does anyone have a nice male partner ?

[Lemonstartree]

and how did you know that ? what signs sere there in the beginning that he was basically a decent bloke - you know, not an abuser, likely to be faithful etc etc....

There are SO many hurt women out there, and in such miserable relationships.... surely there are SOME people who are really happy with their partner (in a a long term kind of way - not that first rush of love)

I am 100% content and happy with my DH who is an absolute star.

We were childhood sweethearts so I guess the situation is a little different. We got together in 6th form - I had just turned 17, he was about to turn 18 and I met him when I went on a date with his best friend.

He was one of the most fancied lads in school (although ironically, I'd never fancied him before we got together) but wasn't remotely arrogant with it - he was and still is the kind of person who will happily chat to anyone. Playground status never came into it and he's never been able to get his head around the whole clique thing.

After a bit of a false start - he asked me out at a club night, didn't phone me for nearly a week (by which time I'd all but given up on him) and then we couldn't see each other for another few days due to family commitments - we started going out properly, only for me to have to go into hospital a week later to have my tonsils out.

The day after I came out of hospital he came to visit me at home unexpectedly. I had been throwing up all night, was still in my old ratty nightie, hadn't been in the shower yet so probably smelt a bit ripe - basically I was a right state. He had brought me a cuddly toy and a get well card, walked in, gave me a massive hug and a kiss and sat and cuddled me for an hour. After that I knew I caught a good 'un

Within a couple of weeks, we were talking about our future together - got officially engaged after 18 months, moved in together 12 months after that. We've now been together 13 and a half years, married for 6 and a half and things just get better and better. He really looks after me (he does all the cooking and gets DD ready most mornings), works really hard and tells me he loves me at least four times a day!

We had our moments at the start - his jealousy was a real problem and his 'best friend' tried to split us up on numerous occasions, but I can only recall every having two major arguments with him and we rarely even bicker any more.

We've been through a lot and grown up together - I adore him and I know he adores me. We miss each other like crazy while we are at work a speak two or three times a day on the phone.

We often talk about how easy we find our relationship and wonder if we are normal or odd for never really having 'issues' - especially if some of our friends are arguing, or we are watching something on TV.

He is so perfect for me, that at times, it really does feel like we are two halves as whole (as soppy as that is) and I really couldn't begin to imagine life without him.

See, I think being overly charming and over confident are bad signs. I prefer shy intelligent men

Yes.

He isn't perfect. Neither am I.

Is he loyal, loving, supportive. Yes. Would he be in my corner in a crisis. Yes, without a shadow of a doubt.

It has taken me many years to appreciate just what a good man he is. I'm not head over heels in love with him but I'd rather be where I am than in a passionate romance with a gorgeous bloke who I couldn't trust.

my dh is lush

he is my best friend in the whole world

i have never ever met anyone with anything bad to say about him

it makes me very sad to see all the crappy relationship threads on here when i am so lucky :(

Yes, and the signs were the way he is with his family and the way his parents are together

My DH is fabulous, he is my best friend in every way. I feel incredibley lucky to have him :)

My DH is a great bloke most of the time.
he's not perfect but after 23 years of marriage he is shaping up nicely.
I know he would do anything for me and I would trust him with my life.

My boyfriend! He is by no means perfect - he's short tempered and sometimes moody, but he's also attentive, intelligent, funny, kind and affectionate. I think he's a keeper :)

DH is very nice. I am glad he's mine and I will not offer to share.

He treats me well when I am tired and grumpy as I am now.

My DH is fanastic about 95% of the time. It took us a while to totally fall in love but it just keeps on growing (10 years in).

Occassionally grumpy and finds me annoying .

I got rid of the rubbish ones very quickly (won't cook /do housework- fuck off, drink too much- bye bye, won't work -see ya, any abuse and gone the next day)

well worth the wait.

Yes. DH is brilliant. And nice. And gorgeous. Apart from the fact that he was lovely to me from day 1, I was impressed early on by his longstanding loyal friendships with a group of very nice people (who are all now my friends too) and his respectful attitude to my family. He also always liked children and animals. We met 12 years ago and have been married for 9.

My husband is really really nice.

I have been with him for almost 16 years and although we sometimes annoy each other he is consistently decent.

How did I know he was right? Well, I never came home from a date feeling as though I had said or done the wrong thing, I could be myself and he didn't try to change me. He was (and is) proud of my achievements. He had friends who I met and were nice also and he talked about his family warmly. He is a positive person. He has no "side".

As for fidelity, I don't think you can ever rule infidelity out. But he is smart enough to appreciate what we have got, I think, and family matters to him. And he is decent so wouldn't want to hurt me.

My DH is gorgeous, loyal and kind. He's the only person that I have ever thought about marriage with (and did marry!)

However...he is prone to making loud and strange noises and last night I woke up choking due to a death fart that was delivered by him whilst we were sleeping. One day I'm not going to wake up.
Also very excitable, it's sometimes like living with an overgrown puppy!

Wouldn't swap him though :)

Yes, mine is nice. There are ways I would improve him (lots, once I get going), but I couldn't really fault him on being a nice person who treats other people well, does his share of childcare, gives me space to do my own thing, supports me, is a great father. etc.

(I would still like him to be less obsessed with DIY, and his view that Terry Pratchett is Deep and Meaningful irritates me. And I wish he didn't like organ music. and he's very messy. and he wants sex too often.) but he's nice.

the signs:
we were friends before hand , so i really got to know him, i basically looked for kindness towards people when he doesn't have to, how he treats women in a general way, how honest he is as a person,... you know someone who kicks a dog or takes advantage of someone else won't make a good partner.

me

he was happy to be with someone who was independent and wasn't threatened by that

he ignored me trying to boss him around or manipulate him

he's naturally very calm and sensible
he's entirely honourable
brilliant with children and weirdly old people

ultimately the thing that swung it though was his great sense of rhythm, ahem
and
brilliant kissing

My dh is really nice!

The way that I could tell that I had met a nice bloke was that I didn't need to ask anyone else's opinion about whether he was a nice bloke/we were suited to each other.

Seemed the same way with my best friends as well. We'd gone all the way through teens and early 20's saying 'yes, but do YOU like him' about various blokes, but when we met 'the one' we didn't need anyone else's approval.

Sometimes, you don't know what you've got. Dh had a bit of a wobble last year and it was only then that I realised how much he supports me. I had to support him for a few months and it was bloo*y had work. I must remember to appreciate him a bit more!

Yes DH is a very lovely man. He has his faults but he is kind, loving and respectful. He's also a great dad. Early signs of this were mainly how proud and respectful he was of his mum. Also he spoke about things his dad had taught him and how he felt he had leant a lot from his parents. Coming from a very dysfunctional family myself his pride and love for his parents seemed like a good sign to me!

mine is lush too.

But then i chose very VERY carefully.

I made him jump through lots of hoops before i decided he was good enough for me.

A test in itself, he would not have stuck around if he didnt deem it worth it...fine by me.

We were friends for about a year before we started to see him.

Been together 18 years, married 10.

he is gorg xxx

worked out that i was cold on our first date and lent me his scarf and hat

cooked me breakfast when i stayed over even though there'd been no hanky-panky

continued to cook breakfast later in the relationship even when hanky-panky had been had

was nice to and about his parents and spoke to them regularly (that was a BIG one for me)

said that he was interested in having children

did not run a mile when I raised this issue on our second date - in my defence I'd divorced one man for this reason already

lived within his means and showed absolutely no interest in any kind of conspicuous consumption or display

really looked at me

asked questions and listened to the answers

Mine:

Very funny and thinks I'm hilarious too
Compliments me all the time
Has put up with depressions and sex droughts
Is the most caring, patient and affectionate father
Leaves the light on for me when I go out
Is just really nice - a decent person to everyone he meets
I can totally be myself with him
Gets on really well with my parents

(together 20 years and married for 13)

I fell in love at first sight BTW - I just looked at him and could see how kind and decent he was. True story.

(took him 18 months to feel the same, though)

He's pretty fine.

Have known him for 20 years, married for 7. He remembers the first moment he saw me vividly. He went to a lot of effort to inveigle his way into my life which is totally uncharacteristic as he's pretty laid back (so got the idea he was keen!)

Good signs: is totally easy to be with; is very much an even keel; outwardly tough but at ease with children and didn't think made him look uncool (is currently feeding squally dc3 whilst I MN); has a strong moral ethic despite evil sense of humour and is clever, which is important otherwise I would walk over him. Kind to animals and crazy grandmothers, protective, still up for plenty of sex. Not so pig-headed that he can't change his mind or be persuaded (hence dc3). He mentors troubled teens who don't have dads in their lives - they like his verbal quickness and no-nonsense toughness but are most curious when he brings the dcs in and see him be soft and gentle with no loss of face.

He's has flaws that others for sure would find irritating but he makes me happy.

Wow, how lovely 74 women who have great partners! you give me hope.

I think my problem is that I dont (yet) have enough self esteem to work out the the key is whether HE is good enough for ME rather than the other way round.

I need to really value myself ( and I know, intellectually, there is a LOT to value) before I think about another partner, otherwise I will end up selling myself short (again! )

where do you meet people? I think one of my issues is that I never meet available men, so when I do I feel like he is the only option...