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Should I be concerned?

38 replies

teahouse · 26/12/2010 19:14

Met a guy a few months ago. We're both single parents (me 10 years, him under 2) and we started dating - masses of very hot sex but we get on well too; although haven't done the meeting each other's kids yet.

He had planned to go on holiday over Christmas because he didn't want to be here without his kids. He went with a mate and it was booked a few weeks before Xmas. He's in his early 40s and this mate his mid-30s (I'm mid-40s).

Anyway, this guy texted me a couple of times to say he was having a great time and would call me Xmas day to hear my voice - but nothing and still nothing.

He's gone to Thailand and to some full moon party where there are lots of single people and it's full on heady stuff by all accounts.

Am I right to be concerned that he's met someone else? He could be ill (although would have texted unless dying), or could have lost his phone (he could have e-mailed)... pretty confused - thoughts?

OP posts:
welshbyrd · 02/01/2011 19:47

would love an update from OP, when she gets time please Smile

teahouse · 02/01/2011 20:52

We're meeting tomorrow to have lunch and see a film so I'll update you then Welshbyrd.

OP posts:
teahouse · 03/01/2011 11:06

Ok first update - he's changed the time we're meeting; only by half an hour and he does have a genuine excuse, but not a great start given we've not seen ech otehr for over 3 weeks.

OP posts:
PercyPigPie · 03/01/2011 11:26

Teahouse - you're not on the shelf - there's every possibility that you could meet someone just like you at work or somewhere else. Someone who would respect you. Not if you're tied up with this guy though. If you are feeling bad about yourself, please do not loose any more of your self respect to him.

thenightsky · 03/01/2011 11:34

It shouldn't be this stressy and hard work at this stage. I'd call it a day tbh.

I'd be wary about shagging a bloke who has just come back from that sort of single bloke holiday too.

poshsinglemum · 03/01/2011 13:32

I've been to a full moon party in Thailand and I had a snog but no sex. (did have a bf back in England but he wasn't great).

The guys on the other hand are spoilt for choice I'm afraid. Thai women/western men combo is notorious but just because he's going there on his hols dosn't mena that he's going to be shagging for Britain. It is possible to go to a party without shagging.

The not calling is a bit much though. I'd move on.

poshsinglemum · 03/01/2011 13:35

I carried on going out with my bf after Thailand btw. I had great fun out there but still loved him. I didn't cheta (unless you call a snog cheating)I must admit that the fun consisted of jungle treks and Thai cookery courses. there is a sleasy scene but he has texted you. Also it is a very cultural place. Mabe he's touring temples too etc.

I booked the hol before I met him. If he booked his hol before he met you then give him a chance.

teahouse · 03/01/2011 20:00

@PSM - he booked the holiday after he met me, but had been planning it before we meet.

@M&M - spent most of the past decade on the shelf; even have my very own spot ;o)

From what he has said, he went to a few gogo bars but mostly because he just wanted to see what they were like; looked but didn't touch!

We had a lovely afternoon - lunch, a film, and coffee. He told me about his hols and it sounds like he had a great time but missed his kids alot.

We're going to meet up again over the weekend - he'll cook for me Friday I hope and with luck I'll stay over for a couple of nights ;o)

I'm going to be sensible though and see this is for what it is - a nice 'not serious but not casual either' friendship/sort of relationship.

OP posts:
PercyPigPie · 03/01/2011 21:13

Good. Use a condom though (or rather, make sure he does).

AnotherMumOnHere · 06/01/2011 22:09

Well teahouse are you still communicating with your man in between times or are you both waiting till weekend for next contact? Sorry I'm just a nosey bitch. ROFL.

JessinAvalon · 06/01/2011 22:17

Sorry to be naive but what goes on in gogo bars in Thailand? If they are what I think they are, I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable about dating someone who went to places like that!

AnotherMumOnHere · 09/01/2011 22:41

Well teahouse did he make that nice meal for you on Friday evening.

Keep us updated on how things are going.

teahouse · 18/01/2011 18:20

Hi there,
Had a lovely meal made for me and we've been in touch a few times since.

I haven't seen his holiday photos but he has confesed to going to Bangkok's red light area for a look but he said the sex was pretty overt and not very sexy - said it has put him off a bit.

I trust he was sensible whilst he was away and all seems to be OK.

Hoping we'll meet up again this weekend

Thnaks for all the posts folks

OP posts:
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