What is your DH/DP like?

[Thistledew]

I was having a conversation with a friend earlier, who was bemoaning the fact that she cannot find a man who meets all her expectations. She wants someone who is ambitious, but likes them a bit 'jack the lad'. He must be gregarious, have a life of his own and not be clingy, but at the same time go out of his way to spoil her and make her feel special. She likes the 'alpha male' type, yet can't stand a man being in any way controlling, and does not want to do any of the running in the relationship.

I am beginning to wonder if such a creature exists?

I am lucky that I have a v lovely DP, who completely grounds me, and makes me feel very secure. He puts a lot of effort into making me happy. I know that when we have children he will be a wonderful father and be fully involved in running our family life, and that this will mean the happiest family life for me. I love him very much for this.

However, in the early stages of our relationship I did wonder if I was compromising a bit, as he is really not as outgoing, ambitious and 'alpha male' as the guys I had previously been attracted to.

So, what do you think? What are your DP's/DH's main character traits, and why are they important to your relationship?

I'm in the beta camp. DP is not ambitious. However he is handsome, has a fantastic body and suits me in bed. He is also intelligent and honest. He is a great dad, not a boaster or pretentious (traits I hate).

I'd like him to be more enthusiastic and impulsive, extravagant (sp) and romantic! But then these are my traits- and he'd probably irritate me if he was like that too...

LeQueen ! I know a guy just like this - not your dh though as my one is currently living in Taiwan. VP at Dell, he has played poker with Bill Gates, but he is from Sunderland and has NEVER left the lovely, local boy in him behind.

LeQ, this will freak you out

but I peeked at that pic on your profile

and you look like me, and DH looks like MrQ

except you have bigger boobs

oh no, not posting any pics

my hair used to be highlighted blonde but not now

I have it in the same style but these days I have dark reddish hair

I think DH is a bit heavier than MrQ too, but probably has a few good meals and boozeups years on him

I googled Dawn Barlow

I don't look like her, actually, so we must be either side of the doppelganger

I am tall and willowy, with a lack of curves so perhaps we are not that alike after all

facially and hair-wise though, there is a resemblance

I've put up a couple of piccies, for a short time only, not sure if I can bring myself to put one of me up though. The old one of DH is almost 21 years old, DD was a couple of days old.

I admit it, I'm a coward, I hate photos of myself, the one decent one I have is about 4 years old and I'm 2 stone heavier in it.

My hair (and DD's - bizarrely we dyed our hair within a day of each other) is dark red atm!

I need to stay anonymous

have you seen some of my posts ?

I would get the sack !

To me Alpha Male= arrogant and superficial.There is not much under the surface. I dont know why but thats how i have it in my head. Clothes, cars, house, wife, they all have to look good. They are perfectionists and care about image. They live a bit in the '80s.
I thought the term is used sarcastically, a bit like 'yummy mummy'.
Anyway i don't like them and they probably don't like me either (i'm a size 12-14 sometimes- and i think thats obese to them)

As for my dh i like the fact he is emotionally open and very warm. No silent treatments, no mind games, no mind reading (i had all that with my ex).

He is spontaneous and hates routine.

Ooh, Milif, your husband is similar looking to mine.

My DH is very sociable and gregarious, but also happy with his own company. Very bright, pretty intellectual (Oxbridge 1st) but from an ordinary background, not monied or privileged so is very grounded. Great dad. Have shared interests which is great- we can talk about the same books, music, films etc. Really into cooking and wine and knows his stuff. Best of all, sees me' as his equal, it would be totally alien for him to consider himself the 'boss' of the family, he takes my career as seriously as his own, and is man enough to cook, clean and did nappy changing etc when kids were small- it's no threat to his masculinity whatsoever. Can't imagine anything worse than a partner who saw himself as the family boss, and expected me to be some sort of domestic drudge