husband and porn

[mummyworries]

he keeps looking at porn on the internet, behind my back of course! am i too sensitive when it comes to this as he said that all men do!!!! i hate it makes me feel like shit

Thank you WhenwillIfeelnormal, you seem to have a really good knowledge of this area, I can't compete or put my arguement over as well as you! but if I was half way as eloquent as you, you have said everything I should like to say myself.

The research can be found as a pdf doc on the ministy of justice's own website. All 107 pages of it! Some of the research that the REA covers are the same studies carried out by Malmuth, Donnerstien and Zillman that SBG has decided to discredit.

Graceawayinamanger says porn is mental infidelity. She may be correct. How different is it though to a woman (or man) fantasising about another person, real or imaginary, whilst masturbating?

Just that one has less of an imagination perhaps?

Wouldn't you be more concerned if your significant other was thinking about, say, a colleague when masturbating, instead of looking at a picture of a complete stranger?

I think Graceawayinamanger would say that fantasising about another person while masturbating is also a form of mental infidelity, and is harmful to a couple's relationhip just as looking at porn.

I would prefer my dp to do neither. I don't think I'd prefer porn to fantasizing about a colleague. Presumably your thinking is that the porn actress is not a real threat whereas the colleague is? Not really true, as the porn girl is faceless, and it's much easier to pick up a faceless girl in a club than to have an affair with the work colleague.

If it makes you feel like shit and he knows it then it's unacceptable.

If he doesn't know it then he is just doing what comes naturally to a vast number of the population (male and female)

Regardless of your thoughts on porn from any moral ground or otherwise, communication is the key. If my DP was doing something that upset me, we would talk over what can be done to stop it before it becomes an issue.
Both me and my DP have used porn on our own and together.

The only time it could cause you a problem is if you have a problem with it. Don't let something silly ruin a decent relationship.

If it's part of an abusive relationship then the porn is the least of your worries.

94% of on line porn is violent towards women - would anyone here be comfortable about looking at websites that called black people niggers or wogs, and yet all are comfortable with websites that call women bitches and sluts and worse. And that's before all the dble penetration stuff etc. Porn as it is now is just sexual sadism and just as girls are having the vaginas shaved to emulate the girls on porn and submitting to anal sex, you have to wonder what the boys are copying ... or could that be the reason for the 42% rise in rapes in London in the past year?

Hmm Im glad this thread has popped back up for certain reasons.....

I read something recently on here www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=12660

I found this quite thought provoking.....

Thoughts ?