Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Players and Supporters Bus

1000 replies

venusandmars · 16/11/2010 22:56

Hi I am venus and I am an alcoholic.

Thanks to the first thread by Jesuswhatnow I have not had a drink for a long time.

There are lots of us on here, please lurk, post, whatever does it for you. If you are worried about how much you drink and your inability to stop when you want to, then someone on here can probably understand.

OP posts:
notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 11:04

thurso you are such a star. An hour at a time, right?

thursoback · 17/11/2010 11:06

Katie, is there anyone that you trust completely, who you can all on at the moment, if not, stay on here, I have to go to work in a minute, but others will be around. DON'T DRINK ANYMORE in case you hurt yourself. YOU DESERVE ALL THE SUPPORT, at the moment I don't think you can choose anything, so 1- chuck the drink away NOW
2- drink some water, if you can
3- try and have a sleep
with DD

thursoback · 17/11/2010 11:11

Katie, Noteven Yup, not even (!!) an hour at a time, just try 10 minutes, then another 10 minutes, and so on.
You WILL feel better by this afternoon, even if you have a hangover, you will know that you have kept yourself and DD safe.
Sending you the power, matey, I tell you I am on day 21, and still have very, very tricky times.
Back later.
Take care. xx

RedMoomin · 17/11/2010 11:12

Katie you are not hopeless. You are suffering from an horrendous illness - alcoholism. You deserve all our support - when you start to feel better you will give it back to the next person who needs it.

Please, please try to get rid of the remaining booze. It will only make it worse. Is there anyone in RL that could come round and get rid of it if it's too hard for you?

notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 11:13

There's no one.
But I will follow your advice. I feel all shivery, I guess that's normal? DD ok, reading books with me and snuggling.

RedMoomin · 17/11/2010 11:15

Katie good girl re getting rid of the evil stuff. Now I want you to try to have some soup at lunchtime. I know you have been sick but your poor body needs some nourishment and you might be able to keep it down. Totally normal to feel shivery, alcohol sweats and loads of other pleasant things! But just remember, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 11:15

Thank you. Crying, and re-reading.

There is no-one local. As DD was abused by her father's new partner in March. I am stupid to do anything that won't help her.

ZanyWany · 17/11/2010 11:16

Hi Katie you aren't stupid of hopeless. Cutting down or giving up alcohol is a huge step when your used to drinking alot (as I should know). You will get there by taking lots of little steps and you've already come a long way by posting on here how you feel and admitting to yuorself and to us that you have a drinking problem. Take today bit by bit, why not tell yourself you won't drink for the next hour, get something else to drink in he meantime and then see how you feel

notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 11:21

Red and Zany thank you. I am still crying. I am going to try some soup like you suggested. I feel so terrible. The support is wonderful and I am going to take 10 minutes at a time and let myself be helped. jwn your original thread brought me here. Can I really feel good?? Ever again? I can't imagine it. But I really must get into work tomorrow.

RedMoomin · 17/11/2010 11:24

Katie I am so sorry to hear what happened to DD. What a bloody nightmare. I can promise you though that once you get sober you will be able to handle even the most awful sitations far more easily. Have you got rid of the booze?

I am ordering you to keep posting and/ or re-read all Brave Babes threads! That should keep you out of trouble Smile

I will be going for lunch at 12 but will be back with you at 1pm.

RedMoomin · 17/11/2010 11:26

Cry all you want lovely. You are actually feeling at the moment instead of drowning it with more booze. You can do this.

notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 11:37

Thank you. Struggling. But no more alcohol.

Mouseface · 17/11/2010 11:38

Katie

I'm glad you've stopped drinking. Take your time and be gentle with yourself. I'm sorry to hear about your DD being abused.

You are clearly feeling very raw at the moment and a lot of emotions will keep bubbling up to the surface.

Your daughter has YOU. She needs you and you her. You can do this for her, if not yourself just for today, just for a few hours.

So, how about for the next few hours you get you both some lunch, stick on your PJs and a find a film to watch together, snuggled on the sofa?

You are dealing with so much at the moment. And, in your heart, you KNOW that drinking will only ever make things worse.

Fanstastic as the drink is for numbing out painful memories or thoughts, it only serves to cause more in the long run.

Take care of YOU. xx

notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 11:53

Thank you Mouse and Red

We are getting by an hour at a time

And your thoughts help hugely

RedMoomin · 17/11/2010 11:54

Right lunchtime for me (make sure you have that soup Katie) everyone play nicely on the bus while I'm gone!

RedMoomin · 17/11/2010 11:55

Not a problem Katie we have all been to there to one extent or another.

notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 12:06

OK. Thank you. DD whinging though ....

jesuswhatnext · 17/11/2010 12:10

katie!, i have nothing to add except this

YOU CAN DO THIS!!

TODAY IS YOUR NEW BEGINNING - GRAB IT!!

Mouseface · 17/11/2010 12:12

Katie - I'm sure you are more than a tad fragile currently so DD may be picking up on that.

Try to stay calm and just relax with her today. As long as you both eat, why not forget about the rest of the day?

Just have a really chilled day enjoying being with each other, drawing, watching tv, reading stories, making cakes or even mud pies!

Whatever it takes to just have some fun today? Smile

TheSleepFairy · 17/11/2010 12:19

Hello katie not been around today as I really needed to catch up on some dreaded housework but I have had a catch up. Did you manage to make anything to eat yet?

I found an empty bottle of wine behind the sofa whilst hoovering, first thougt was thank god I found it & not one of my little girls.

Minute by minute for me, gradually turning into day by day. Day 3 for me so still very nervous.

desiretochange · 17/11/2010 12:22

Agree with Mouse, children do have a habit of picking up on your mood and acting out so do as Mouse says Katie and have as chilled a day as possible.

notevenasparkler · 17/11/2010 12:27

So true Mouse
We struggling through the day.....
Thank you SO MUCH for those who have helped me.

desiretochange · 17/11/2010 12:28

:):) at bottle of wine behind couch, well done on not drinking it sleepfairy and if you have some spare time my house could always do with a good clean Wink

dementedma · 17/11/2010 12:38

Katie hi, how are you doing. Going to be day one for me again after last night. Cannot use elderly father as reason excuse for drinking.
apologies to those I unloaded my emotional baggage on last night and thank you for your ssupport. Feeling stronger today - nearly had a panic attack when I thought the bus had driven off without me this morning but I found you!!

MIFLAW · 17/11/2010 12:41

Woah there! I hate being misquoted.

You absolutely did NOT choose this for you and her. The whole point of alcoholism is that you DON'T have a choice. Once you pick up your first drink you are pretty much done for.

The only choice you have is this - and making it in itself won't guarantee it will happen. This will involve effort.

If you are ready to make that effort then here is the choice you need to make.

First of all, what and how much do you drink in a week and how is it spread out? It won't actually change the decision but might change how you go about carrying it out.

Pick a time within 24 hours of now that you are going to stop. Not cut down - not alternate drinks with water - not keep a bloody drinks diary - not all the shit that the NHS told you to do years ago and you never quite managed - STOP.

When you stop, you are going to make a decision to stop until you go to bed that night. i.e. if you choose to do it immediately you are saying you are not going to drink for the rest of the day; if you choose the minute you wake up tomorrow you are saying that, all day tomorrow, you are not going to drink.

Right. Your priority then is NOT to drink, WHATEVER IT TAKES. That means don't buy any drink; throw away any drink you already have; any drink in the house that belongs to someone else you are going to hide in the garage or loft; if necessary, you are not going to leave the house till the off-licence shuts tomorrow night. If you want a drink, have a cup of tea; watch a film; kick a box; have a coke; eat an entire box of chocolates; take your child to the playground; you are going to do absolutely ANYTHING except have a drink.

My advice would then be to go to an AA meeting and, whether you speak or not, just stay till the end; but I know that AA is not for everyone. So, if you don't go to AA, you need to speak to someone else about how you are feeling. You can do that on here; you can phone a friend; you can phone the Samaritans; you can phone AA without actually attending; you can talk to a dead relative. But TALK and then LISTEN. If it can be with someone else who has had a run-in with drink, so much the better.

When you get to the end of the day without having a drink, you are going to try to feel grateful for the fact. If you are religious, pray and say thank you; if you are not, just say out load, "thank FUCK for that." Then go to bed.

The day afterwards you will wake up feeling flu-like. But you are now free if you want to. You can make the same decision again. And again.

One day at a time YOU CAN BEAT THIS - as long as you don't make the mistake of thinking that the fact that you've stopped means you're "cured". Always remember - you stopped BECAUSE you couldn't control it.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread