H had refused to come to mediation to sort out all aspects of our divorce, despite me offering to pay his costs (I work PT and have full care of our two DCs. I am broke and qualify for legal aid). He has not paid us a bean since leaving in April this year and moving in with his current GF two weeks after leaving us.
After telling him a trillion times, over six months, that it will cost him tens of thousands of pounds to divorce through the courts, I finally persuaded him to meet me today.
He changed the location to a local pub. Whilst there, he drank two pints. He went to get a third but I questioned him about the fact he has to drive home to our DCs (who were at his house with his nan whilst we talked). He didn't have another.
I then had to go and do another errand before collecting DCs. (We live an hour away...mum was in hospital so H agreed to have the boys so I can visit her. H only sees the boys once a month - his choice. He does not phone. Ever).
Collected boys. Asked them if they had had a good day. Yes, they did. they went to Wacky Warehouse. Hmm. What did Dad drink at Wacky Warehouse. Beer. How many? Two.
Two pints at Wacky, then two pints when with me. And then he drove them. I telephoned to ask him about it (very, very nicely). He said that he hadn't...then couldn't face making out that the boys were lying and jsut said "so what?". Then hung up.
One step forward, two back. This is the third time I have had this issue with him and previously had to halt contact as H kept turning up stinking of beer to collect them in the car.
So what now? Dcs love their dad. But it's a safety issue. How can I handle this effectively?