The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Players and Supporters Bus

[venusandmars]

Hi I am venus and I am an alcoholic.

Thanks to the first thread by Jesuswhatnow I have not had a drink for a long time.

There are lots of us on here, please lurk, post, whatever does it for you. If you are worried about how much you drink and your inability to stop when you want to, then someone on here can probably understand.

thurso I find that it helps to have clothes when one is leaving the house Managed to pick some up last week so am OK at the moment! All is still going well with FB/ DP though (struggling with how to refer to him.) Should be getting divorce papers this week and then we'll see what happens... Still feel very about the end of my marriage though. All perfectly natural I guess.

mouse hope it doesn't cause too much pain. 'Speak' to you later.

It's been a while now Red, so I think he is your boyfriend, how lovely, what a lovely young making word!!, although, of course, you are young, and your boyfriend is young too, because he is the same age as me :)

Also, the end of any relationship is :( making, and especially, I would think, a marriage, which one goes into with such bright hope for the future. Give yourself time to feel sad for it, and move on when you are ready.

Hope all goes well at the physio mouse, how is nemo today?

Right, MUST do some housework, I am on a course tomorrow, so I have to get on top of things today, working from home isn't good for my productivity.

I have to say though, that having never been on a "chat" type forum, I can't believe how wonderful it is to find you all. I think I was blessed that I found you. When I think back to 3 weeks ago today......:(

Very close to the rest of my family Red but don't think I will ever be close to my sister although to be honest we weren't that close before.

Well done on day 22 Thurso

Mouse hope physio is not too bad, will be here with cheese on your return. x

Zany am gobsmacked at your family. I can imagine its almost impossible to move on from that.

Red sorry your family are wearing judgey pants. Do you think that this will be ok once the dust settles? As thurso said, you need to give yourself time to feel sad for your marriage, its still early days but you will get there.

Weekend with family was ok, although DD ill and unsettled so ended up sleeping with me, so no sleep for either of us really. We had to leave party at 7.30pm as she was in a tired / hyper state. I did struggle with whole family thing. My sis just seems to assume that her needs are met and the rest of us follow suit. I don't know if its my insecurities or if she is just unthinking. We were so close when we were younger but we just seem to be getting further apart now. She is also eager to come and stay with us now we have moved but never has before (again, we stay in hotels if we go to theirs). I can't help thinking if I had stayed in a smaller house she wouldn't bother, so is a key element of her visiting me house size?

sorry rambling x

hi everyone - well done on day 22 thurso

noteven how's today going now?

JWN the one having a row with his wife could have been my dh pretty much any night of last week, especially if you throw the words tart, whore, stupid cow in there... luckily he is laying off the booze at the moment.

Since he got back from london i've had the worst sleep - up since 330 with burning up child on tuesday morning, and then this morning DH left for cape town at 4am so I was up since 330 again - and then the kids woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep.... Shattered.

Biancacb once again your dh sounds so like my xh, if I was even 10 minutes late back from shop it meant I was shagging someone else , is your dh calling you these names due to the fact that he was away??
Congrats on Day 22 Thurso:)

miflaw thank you, been thinking about your flu-like prediction this morning. I have ALL of those. I am snuggling under duvet. No, I couldn't make it to work.
AA e-mailed me back. This is a new start, right? My mum was surprisingly supportive.

Thanks for all your kind words Babes. And you weren't rambling MsGee just telling it like it is.

desire and bianca that was one of the issues me and XH had from the start. He constantly accused me of cheating - and I wasn't. It was only once our marriage had totally broken down that I ended up with someone else. Can't get that through to him though and a bit too!

thurso According to FB/ DP you're as young as the woman you feel so he's feeling pretty chuffed with himself at the moment

noteven great to hear from you. Sounds like snuggling under the duvet is the perfect option for today. Were work OK with you? Have you told your mum exactly what's going on?

This is your new start, you can do this. If you can try to get to an AA meeting ASAP - you will only find warmth, understanding and love in the rooms.

Ok, miflaw, I drank probably getting on for 30 units....

Thank you thank you... so this is seeing a hangover through to the end. Will you walk me through it?

DD is on the mend but not fit for nursery which maybe makes decisions easier. DP not supportive. Very difficult.

I feel shaky and made dr's appt for 4.

noteven of course we will walk you through it. We've all done it (several times in lots of cases including myself) and it's horrible. But it does pass pretty quickly, I promise. Well done on making the doc's appointment. Feel proud of all these steps you are taking and putting together which will lead to your recovery.

Does your DP drink a lot? Does he recognise that you have a problem?

(How often were you drinking approx. 30 units btw?)

Occasionally. A bottle a night was usual. Telling DP is going to be really tough. My own fault though.

I thought this morning I'd be ok but I was wrong. Hanging on to dr's appt.

30 a day? Every day?

What would you estimate for a week?

Count a bottle of red wine as 9; a bottle of white as 7; a can of 5% beer as 2; a can of 4% (Fosters etc) as 2 but then knock a bit off the total; add an extra half unit for a pint; things like K, White lightning, Special Brew etc will tell you the units on the side of the can (it's an IMMENSE number); count a bottle of spirits as 30 units and a litre of spirits as 40 units.

I'm making these numbers up, but they feel about right.

Of course, if you've started drinking Listerine, aftershave, rubbing alcohol or meths, you'll have to calculate the units long-hand ...

Incidentally, if the doctor asks you how much you drink, be prepared to talk him/her through your calculation - apparently they are told to double whatever you tell them otherwise, because drunkard = liar.

noteven this is not your fault. You are an alcoholic not a bad person. You are suffering from an illness/ disease/ whatever you want to call it. But today you are taking control - be proud. Your DP might struggle if he feels like his 'drinking buddy' has been taken away from him. (If you did some drinking together?) From this point forward sobriety has to be number 1 in your life. You can't change your DP or make him react in a certain way. You can only change yourself. And you have taken those first steps.

Red thanks. Re DH do you think he prefers to think you were cheating because its a nice easy answer for him? he doesn't then have to think about his own responsibility for the marriage and can be a victim (which can be a nice safe place if you're hurting). Plus, he is bound to be ever so slightly miffed that you are happy with someone else?!

noteven this might be a hangover but you might just be ill? Whichever it is, drink lots of liquids, rest, eat well and tell yourself that this is temporary. It is, honest.

Def not that every day.

Maybe a bottle plus a night.

I know the double what they say thing.

DD is more prescious (sp?? def sp!!?) than anything....
I need to stop. I really need to.

MsGee I think that playing the victim suits him very well actually. He can blame it all on me, my drinking (OK fair enough!), my cheating (nope) and just me basically while he gets all the sympathy from the whole flaming town! FFS he's even got my parents on side!

noteven just concentrate on getting through this next hour, then the one after that and so on. You can do this.

Off out again now. Will try and read through later but PLEASE LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER BRAVE BABES xx

Hi noteven, Are you talking about a bottle of wine a night?, or spirits?, if it's spirits then I can't really help, but others can. When is your Dr's appointment?

Milflaw The white wine I used (?!!) to drink was 12.5% and 9.4 units per bottle, I think it's quite usual to find wine at that strength, some reds are 13.5 or 14%!!

Shame on me, I used to know exactly how many units I had in a week , and still did it.

mouse thanks for taking the time to post when you have so much going on with nemo. I am so sorry that he's so poorly at the moment and that it's causing you so much worry. Sending many computer fairy kisses and best wishes to ALL of the mouse family.

Thank you. Am trying to hang in there. Get to drs right??? Struggling.