I think DH is a sexoholic.

[AllShaggedOut]

Honestly...what actually makes a man "unatural" in his need for sex? We're both in our mid-thirties with 2 dc...I DO enjoy sex...it's great but not as often as he wants it.

It causes rows...he ould do it three times a day if he could...he has never showed signs of being unfaithful...but I can't shag that often!

I work from home and so does he at times...if DC are not there then he comes after me all the bloody time...I have name changed for this btw as FAR too embarrased to talk about this otherwise.

We had a row today because I said that if I dont want it I dont want it and nagging or sulking is pointless...he thiinks I should "try" more as it really affects him if he can't do it often.

It DOES seem to affect him...he gets tense and grumpy...and sorting it out himself iyswim doesn't "work" apparently.

I would be happy to do it about twice a week...my younest is only 2 and I get knackered! I dont always feel sexy due to looking like I have been dragged backwards though a bush!

What to do? Feel like it will never work...

Hope it works out. Do whatever you feel is best though. You obviously love him or wouldn't be with him (would you?) so trying to work out something that keeps you both happy and together is the main thing. Good luck and night! x

Well reading that extract probably would seem like that, when I read it I read the whole book and concepts behind it! it is still used today and some people think it relevant in TA (Transactional Analysis)

I think its completeley normal for some men / women to want to do it all the time , but i dont think its normal to harass somebody and sulk if your told no.

Where is his respect for you or any sort of boundarys ? Sureley if you say No , thats the end of it ? What sort of man happily pesters for sex with a woman who doesnt want to ? Ugh.

Why would it be your job to let him him fuck on you whenever he feels like it , he sounds very entitled . Ive never heard of the book mentioned , but i do know that some men will sexually bully their wives , not to get sex , but to demean them by treating them like a sex toy.

I assume youve told him you dont like being pestered and how it makes you feel ? I think you need to be very clear , No means No , end of conversation. Do not justify it or explain it , and dont have sex with him just to keep the peace.

Hes right though , it does affect him if he cant do it more , not because his balls will explode , but because hes annoyed you wont let him fuck on you , because thats his right.

By the way , i dont think the porn will be helping with this at all.

Is he insecure in other area's of life, does he need to reassurance of constant sex to feel wanted and loved?
Him going in a huff sounds like hurt feelings(totally unjustified hurt feelings) at feeling rejected.
Try explaining that although you don't want sex as much as him that you still love him and want him very much?

His wanting lots of sex isn't the problem here - a high sex drive isn't abnormal. The problem is that he feels entitled to demand it from you, and doesn't seem overly concerned about your feelings. I think he needs a bit of education about sex and relationships, I wonder if you could find a book or something that he might believe if he won't believe it when you tell him, e.g. about how it's not usual to have loads of sex when you have small children; that you can't pester someone into wanting sex; that vicious cycle someone else talked about... That sort of thing.

Pestering is the most unsexy thing in the world. He'd be better putting his energies into removing the reasons why you are tired and distracted etc. He's obviously not making you feel sexy, so really the onus is on him to figure out how...not harp and moan that his wank sock isn't up for it.

Trapped...he DOES need a lot of worship reassurance...he IS insecure and used to get very jealous. He is more or less over the jealouy though.

I think the behaviour of sexual pestering is an insecure/jealous thing to do

It's like "marking your territory"

"All other men stay away, this one is mine"

It is shit, and reduces you to the status of an object that he owns

And you can't even go to work to get away from it...

It kind of is isn't it AnyFucker? He's often tried to get it on just before I go out...like peeing up my leg I suppose...so what do I do? How to re-train my man-dog?

Who in all other respects is funny, generous, a great Dad, good worker and really my best mate?

Treat him like the dog he is.

Put a leash on him. Fire a water pistol at him. Tazer him. Hit him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

I dunno.

But I suspect any dog-lover would tell us we are giving dogs a bad name!.

More seriously, sit him down and tell him in no uncertain terms his pestering is juvenile, off-putting and disrespectful and you want it to stop.

If it doesn't stop you will be reconsidering your relationship. Would that be clear enough for him (assuming you have already tried to make him understand you don't like being pawed, and the sulking makes him look like a tit)?

Show him this thread ?

You shouldn't have to "re-train" him, he should afford you the respect you deserve. If he can't do that, welll.....

Just before you go out ? Is this man a teenager ? Is he the most-selfobsessed person in the world ?

I don't like him.

Right then, sounds like he has low self esteem, the constant pestering for sex is a symptom of that, needing physical reassurance that you love him etc.
He might not even know that's the reason why he's doing it, but now YOU do.

I don't know how you would deal with that, perhaps the reassurance that now wanting sex all the time doesn't mean that you don't love him/are going to run off with the window cleaner etc.

There's not really much more you can do, he really needs to help himself and definetly have the chat about how disrespectful it is!

'not' wanting sex, duh!

Mummiehunnie - Good lord.

If he's insecure, it's his problem. If he is, at bottom, a nice bloke who is 'acting out; his insecurity, once he's had it pointed out to him he needs to make a serious effort to a) stop pestering for sex and b) more importantly, do his share of housework. Men who do their share get more, and better, sex (I can't find the link but there have been studies done on this. ALso, it's fairly like, obvious that it would work) because their wives appreciate that the man sees them as a partner, and the relationship as a team effort between people who love one another and want to please one another, not a case of the man being the person in the relationship, and the woman being there for his benefit not her own.
Of course, if his response to you telling him this is to try to pack you off to a counsellor to be reprogrammed helped to increase your libido, then you will be able to look again at your relationship and decide whether you really want to be anowned object, a domestic appliance with fuckable orifices, or not.

I'm sorry OP, I don't have any advice for you...

I just wanted to post my total at mummiehunnie's post

(can you tell I'm shocked? )

Fucking hell.

I have to say those 'extracts' from an apparent 'book' were possibly the most ridiculous (as well as pretty inarticulate) statements I have ever read. Absolute load of bollocks...
(And it's frigid, not 'fridged')

As for 3 times a day, no real advice - I'm somewhat in awe of the man to be honest... You could always call his bluff and wear him out, but that might backfire horribly.

Good luck (and do a hunt for some little blue pills just in case)...

Although I did like "fridged"

To take this in a different direction, would something like a Fleshlight help?

I am a fridged bitch.

I was once, and am again. Refridged.

Defrost thoroughly before heating

Make sure contents are piping hot.

Be carefull or Mr Meaner will have you all in dyslexia class, as he gets his pants in a twist with anger over spelling mistakes, or have you in detention and spank your naughty bottoms, instead of being in the play ground!