Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Secret e-mail address and OW

111 replies

Louise2Louise · 08/12/2010 21:05

I really need some perspective please. Some 18 months ago I caught my DH sending an amorous text to OW. He denied and minimised before admitting to an inappropriate relationship with his colleague. I feared worse. He refused to discuss it other than to say he would end it. He deleted the messages he had posted on the address box he had created for her under an alias. He refused to give me any passwords but I discovered the password and adopted the address when he thought he had closed it down. Both he and she used aliases. He promised to close down the 7 or so e-mail addresses he had and keep only 2, one for work and one for personal. I discovered the passwords for both. He had refused to give them. I was dignified about my discovery but lost some 6 months of my life in grief. He appeared to get closer to me. I still checked his e-mails from time to time as he had told me how easily he had deceived his former wife because he understood computers and had a secret phone. His first marriage ended as a result of one of his girlfriends threatening to inform his wife. I read on MN that bad behaviour such as his often reoccurs after 6 months and so it was. I discovered compromising e-mails to a different colleague some six months after the original discovery. He denied anything other than flirtation. This time I went balistic. I offered him a divorce. He recoiled as he says he lost everything in his previous divorce. He admitted he was wrong and that his behaviour would cease. Last week whilst I was checking his e-mails a secret address list appeared showing a previously not known e-mail address for him. I wrote it down but failed to note the names on the address list which I have never seen before. He has an address list other than this. In order to check whether the e-mail address was an old one closed down like he had promised, I e-mailed it a message" Hello xxx'. I expected it to bounce back as unavailable. just in case it did not, I emailed it from the e-mail address of the OW, to which only I have access. It didn't bounce back. H works away often and he phoned me eventually asking me details about my whereabouts at the time of the message, and whether I had found any thing on the net. I was vague, but later thought it must relate to my e-mail. Still no reply 2 days later on the e-mail address of the OW. Late last night I googled the alias of the OW and up came a Twitter page listing contact between her and my DH. There had been contact her to him about one year ago, he had replied. DH had had depression at the time. Then again about 6 weeks ago, and then my HelloXXx message and his reply some minutes later saying Wonderful to receive your e-mail, but showing only the first few words of those e-mails. I am very upset about the existence of the secret e-mail address, and about him replying to her e-mails. Am I overreacting?
I feel dirty and ashamed that I snooped.

OP posts:
GiddyPickle · 09/12/2010 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadAboutQuavers · 09/12/2010 23:14

Louise - well done for facing this and asking questions. I know how much it hurts to do it. Leaving my ex was so hard, as I was so in love with him, but it's been the best thing I've ever done. I now have a life free from the daily deceit, and the weight lifted is palpable.

You ask if it would have been as bad if the cheating was only emotional. To me, this is just as bad, if not worse. The investment of time, care and affection it takes to cheat this way is devastating, and will destroy your self worth if you remain in this situation.

My ex would also claim to love women. However, he "loved" them in the same way you would love a small cute pet. He thought women were fascinating, distracting, alluring - but also less intelligent, there to fulfil a need in him, and incapable of being in control of their own destinies. This view did tend to bolster his own vain view of himself as an attractive, intelligent and superior being. This side of him was only apparent after years of getting to know him, as his outward demeanour was kind, fun-loving and charming.

Having been where you are now, all I can say is please don't waste your life with someone who clearly has no intention of putting you first. As far as my ex was concerned, his private life was HIS business - and I was a separate part of it, not intrinsic to it, as I should have been.
I feel for you, as I know how demoralising and frustrating it is to be faced with someone who calmly and openly lies to your face, over and over again, treating it as some sort of game. Men without the maturity to sustain an honest and straightforward adult relationship - as my ex most certainly wasn't - will find someone's anguish about a relationship gone wrong as mildly amusing and over-exaggerated.

Be the adult, and look after yourself. You are in a relationship with a small boy who suffers romantic notions about himself, and that's soul-destroying.

Louise2Louise · 10/12/2010 07:34

Good Morning and thank you all especially for the time and thought you have given me, I am very very touched. Crying again now.

I realise that I do not want this to continue. It has to stop, and there is only one way. He will not leave. When the right time comes I will have to be very strong as I will have a massive fight on my hands. I work from home too, and will need my financial security as he will not voluntarily help me if I mention splitting. I know that I will see the angry side of him, and the vulnerable side. Now is not a good time. I will need to prepare and plan. I dread him coming, which he will do very soon.

OP posts:
Louise2Louise · 10/12/2010 07:43

MAQ I have just re read your kind post. You are so right. I am very jealous of the 2 women he has emotional affairs with. He does have real affection for both of them. He defends them if I critise them. He buys them gifts which he chooses so carefully, he has even made me choose the gifts, without telling me the truth. I later saw the "thank yous" on e-mail. I have never admitted to this jealousy before, even to myself. Sobbing now. Must stop as he is due.

OP posts:
melezka · 10/12/2010 07:44

Hi Louise, hope you are feeling ok. Sometimes shock can make your head feel funny, like a cold.

I am glad you are getting help and feeling strong. I think it is good to plan and not to confront. When it is you keeping the secret, and him being nice in case you know about his secrets, you can see from his behaviour how wearing and stultifying it is - you can see a reflection of your own reactions (a distorted one).

for today

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 10/12/2010 11:37

Christ almighty, this man is an emotional abuser of the strongest kind, isn't he ?

Making his wife choose gifts for women (plural !!) he is having affairs with !

caramelwaffle · 10/12/2010 12:12

Anyfucker - He certainly is.

Louise2Louise: he has expressed horror at the thought of you splitting up the relationship, purely for reasons of money. Your money. Don't think for one minute that you are not capable of having a good life without this leech.

Good luck with everything.

MakeYerOwnDamnDinner · 10/12/2010 12:28

Christ, I can hardly believe what I'm reading. Making you choose gifts for his other women by lying about who or what the gifts are for presumably.

This man is destroying you. He is breaking your heart. And he is enjoying it.

Get out. Get out now.

booyhohoho · 10/12/2010 22:04

"I am not going to discuss this with him. It would serve no purpose. You are all so right, he will not be truthful. I think that my silence will disconcert him more. He doesn't get the opportunity to use the no doubt by now, well rehearsed lies. It's not that I want to play games, I get very upset. Heavens, you have made me think that he may even enjoy seeing me distressed. Am I getting carried away? I can see that a confrontation will serve no purpose other than to upset me and poison the atmosphere for days. Besides, I don't want him to see me as a victim. "

louise just catching up on your thread.

i have reposted this post of yours because it feels like a breakthrough moment to me and i want you to re-read it and remember it. draw strength from it when you need to remind yourself of what he is liek and what you need to do.

you have been given some amazing advice and support here, use it and lean on it. we are all here and will be throughout this difficult time.

MadAboutQuavers · 11/12/2010 00:14

Louise - I just wanted to let you know that we are all thinking of you and sending strength and love over the net.

Many people here know just what you're going through, and we also know that it can be got through so that you emerge stronger and wiser out the other side.
Your self-worth and self-esteem are the most valuable assets you have. They'll keep you warm at night and keep you strong more than anything else will. Don't allow anyone to play fast and loose with them. Especially not someone who has no real interest in your happiness.

melezka · 11/12/2010 10:39

Hi Louise, thinking of you, hope you are ok

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread