and think that I'm going to finish with my man. I'm hoping that writing all this down will help me to see it for what it is, and make me know I'm making the right decision.
We haven't been seeing each other for very long - we met online, and it's been very intense and loved up, brilliant in fact.
However, the last few weeks have been... different. He went on holiday to South Africa a couple of weeks ago, and since his return, he's changed. Before he went on holiday, it was very full on - for both of us - he was arranging for me to meet his parents, we were discussing the future, and I missed him like crazy while he was away, even though we spoke a lot, I couldn't wait for him to come back.
He came to stay at mine for almost a week, went home on Xmas Eve as he's working all over Xmas, and the week we've had has been awful. I've felt completely emotionally overwrought, to be honest, insecure and needy, and we've had a couple of arguments because he was so distant and detached while he was here.
The night before Christmas Eve, I finally got to the bottom of what was bothering him. He's backed right off from the relationship, decided that it's too serious, too quickly, and that we need some space. Now that to me is code for 'I've changed my mind about you, but can't actually say so'...... right?
So after the last couple of days apart, I've woken up this morning knowing that I have to end it. Ultimately, I feel a bit taken in - that promises have been made, only to be taken back again a few weeks later, which I think is hurtful and cruel. And I can only see more of that on the horizon.
I'm right, aren't I?