Louise - well done for facing this and asking questions. I know how much it hurts to do it. Leaving my ex was so hard, as I was so in love with him, but it's been the best thing I've ever done. I now have a life free from the daily deceit, and the weight lifted is palpable.
You ask if it would have been as bad if the cheating was only emotional. To me, this is just as bad, if not worse. The investment of time, care and affection it takes to cheat this way is devastating, and will destroy your self worth if you remain in this situation.
My ex would also claim to love women. However, he "loved" them in the same way you would love a small cute pet. He thought women were fascinating, distracting, alluring - but also less intelligent, there to fulfil a need in him, and incapable of being in control of their own destinies. This view did tend to bolster his own vain view of himself as an attractive, intelligent and superior being. This side of him was only apparent after years of getting to know him, as his outward demeanour was kind, fun-loving and charming.
Having been where you are now, all I can say is please don't waste your life with someone who clearly has no intention of putting you first. As far as my ex was concerned, his private life was HIS business - and I was a separate part of it, not intrinsic to it, as I should have been.
I feel for you, as I know how demoralising and frustrating it is to be faced with someone who calmly and openly lies to your face, over and over again, treating it as some sort of game. Men without the maturity to sustain an honest and straightforward adult relationship - as my ex most certainly wasn't - will find someone's anguish about a relationship gone wrong as mildly amusing and over-exaggerated.
Be the adult, and look after yourself. You are in a relationship with a small boy who suffers romantic notions about himself, and that's soul-destroying.