Fitting in, or not.

[IAmReallyFabNow]

I have had a good clean and tidy up in the kitchen today in between making bread, rich tea biscuits, chocolate muffins and a roast dinner. Having just been looking for somewhere to put a pile of stuff that I need to sort it dawned on me that it is representative of me feeling I have no place in this house, family, world.

I could hazard a guess at why I feel like this but I just feel sad that I have felt it at this moment, even though I have probably always felt it.

had not has

my keyboard is dying

IamFab - doing necessary and unnecessary things for your dear folks is one really good way of expressing your affection...... one of the main ways for me so we are similar.

Count me in on the muffin party.

fab seems a lovely person, and so do you, TD

< ahem > wine has been consumed

Oh no AF. Could you treat yourself to a nice new shiny one?

TDada - . You remind me of someone, or maybe I just want you to be them .

AF- thanks....I am not too bad ...you are one of my MN heroes

fab...no, I am skint

this laptop is all I have in the world....

I lie, but no, cannot justify a new laptop when there is a desktop and a notebook that are in perfect working order in the house

this my laptop though, and it is imperfect, just like me

I will just have to continue banging the t key into oblivion, every time I use it

t

t

t

AF - What laptop do you have? you can cannibalise my Dell keyboard if you have a Dell Notebook. I think MN HQ would send you a laptop if you ever disappeared from cyberspace

< squints at laptop >

I have a Dell Latitude D610

I think it is fucked, tbh

it is very old, and very used

AF- I have an old Dell Inspiron that no but new keyboard. Wonder if they are compatible? I could find out if you like.

IAMFab - haven't bumped into any RL friends on MN yet...hmmm

oh yes, find out, TD

AF, is your F key still holding up? That could be the deal breaker...

FAB you are FAB, and you can be rushed off your feet but still be bored. Are you fulfilled, happy etc? You might need to free up a little time and do more spontaneous stuff!

my F key is getting a little sticky...

Fab - the name your kids are born under means nothing. Your kids are YOURS!! They are part of you. I'll eat my arm if they don't assume that you belong and have an irreplaceably valuable part in their lives.

Your mum and dad may not have wanted you but your family now does.

FWIW I haven't gotten on well with my dad for years (he annoys me just by being him, nothing horrible or abusive, quite a good man actually but still). There were times I know he (and I if I'm honest) doubted that I loved him. But last week I thought I might have lost him and it's completely made me realise how important he is and, actually, how much I do love him. I'm sure you have more evidence than he did that his family love him, and I can tell you the thought of losing him was really really painful.

Don't underestimate how important you are to your family.

I guess yiur A and F keys are fooked AF?

T

A

F

S

keys are fooked

is that significant ?

T

W

A

T

&

F

F

S

All adds up....

pmsl

I didn't choose which of my keys will give up the ghost !

although it might be that they were the most-used ones !

< ahem >

it is taking me twice as long to post as I have to go back and bash out all the t, s, a and f inserts !

my quick mind is geting frustrated !

Surely not just me that has a mental image of our heroine AF hunched over her screen with a laaarge G&T at her side bashing away like a bastard furiously, steam rising off the keyboard, keys flying

Argh! ... T - W - A - T!

Sweepstake on the C and K letters to join with the rest of the letters that form Fuckwit?

Hi Fab

I get you with the feeling of not having a place in the family. All my kids had their own rooms, DH had a lovely study all to himself and the kitchen was my only space but everybody felt they could come and bake and chat and invade me. I had nowhere for my stuff. I was being squeezed out of my own home.

Now I live down the road in my own house with space for me, which is weird and sad but they don't seem to miss me very much.

Claim a corner for you!

Hi everyone, I had a rally difficult morning with dc3 to the point that I had to go and ask a neighbour and friend to help me . She got him in the car for me and he went in to school happy while I walked back to the car trying not to cry.

I have had a mad busy morning but have achieved loads so feel happy. I am about to have lunch and then go do my volunteering bit at school.

Thank you all for being so lovely and kind.

TDada - if you really are dad of a T I might know you .

OK I get the volunteering, very nice and good of you, but it's not something you are doing FOR YOU!

Please FAB, take some time, an afternoon, an hour even and make it YOURS exclusively.

I think you need to be a smidge more selfish!