How long before you fall in love in a relationship

[AnneBowling]

That's the question really. I've been seeing a chap for nearly three months, and we get on well, but I don't think I'm falling in love yet. We've not had sex yet, but we've been sexual IYKWIM

I posted before that with his work, we're struggling to see each other (maybe once a week), so when we do see each other, it's a little as if we need to regain a little of the ground we lost since last time.

Fair enough one might say, it's only three months, but I'm a little worried I'm not "feeling it"

Three months, seeing him once a week, so you've seen each other 12 times? Maybe 20 times maximum?

I certainly wouldn't be falling in love with someone after only that amount of time together. I know friends who do, but they often turn out to have been "mistaken" after they get to know the guy better (which I think means they put him on a pedestal too early and then got disappointed). Give it more time. If you are enjoying his company, that's great.

HOw much are you in touch in between meeting up>
Are you txting and e-mailing and joking on the phone. You don't have to see the person all the time to fall in love with them.

well you may not be feeling very attached but is the chemistry there?

That's a fair point london I hadn't thought about contact between meet ups.

Still, though, three months is really not very long.

We are emailing and texting most days, talking on the phone not so much (he's a doctor, and has been working night shifts, etc and so not so easy to call)

There's chemistry in that I fancy him, and we laugh together.

Well, if you fancy him you're doing Ok. I was about to ask - is there anything that puts you off, or you're trying to ignore?

If not - just go easy. I'd say no sex yet is a very good sign because he's still around and clearly sees you as more than a quick fling.

I think you will know whether he's right for you once you have sex.

But then, I've never been very good at waiting

This might seem a little silly, but I'm a little scared of having sex, because I think once we do, then we've crossed a boundary (I know some people are more casual then I am about this)

What I mean by that above, is that in the past, I've fallen in love before having sex before, rather than the other way around

Yes absolutely, fall in love first.

It's the best way.

Ennis, that is definitely my philosophy (not saying it's the only way or best)

I fell in love with DH before i was with him, he was a friend.(i was seeing someone else )

I didnt "fall in love" with ex-h as such , i loved him after dating him for 6 months or so....it just wasnt "there" iykwim.

I also have had a boyfriend that i cared about , but didnt love ,
a boyfriend i had major crush on ,
and a boyfriend who i thought was creepy after a bit and couldnt wait to get rid of.

If "something" isnt there after a few months its not a good sign imo.Dont sleep with him, it wil be crap.

BACK OF THE QUE TIME FOR BF !