The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Players and Supporters Bus

[venusandmars]

Hi I am venus and I am an alcoholic.

Thanks to the first thread by Jesuswhatnow I have not had a drink for a long time.

There are lots of us on here, please lurk, post, whatever does it for you. If you are worried about how much you drink and your inability to stop when you want to, then someone on here can probably understand.

Take care xx Hope everyone sleeps well xx

Take care, Another, I read Silver's last post as to me, which I now see it wasn't, so I might now regret the last kiss.

Still having a bit of a struggle, not helped by just not being able to keep any food down. I have slept more already than the night before though. Woken up twice absolutely drrenched in sweat (TMI, sorry) and still got palpitations. I think I am going to take DD to nursery which means I will have to phone the surgery. Work are going to be so cross but I cant go in like this. My last working day is Thursday and I am meant to be moving and packing. I still dont have a CM for when we move. It is all so incredibly overwhelming which is why I feel so panicky I think. Maybe dr's will help today - I hope so. It feels such a mess and it makes me feel so desperate.

noteven It is good that you are getting some rest - that can only help. Sounds like the 'flu is running its course. Work will have to accept that you are unwell - would they really want you to come in and spread 'flu - definitely not. Do you have someone/company to help with the move? Could you DD go to the Nursery even though you won't be at work - could you ask? Really hope that your GP is a help and you begin to feel more in control. Take care.

Spoke to samartians and made a made a better plan - I can take DD in to nursery even if not at work, it's paid for. Going to take her in early and then will be at dr's for 8:30. I am going to be honest about how I really feel.

Spoke briefly to my mum who was desperately unsupportive (she doesn't know about the alcohol) so I am not going to tell her at least for now out of self-preservation.

I will be off out in a bit and will let you know how it all goes.

noteven Nursery for DD sounds good - you will know that she is safe and will be able to focus on getting the help you need. If you don't have anyone in RL that you can talk things through with we are here and it seems that the Samaritans has come through for you so do try them again if you feel things are spiralling again. Fingers crossed that doctors goes well - it might be worth asking for a double appointment so that you don't feel pressed for time.

well done noteven you are doing all the right things: getting some sleep, calling the samaritans and talking to someone, going to the docs, speaking to your mum. I understand how frustrating it feels when these things don't go as you hope they would, but you are doing exactly the right thing to try every approach to et the help you need and want. I hope today is a little easier for you.

Morning to all the others on this bus.

Thank you all. I am so grateful.
I have an appointment with my own doctor. Hopefully they will help. I am sat here sobbing.

noteven I really feel for you. I think you are coping so incredibly and been brave, honest and so obviously love your DD more than anything. You will be magnificent and unstoppable in following your dreams and needs when you have conquered the drinking. Whoooppeeeee!

I would say that if your mother (or anybody else for now) isn't going to be 100 per cent supportive of you, then don't contact them. They will bring you down, not help your resolve and you must only lean on people who will help you for now.

Having said that, do you not feel you could tell your mum about the alcohol? Maybe she needs to know. But only you know her and how she might react. If she is likely to make you feel worse about yourself then don't and as I say, keep contact to a minimum or, at least, don't hope or expect support so that it isn't crushing when it isn't given!

As for work, don't worry if they are going to be cross. You have a lifetime to get your working life back on track once you have got through this crisis and it is far more important that you do what you are doing so well right now - tackling this demon full on and with all your amazing strength.

Noteven, I am finding myself wondering if there is anything practical that I can do. Moving and flu are enough in themselves to warrant much sympathy. I'll pm you.

morning everyone - noteven how you feeling today?

back to a bit of normality and less stress here - the parents have gone back to england and we are back into usual routine now.

back on day 1 again as well...although I haven't actually been drunk since I came on the bus and have been stopping at 2 and controlling myself. so perhaps better than I am thinking!

not much else to add - hope everyone else doing ok and JWN how's that bunting looking? advent calendars made here this morning (2 boys = 48 bloody little gifts in bags!!!).

morning!!

feeling really good here - am off in to the world of commerce in a minute!, ready to kick arse!!

bunting looks 'ok' - i have to say im no earth mother though, i have always bought dd those crappy advents with the chocolates in them!

see you later babes!!

JWM, am just off to post a chocolate Advent calendar to my 20 yr old

Biancab, I have just realised that you used to be Daddy. I have been reading your new name as bicarbonate, and was going to suggest that you two tried to meet up.

I am a bit confused. Is Noteven moving house this Thursday or am I confusing her with another babe?

Morning Campers

Gerald is all set to go - find your seats and settle down - NO FIGHTING ON THE BACK SEAT - off to Northumberland we go

Wasandie - have you got the microphone?

Mouse - have you got the bacon butties and flasks of tea/coffee

Thurso, I heard a very good suggestion this weekend for preventing the angst of babies going to Uni. Send them to boarding school at 7.

noteven what time is your appointment? Can you write out the things that you would like to say to the doctor - about your flu, about your drinking, about wanting support from alcohol services, about trying to go to AA. Maybe print out some of this thread if that helps. It might make it easier to make sure that you get your point across, and you won't have to worry so much if you get upset.

Please be strong for just a little while longer, and if your doc does not suggest the type of help you need, then let him/her know.

Forthe

Morning lovely babes,

RWhites and AnotherMum welcome to the bus.

maddogs welcome back! Glad that you are doing well!

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who stood up for me on Friday. It did make me feel a bit shaky at first, seeing my life laid bare like that was a bit... bleak and I felt very exposed. But then I thought, 'Fuck it!' So I am fine.

It has taken me ages to get through all the posts from this weekend but I am glad I did. Very excited about the trip to Northumberland!

Morning everyone. Can I have my bacon really crispy please :)

Forthvery what puppy have you got?

Thinking of you Noteven let us know how you are

Things look a bit brighter with my DP. He is coming over this evening to talk. He is also willing to babysit DD so I can go to AA. He is still calling me 'sweetie' which is our pet name which may or may not be significant. I am hoping we can pull through this. But, I have to do it for me, not for him.

I have seen the dr who says I will feel like this for days if I stop cold turkey. He says he will do detox if it is supervised ie. someone is here at least overnight. So, I have to ask my DP if he'll do that and go back to the dr's with him tonight.

He's given me a small dose of Librium for today. So, no more drinking and a plan.
I'm going to see if they make me really sleepy in which case I'll nap or just take the edge off in which case I'll start with the tidying.

You ladies are so so wonderful and I am really grateful.

Glad you took that attitude Red. I've not even been on this thread long and I thought 'How dare they be horrible'

Wow you sound more positive Noteven, am so glad you are finally getting the help you need.
Morning Red

noteven at last some positive support for you and you so deserve it. Perhaps for now DP can be the RL friend that you need and when you are on more of an even keel you and he can talk about how you move forward. I so hope he will be there for you.

Morning to everyone else - looking forward to a bit of quiet time on the holy island on our journey round Northumberland. Will there be a tea and wee stop on the way?

Morning desire, zany and white!

noteven well done you! You are doing so well and at last you are getting some help. So pleased for you.

forthe am also interested in the puppy! (Is he/ she allowed on the trip to Northumberland?!)