The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Players and Supporters Bus

[venusandmars]

Hi I am venus and I am an alcoholic.

Thanks to the first thread by Jesuswhatnow I have not had a drink for a long time.

There are lots of us on here, please lurk, post, whatever does it for you. If you are worried about how much you drink and your inability to stop when you want to, then someone on here can probably understand.

Everyone else still asleep:):)

I'm here!

noteven all the things you are talking about I have felt when I have come off a bender. Would still advise that you go to the doc's to get it all checked though in case you do need medication.

steam I think I remember your earlier posts. Welcome back, great to have you onboard.

How's everyone else doing?

Morning Red, you still tired:):):)

Silver great post.

I came on here to say that I have been drinking again for the past 3 nights. Not much, just a glass or so and was going to post that I don't really feel able to tackle things at the moment. I couldn't work out why I was here when I was doing so well.

Then I read Silver's post.

And yes, its the route of me starting again. I am feeling crap and worthless and its the 'fuck it, i'm in charge by choosing to not be in control' shittymindstate that I think I have discussed before (Red ?).

I am behind in work. So far behind that I don't think I can make it ok. DD has been off nursery sick. House is a state. Without finishing work I am unsure how we pay for the house repairs. Vicious circle.

Felt a bit like second class family member on weekend as had to rent a holiday flat as no room for my family at mum's (was assumed sister would be the one to stay - me and DH always the one forking out for hotels). Suspect that the latter is the root of things. Saw even less of family on weekend than I would have because of staying in different place. As we live far away, we don't see family as much as sister. To be honest, always felt like a bit of an outsider in family compared to sister. As writing realising that this is all a major trigger.

Not sure where this is going. Back later.x

root

not route.

FFS

and Red

morning all. silver thanks for the post, you hit the nail on the head!
steam welcome aboard
noteven are you ok?
got to dash, have to present to board of directors and haven't got the work done because of getting pissed last night....
Today i will not be drinking.

Am not a tactile person MsGee but please accept a gigantic hug from me . . can empathise a lot with how you are feeling at minute!

Good luck with your presentation Ma

desire managed to catch up on sleep last night but was woken up fairly early this morning Still am feeling a lot better than yesterday!

MsGee shuffle hugs all round. Yes it was me that you 'talked' to about that feeling. It still hits me quite often. Feeling like an outsider and not quite part of things seems to be a common trait with a lot of alkies. I have always felt this. But just remember that you are not an outsider with us!

ma hope the presentation goes well.

thanks for replies ladies.

Red, your post cheered me up. For some reason the concept that whilst I am an outsider with my family but part of the gang of my internet alkie buddies has made me giggle. Hope that doesn't offend, it just made me smile!

MsGee you've got to take what you can out of life and if being part of some crazed internet, alky gang is it, well you just go with it! (I have always felt like I didn't quite fit in and at the moment it's so, so true with my family.) Glad I cheered you up!

"I feel terrible. Been vomiting most of the night. I am being self-pitying too. This too will pass, right? My body aches. I hate myself and what I've done. I feel lonely and scared. I've got palpitations. I really need to get myself to work today but I feel really ill. I'm so frightened."

Remember I warned you about flu-like symptoms? This is it. (Wo)man up. Yes, it will soon pass. In the mean time, you are essentially seeing a hangover through to the end.

Here are some other symptoms you might get:

insomnia
loss of appetite
excess or foul-smelling sweat, especially at night
constipation
diaorrhea
bad breath
bad complexion
greasy hair
"racing brain" - inability to stop thinking, thoughts jumping from one palce to another
twitch/tic
shakes
fatigue

None of them are going to last and none of them are going to kill you. If you can't sleep, read a book. Get plenty of B vitamins - you can buy them from the chemist or you can drink Supermalt and eat Marmite. Drink lots of non-alcoholic liquids too as part of the problem will be dehydration.(Note: I obviously don't know how much you drank because you didn't answer that question, nor do I know your general health, build etc. So if you are in any doubt at all, see a doctor or go to A&E - but DON'T DRINK.)

DO

NOT

DRINK

Good post MIFLAW

Have you made it to work noteven? Made a doc's appointment?

Very quiet ladies... hope that means that everyone's having a good day.

Where's mouse? (That normally works!)

morning all!!, finished my call nice and early so im off to AA at lunchtime, missed it last week so im really looking forward to seeing everyone!

thats a good post miflaw - reminds me of why i dont want to drink!, the thought of feeling like that again ughh - one of the things that sticks out most in my mind is the sweating , ugh, it was horrible, all clammy and cold and hot - i never want that again!

last night before the meeting we had a meal in a wine bar - there were 2 blokes in there - all suited and booted - their evening started off quite well, by the time we left, one had been asked to leave because of the mess he had left in the gents and the otherone was sitting on the pavement having (trying, he couldnt speak!) a right old row on the phone with what was proberbly his wife, going by what he was shouting - i never ever want to get like that again - they must feel dreadful this morning, one of them proberbly has a great deal of apologising to do (oh, i know what that feels like!), its thursday so they should be in work, feeling and smelling like deepfried dog shit - not a way i want to live anymore, i like this feeling in the morning!, i wake up feeling rested, calm and looking forward to my day - its really nice!

noteven - you can feel like that too!!, just for today

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

JWN enjoy your meeting. I liked the story about the 2 blokes (if 'like' is the right word, I think you know what I mean!) Ugh the shame, the embarrassment, the sweats, the shakes. It brings it all back!

Morning everyone, Hi steam Hope your feeling OK Noteven

Well I managed not to drink anything last night for the first time in "weeks" years. Realised I was much calmer this morning sorting out the kids for school so hoping I can make it a regular thing.

God I've been there where those 2 blokes were, oh yes that was me on Saturday!

Red sorry you are going through the same thing with your family. How is everything at the moment?

zany well bloody done. And now, today, you can make that choice again...

MsGee not spoken to them for weeks. They are pretty much on XH's 'side' re the divorce and now that I have run away and shacked up elsewhere I am not their favourite person. Funnily enough! How did your weekend go overall? (Apart from having to stay in a hotel, grr.)

What is it with families and divorce! My sister took 'sides' when I split up from XH, even to the point of inviting him and his new girlfriend to a party with all my family and I wasn't invited because they didn't like my partner at the time.

Caused massive family problems and I'm not sure I will ever forget being excluded from my own family on New Years Eve :(

Hi guys,

I have just caught up with the rest of yesterday, and this morning.
I am a bit manic today, trying to get too many things done at once, but at least I have the energy for it. Actually, I feel a bit funny (Anxious, butterflies) this morning. It might be too much coffee, but also I am going to be on my own all night, as well as all day, and feel a bit scared that I will do something I shouldn't!! (bit pathetic, eh?)

Ma you are doing well, and not pathetic at all (funny how many of us say that). Can I tell you why I post my days on here.. It's not because I feel clever or proud of myself at all. It's because, I find it really hard to do what I am doing, harder than DH knows, and because I am completely honest on here, when I write it down I know it's true, if that makes sense. I write it down because I am scared (that doesn't make sense, does it), but that's how I feel.

Sooo....day 22 and I think it's going to be a hard one. You go ma, you are doing just as well as anyone :)

noteven how are you?
I must write down everyones names so that I can speak without losing all my post when I go back a page! :)

zany that's awful Are you close to your sister/ family now?

Hi thurso, it's so great that you can be honest on here and that you can recognise that today/ this evening may be tricky. Make sure you have plenty of nice soft drinks, something nice to eat, have a relaxing bath (all the usual tricks!) and lock yourself in the house if the urge to buy booze hits!

Thanks Red,
In need of any clothes yet?

I'm off to hydro and physio so will catch up later. xx