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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ex sent pics of new girlfriend

89 replies

spiritedaway · 27/11/2010 16:21

My ex who constantly says he wants us back... WEsplit 2 months ago..is already seeing various girls. Saying i have no right to ask for time...make my mind up etc. He asks to meet and if i agree immediately places demands like we are meeting to start the relationship again..not just to build bridges. Recently told me he is sleeping with someone else...i replied i don't need to know, be adult next thing i received pic message of half naked 20 something in his room. With message,"is this adult enough for you?" I am 40 and 7 months pregnant with our second child. He then said he sent this pic to show me he really loved me because he wanted me not her,,,the pic he said was to show it was not through lack of opportunity. Also he as said, "screw you, you have no right to be upset. It's me who wants you back. "Problem is...it made me feel shit and now i am weakening in my resolve to part. Any comments? Feeln so low and confused, lonely etc

OP posts:
ItalianLady · 27/11/2010 16:22

He sounds like a dick.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/11/2010 16:24

He sends you a half-naked pic of a woman half your age, as a token of his love? Remember that when your resolve weakens.

He sounds utterly vile. Angry

Gay40 · 27/11/2010 16:25

He needs to be made a proper ex. No reasonable man would act like this. Tell him to fuck off.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/11/2010 16:26

What a moron.

Sorry you are feeling down. :(

TooBlessed2spendxmasalone · 27/11/2010 16:29

give him the proper title,,EX

he is a bad bad man,7months pregnant and he sends you a picture of a woman half you age? to show how much he loves you? wow,,bin him for good..

so sorry you are pregnant and have to go through this..

truffleshuffle · 27/11/2010 16:33

What a cock Angry
Tell him that you are no longer interested in him and what he is doing and that you only want to hear from him if it is regarding your children.

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/11/2010 16:34

Look at how he is viewing this young girl he is with.

He is a masogynist, pure and simple.

You split with him for a reason. Nobody splits from their P when 40, 5m pg, unless there is a HUGE issue.

I don't know your backstory. tbh, I don't think I need to. Your OP has told me all I need to know.

You need to run like the ffing wind... well at 7m PG, waddle off with purpose Grin

Don't you DARE let this dickhead back into your lives.

He couldn't even wait a month or 2 before banging some poor young girls that don't know any better... and then rubs it in your face.

HATRED is too kind a sentiment for this tosser. Angry

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/11/2010 16:35

grr... misogynist

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/11/2010 16:36

he sounds controlling, manipulative and abusive... is that why you left?

CheerfulV · 27/11/2010 16:38

He sounds like a massive and total bellend. You're better off without him, love!

Strewth...

spiritedaway · 27/11/2010 16:40

He is a nob. I cheated on him with an ex ages ago, 1st few weeks of the relationship 6 years ago. Typical situation of trying to remain friends with someone. I wasn't proud of it. Was ashamed. Stopped it and went on to, i thought live happily ever after, with my new man (the nob). WE had a child together and during my 2nd pregnancy he did some hacking and snooping and found out about the beginning of relationship. I was contrite, ashamed, sorry...went to relationship councilling. Although i felt we had a life together and to me this shaky start was well in the past i tried to see that it was news to him and he was hurt. He obsessed for months asking me to fill out questionnaires with times, dates, conversations.nted every detail but it just made him worse. He called me a liar all the time about everything. It was catch 22 because when i answered his questions he chose not to believe me because i was a proven liar etc etc. He was obsessed with who knew what, not about feelings. Seriously punished me for 2 months until he became physically abusive and justified it because i was a lying cheating blah. Now he says these pics are honest and just sex and nothing compared to what i did to him. The fact i am hurt by the pics shows i am a liar who doesn't understand honesty. Does he still sound like a dick?

OP posts:
CheerfulV · 27/11/2010 16:42

YES!

TooBlessed2spendxmasalone · 27/11/2010 16:44

oh,it gets better and better,he sounds more than a normal d...k.

spiritedaway · 27/11/2010 16:44

I know what i did was wrong...and it came back to bite me in the arse. But he was completely insecure, paranoid and controlling which i guess was why i never ever dared rock the boat to tell him. I did tell him at the time i'd met my ex and had feelings for him. Wasn't sneaking around. He just never knew the details. Does this make sending these pics any more understandable..now you see i am not blameless?

OP posts:
Doha · 27/11/2010 16:44

Yes--he is still a nob

TooBlessed2spendxmasalone · 27/11/2010 16:45

he sounds worse,horrible man,controlling and manipuative,get out girl while you have the chance,you have kids to protect and he is not going to change,it sounds like he wants to punish you for what you did donkey years ago,,if he was trying to get you back then he would not he hurting you,

ivykaty44 · 27/11/2010 16:45

gosh you are well ride of him - move on and don't let him back in your life - ever

truffleshuffle · 27/11/2010 16:46

Whatever the background is to your relationship, you cheated etc. This doesn't change the fact that this relationship is never going to work.

He obviously can't forgive you and is making your life a misery. Cut your losses. Let him have a relationship with his children but leave it at that. You will be happier on your own.

spiritedaway · 27/11/2010 16:46

Because i am seriosly thinking about meeting up with him...i need a slap if anyone is local...NOT that i am into nphysical abuse! A metaphorical slap would do the job.

OP posts:
TooBlessed2spendxmasalone · 27/11/2010 16:46

of course you are not blameless,but does that mean he has to torture you and rub it in your face? ahg,,he is stilla nob

ValiumSingleton · 27/11/2010 16:47

He doesn't want you back to love you though. He wants you back because he's effronted that YOU had the audacity to end the relationship with him! It rankles him that you would have such a high opinion of yourself, a forty year old! the nerve of you, when he can shag a twenty something.

HE sounds an absolute dickhead, and no loss. I would tell him that you've made up your mind for definite, and you're certain, You're on your own, you're single.

If he's anything like my x he'll tell you no other man will want you, at your age, with another man's kids etc etc etc,,,, I heard all this. And I said to him "and being aware of that I still want to leave you". At the time I did hope to meet somebody else, but now I realise that that might or might not happen but I have my freedom from him, independence, the chance to enjoy life and not have to pander to a controlling mysogynist.

moondog · 27/11/2010 16:47

You both sound very immature.

TooBlessed2spendxmasalone · 27/11/2010 16:47

don't even think about it,,unless it has something to do with the kids..

spiritedaway · 27/11/2010 16:47

Sorry sloppy post...2 year old helping type

OP posts:
RorysRacingMa · 27/11/2010 16:49

he is a prize arse and deserves to be excluded from your life. keep remembering how awful he has been. he wont change.

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