So it's all just come out about OM

[JustNotThatIntoMe]

It was an emotional affair. Some of you will know the background.

I closed down my FB account. That's where it started with OM. It didn 't end well. I used to love it on there and DH knows this so was suspicious.

TBH it was a relief to get it all out. But DHs reaction has made me question why I fought my feelings for OM. DH says he understands why it happened because he isn't being the husband I need him to be and he can't change the way he feels about me.

He then started to read the paper.

I have fought the most intense feelings for someone else and not acted on them. Why can't DH fight for me?

OM is not the answer, I know that. But I can't go on feeling so rejected. I am a sitting target for an affair.

We're going to talk tonight. I don't know what the hell to do.

justnotthatetc - i think everything you say chimes quite similarly with the way i feel and the way a lot of other mothers of young DCs feel. I don't like many aspects of the person I have become since having two young children. I think your sense of self can get very lost if you are the one in the partnership who ostensibly "sacrifices" more - what used to define you is suddenly gone. So there is a big emptiness there that sadly is not fulfilled by your DCs - and I think this is where a lot of the openness to outside attention/OMs comes in. You're looking for something to fill that emptiness. Your DH can't do it. For a while, the OM can because they initially see that person inside you - the one you used to be, the one you're desperate to get back again.

But really only you/we can find a way to fill that gap again.

I don't know if I'm making any sense.
I'll be watching to see if you come back with any answers!
MMx

JustNot

I'm glad that you came back and re-read the posts that you found, ahem, harsh and admitting that in part or whole, some were/are accurate comments on the situation.

I hope that the talk went as well as it could, for all of you.