The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into 2011!

[Mouseface]

Hello and a Happy New Year!

I'm Mouse, one of the passengers on this wonderful journey to sobriety!

We are a real mixed bunch of people, all trying to control or give up the booze - ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Come meet the others.........

And here are the previous threads, the journeys so far

Thanks Venus, just watched the 20 minute presentation on vulnerability, thanks for sharing it. It's something I will watch a few times I am sure as it struck chord (or five).

a chord

Happy new year to all.

Not around much at the moment because I am now on paternity leave! Daughter born healthy on 2 January after a tough labour.

And I DID NOT DRINK.

Says it all.

Good luck to all in 2011, will be around when I can.

S

MIFLAW and Mrs MILFLAW

CONGRATULATIONS [GRIN] !!!

What a wonderful start to the New Year.
I hope DW is recovering well.

Have a fantastic time together, and thank you for everything.

xxxxx

Fabby news. Congrats to you and Mrs Miflaw!

Dear Babes,

forgive me for the coming self indulgence, but I have no-one else to talk to at the moment.

I think I have mentioned in the past that DH has recurring depressive episodes, always about work (we have thrashed that one out often enough!), and he recovers, but they have been happening more frequently in the past few years.

I have sensed something was up, but because of previous occasions, he has promised me that he would talk, as soon as he started to feel that feeling of not being able to cope.

Well, to no avail, this morning, we have been awake since 3, trying to talk through a board decision that he has to make. Not a good time for clear thinking in anyones book.

He has been crying, and went to work at 6.30 very tearful . I sent him an email to read first thing, and he has replied to say that it has helped, but I just feel sick.

So hard, especially as DC1 is home, and is the sort to pick up on it all. I really don't want to talk to Dc about it agin, as I had to last year, and it's not something I want them to have to confront in a serious way at their ages.

I did say that Dh should go to the Dr's again, but last time he came off the anti-depressants after only a couple of weeks, without telling me. I made him go back on them again, but he has stopped again now.

So sorry for the big offload, no-one need reply, but it has helped to get it out (whoops, bit tearful myself now).

Dc1 and I are going out to spend Christmas money today, and I have booked very smart and trendy restaurant for lunch, so will go and shower, and put lots of slap on my brave face

Thanks xxxx

P.s a lot of what I have said to him this morning, is from the wisdom of all on here, take 10 minutes at a time, do a kindness to soe-one else, don't project... so thank you agin xxxx

Thank the Lord that I haven't been drinking! What would this be like with a hangover.

some-one else!
thank you again!

Pps. Just thought that maybe all that wasn't appropriate for this thread, but this is the only one I have ever been on, if that's o.k.

Hi thurso of course it's fine to put it here - sharing how you are feeling is just one thing in the armoury of staying sober, and in any case it feels as though we're supporting each other on here in many other ways than just encouragement to not drink.

I read recently that 3am is about the worst time to be awake and thinking about stuff 'cos all the natural hormones that help us to feel good and take logical decisions are at their most switched off (to enable us to sleep) and so we will often feel at our most bleak then. I will try to find a link to the article if it would help your dh to understand why he was feeling so crap at that time.

However, I would really encourage him to go to the GP (could you go along with him?). If anti-depressants are what he needs then he should be getting them. Did he tell you why he stopped before? Was it a 'theoretical' aversion to taking something instead of just 'pulling himself together' or did he not like the physical effects?

Anyway you brave woman, you have a wonderful lunch, smile through your tears and shop like a demon!

Thurso - if your DH has suddenly stopped his antidepressants, that will undoubtedly make him feel terrible. I have done the very same thing a few times and it leaves you feeling even worse than when you first started taking them.

You are right that he needs to go back to his GP - perhaps the current medication or even just the dosage isn't right for your DH but it is definitely something that can be sorted out.

I've learned to accept that (for now) I need my antidepressants as I am lacking certain chemicals in my brain and that without them, I feel depressed. Sometimes there's a feeling of failure or worry for a stigma attatched when you take antidepressants which is why there's sometimes a desire to come off them (which is what I suspect your DH has done) but it doesn't help in the long run.

You sound very supportive, understanding and caring which is also a great help to anyone feeling depressed - just keep on listening and if you can,persuade him to go back to this GP

Congratulations MIFLAW!

Feel great for not having given in last night, just about to head for the gym (not looking forward to that, worried I might pass out, I'm so unfit!

worry of a

Morning all,

MIFLAW - congratulations!!

Too many posts to reply to you all but a big hello to everyone.

It's my birthday today - as I have been drinking on and off recently it will be a bit of a test. Hey ho!

Happy Birthday moomin have a great day x

Thank you Venus and Chuss,

Yes, Dh comes off the ad's because he doesn't like the side effects- very early almost comatose sleep, and diminishing sex drive (as if I'm thinking about that!), and also because he has got this thing about he should be able to cope on his own. All my words to the effect that it's an illness, not a state of mind don't seem to register, especially when he's feeling bad, vicious circle.

I go to the Gp with him every time, although I aways ask first if he would like me to wait outside, in case he wants to talk about me. But, he always wants me to be there, and so I am.

Dc just got out of the shower, so have to go now, I'm buying you all virtual presents and sending them with love today, you are such good friends.
Thanks xx

Happy Birtthday red, you baby, you

Happy Birthday Red
Congrats Mr & Mrs Miflaw on the birth of your baby daughter
Thurso, you have done what you can today for your husband, now take the time for yourself today and shop till you drop

Congratulations on your new arrival Mr & Mrs MIFLAW

Happy Birthday Red anything planned for later

Thurso of course you should come on here for support on drinking and anything else going on in your life - I know I do. A very close friend of mine has suffered from depression on and off for years and he has avoided any bad episodes for a long long time by simply accepting that he needs to take the ad's whether he is feeling low or on top of the world. Is there a slightly different tablet maybe that won't have the same side affects? although I know it can be difficult to change to different ones. He is very lucky to have your support, would he let you 'give out' the ad's do you think or would he resent that, I know some people (inc me) would but at least you would know he had had them. Hope you are both OK today and enjoy your shopping

Thank you for all the birthday wishes. Nothing planned for tonight but going out for a meal tomorrow with BF so I am really looking forward to that. Bizarrely it will be the first time we have gone out for dinner together!

thurso I hope that you have a great day, you deserve it!

Sounds like heaven IsInDe:)
Am back to work today and it actually feels good to get back into some sort of routine , Day 6 for me today!

Have been catching up with the thread.

MIFLAW AND Mrs MIFLAW Congratulations - lovely news.

Thurso Hope that DH is OK at work and can find a way to tackle the difficult decisions his role requires. Have a lovely day with DC.

JWN How are you today?

Everyone - Happy New Year. Postings seem very positive. Today I will not be drinking so will enjoy a peaceful and calm evening and have a clear head in the morning. Hope that the Brave Babes on the Bus and following might have the same experience.

Right everyone I have realised I need a big kick up the ar*e. Realised I have been mooching around, drinking, feeling sorry for myself far too much these last few days. It's not even as though I was in a relationship with the neighbour, am pretty sure he is back with his XP and I need to pick myself up now, dust myself down and move on. Any tips on how to do it

Zany sounds like you have already taken the first step. What would you like to do for you - nothing major, something simple - my aim, for what it's worth, is to moisturise my skin each day! I always seem to be in too much of a rush just to do this 2 min job - but I have made it a priority and feel better for doing it.

OK zany - tell us seriously, what do you actually WANT to achieve? Not what you half heartedly hope for, but what you are actually committed to doing.

Yesterday morning you posted that you were "hoping" to achieve day 1, and you suggested that you might buy some non-alcoholic beer. but by 6.30pm you were already 3 drinks down - and I guess it wasn't non-alcoholic beer (sorry if that all sounds rather stalkerish).

I am saying all this because I think I have been where you are now - making some promises to be 'better' (at whatever), hoping that just by making some wishes things will turn out differently, meanwhile actually setting myself up for failure (because in my heart of hearts I didn't really want things to change), giving in to temptation, feeling crap about myself and full of self pity because I can't even keep the promises I made to myself.

Of course that happens to all of us some of the time - and we pick ourselves up and get back on with things, but I'm talking here about the destructive, repetitive cycle. Making the same promises every morning. Not actually doing anything that is different, but still hoping it will turn out differently anyway. Feeling crap about ourselves because we're 'failures' yet repeatedly and deliberately doing things that help us to 'fail'.

So zany if you recognise any of that, do you WANT to break out of that cycle? Do you really want to accept that your habits about drinking will have to change? If you do then what positive actions will you take now, today, to make something different? Will you go and buy some non-alcoholic beer? Will you get rid of other alcohol in your house so you have no alternatives to the new beer? Will you talk to someone in rel life about your drinking? Would you consider support from AA?

You see, I fear that if you do not want to do any of the above, then tomorrow you will wake up feeling just as you did today. And the next day will probably be the same. That is not the end of the world, but if you are honestly not ready to try any of the above then the least you can do is to stop making false promises to yourself - at least you woun't feel bad about breaking them and that is one less thing to beat yourself up about.

PS - that's a pretty soft kick, I can kick harder if you want