wouldnt do that. someones definately tried to log in from that computer. also if the person has blocked you then nothing will come up for the email search and you wouldnt be able to see them as a friend on ur dh's friends list. get someone else to search the email addy from their facebook account.

also - do you have any neighbours who are friends that you could ask if they saw anyone coming in or out of the house? i reckon most people wouldnt mention it but if directly asked them would tell you

Chandon · 13/01/2011 09:35

but surely nobody would go into someone's hopuse, shag teh husband and then think: "Oh, I'd better fold the wife's clothes"?!

maybe the unknown e-mail address is an alter ego of your DH (I found out my DH calls himself by a different name on some accounts, like when they want to post somewhere without being recognised, a bit like we do on here).

To e clothes folding points more to a mum than a lover.

How do you feel about MIL???? Do you get on with her?