Wobbleing....My Father (ie: grandfather to be) is not happy with possible baby name!

[Highlandgirl]

Hi all,

Long story so my apologize in advanace.

DH and I really really love a 'certain' girls name. The name isn't important.

My father however has 'gotta' wind of this name and needless to say he's not best pleased, and has been slagging me and the name off to the whole sodding family. angry I've been told it's old fashioned and shouldn't be used as a first name. He said much worse when I spoke with him on the phone, but to be honest his rudeness isn't the problem. It's that I'm now starting to wobble over a name I've wanted since I'm been about 15.

I should also mention, the name in question is my middle name, my grandmothers middle name and my great-grandmother's first name. My father gave me this name so I don't understand the problem.

DH doesn't understand why I'm worried about what my father thinks, as 'you've never listened to your father, why start now'..grin

I'm now concerned about using this name...! Esp if baby arrives and it look nothing like 'the name'. First time Mum here and clearly over thinking things...shock However I don't wish to upset my father nor fall out with him as this is his first grandchild.

Any advance would be great.

Its your choice what you call the baby, i wouldn't take any notice, we have kept the same midle name in our family, i think its a great idea. Dont listen to what your dad say's, its not up to him.

When your dad had children, he had his opportunity to contribute to their names.

Your children, you (and DP) choose the names.

Don't discuss it any further with him, it suggests (by discussing it) that it's something to do with him. It isn't!

Well, your father is definitely having the effect he wanted on you... he has already succeeded in making you doubt. Now he just has to go on slagging it off for a bit longer, and you will give in and choose another one he likes more.

It is in your power to stop this cycle that, actually, many males use to make women change their minds.

If you both love it, use it. Be polite, nod and smile and go ahead and use it. Don't let his tantrum get to you. Unless the name is JimBob.

Wow that was quick...! Thank you Marne and MarinesMummy

'Don't discuss it any further with him, it suggests (by discussing it) that it's something to do with him. It isn't!'

Yes quite right!

We've had family say that they don't like our choice of names and it is hard and upsetting, but, at the end of the day the baby is ours.

Your DH is right - ignore your Dad and use the name you love.

What Marniesmummy said.

I would find his rudeness a problem tbh.
He had his turn choosing names when his children were born. The names of your children are nothing to do with him. Why would you fall out with him about it? It's not his concern.

FWIW, one of my daughters doesn't have the middle name we originally chose for her because I mentioned our choice to a close friend who recoiled in horror saying that that was her middle name and she hated it. In my hormonal, about to give birth state her reaction was enough to make me wobble and we chose another name. I really regret it! Don't be bullied into making the same mistake

Aurynne I hate doubting myself....! Thank you x

And no it's not JimBoB Habbibu might save that if we ever get a cat.

It's actually none of his business.

If he goes on about it, then tell him straight that it's none of his business and you will not put up with his rudeness.

Is he always like this? He sounds very controlling and frankly, not very nice.

Think of it as practice for when your baby is a tantrumming toddler - have that in mind when you speak to your father.

Agree with the others, none, I repeat, none of his business.

Most odd though, considering he loved it enough to give to you. I wonder if he is a little precious about you and doesn't even want a grand daughter sharing your name?

Polly hormonal state, i never even gave this a second thought..! Thank you for pointing out the blindly obvious.

Habbibu Hahahaha yes how true that is.

Rhinestone No not at all. Like most Father's (i'm sure) he does drive me crazy. But he's not controlling, his wife is!! And I think she's commented and he's going along with it. He's just a man of a certain (old school) age! I think he still thinks of me as a wee girl...esp since my Mum is no longer with us

x

Use it. Your dad will love the baby when it is born whatver its name is.

I know a 2 year old James Robert. Nobody thought anything of this name until his 6 yo sister went "Ah, Jim Bob" about 2 minutes after he was registered. He is been Jimbob ever since!

If you're anything like me you'll have to give her the name now, just to piss him off show him you can't be pushed around.

Blimey - I know most (grand) parents are some what opinionated about the baby's name - but it's one thing to say 'Hmmm I don't like it' and quite another to slag you off like this - his behaviour is disgusting quite frankly. To make matters worse it's your middle name and a family name - how rude of him!!

Don't let him spoil a name you have wanted for 15 years, one which your DH is also happy with (lucky girl!!) and I agree with your DH - why start worrying about your Dad's opinon now!

I have just seen your last post - do you think it's anything to do with your Mum... is it your Mums family name rather than coming from his side? Will it remind him/his wife of your Mum too much? (Sod it if it's her, but if it's him is it worth thinking about?).

I would love to know what the name is though.

Might be stressing over nothing....we don't even know if it's a boy or girl yet!

My dad told me, no doubt you will now have 3 boys and that will sever you right...!! You know what...he's a shit!

Plumm Hmmmm

ChippingIn Thank you x No the name is on my fathers side..which is why it's so odd.

from Feb thread - don't worry, agree with bikerunski your dad will love the baby the minute its born. My mil laughed when dd1 told her the name we had chosen for bump, she thought it was a joke, of course she is now mortified!!

Hi Wiggles waves back. Hope you're well? Haven't been on Feb thread for ages...can't keep up with all the chatter boxes..

Once bump arrives, i'm sure if it's a girl my father will keep his month shut. If not, no cuddles for grumpy grandpa!

What is the name?

Yeah, tell us, tell us!

Oh you rotters...!!!

But if i tell and you don't like it..I'll be gutted.!

Oh come on.... let us in on it :)

Honey, it is no one else business but your own. As a mother and grandmother I have been in both situations. I think you are lucky that you and your DH have a name that both of you like.

With my family I picked the girls names and my eXH picked the boys - i think that is the same with a lot of families.

When my children came to picking their childrens name I was appalled at the boys name my SIL had chosen (Jacob) as I am really not into biblical names.

Nowadays I cant see him as anything else. So let your dad get on with moaning .... but ignore him ............ after all like you said ....... it may not be a girl.

When I was young I always wanted a little girl called Angela but when I grew up I went totally off that name (thank goodness cos i absolutely hate that name now).

Dont let anyone influence what you want to call your baby esp if it is a family name and you like it ........... how many people DONT like their own name. It should be a compliment that you have chosen to call your baby the middle name your dad gave YOU.