The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Players and Supporters Bus

[venusandmars]

Hi I am venus and I am an alcoholic.

Thanks to the first thread by Jesuswhatnow I have not had a drink for a long time.

There are lots of us on here, please lurk, post, whatever does it for you. If you are worried about how much you drink and your inability to stop when you want to, then someone on here can probably understand.

venus make the call, I am sure it will be fine. (This coming from someone who could be known easily as Red Ostrich)

venus I hope you don't feel too disappointed, I know that you inspired me a great deal when I met you. So even if you were just a shadow of that you would have been great.

And the phone call won't be as bad as you think

red hello

noteven hope you feel better

Quick wave to everyone. DH not so down any more as completely the opposite, a bit manic. All very strange.

Not any time to chat just wanted to say hi and hope you are all ok and that Nemo is ok

Does daddywillbehomesoon have a new name? I am trying to keep up with threads but have no time so not sure?

Hi christi just lovely to hear from you. Hope you're OK too.

Hey red I love you! Good to hear from you too, it looks like lots has been going on in your life from what I've skimmed, keep bright and strong.

Hey Christi - just a thought - could he be bi-polar - up and down (my Dad was severe with it) - might be worth checking it out - can be controlled with medication xxxxxxx

Yes, am thinking that, we have massive 2 hour psychiatric assessment tomorrow. Really hoping not.

christi all a bit mad but managing to mainly keep away from the booze! I hope that everything goes well with DH tomorrow.

silver hello! Was it you that was talking about smoking under the extractor fan upthread?! Made me laugh - am also a smoker. Another reason that 5pm cannot come quick enough

am much more undeserving of help than everyone else, because I have nothing really to blame it on.

No one really has anything to blame it on because, however hard your life, alcohol abuse is going to make it worse, so it's a very illogical response to hardship. That is one of the reasons why many of us find the "mental illness" explanation of alcoholism so compelling.

Be honest - if you were a street sleeper and actually thinking logically, would you honestly say, "Hell, my life's hard, I've only got £3 till tomorrow to cover EVERYTHING -clothes, food, shelter - I know! I'll spend it on four cans of White Lightning!" It's madness, pure and simple.

red twas me - too feking cold to go outside last night!!

Christi - I think that you will feel better as soon as you have a diagnosis for DH. And if it is Bi-Polar - can be controlled with medication - you just need to know (and DH) what you are dealing with xxx

HI

Well I guess I will be back to day 1 again on monday as got things on until then and already had a few. How is everyone tonight

Hey Zany - here, have a snuggle with

So, what made you pick up tonight? You ok?

Hi everyone.
The dr reckons it's flu. And that I don't drink enough for Librium, or full on DTs. Hmmm. I was really honest too. I feel sick tonight and I am being strong for DD. I am so grateful for the handholding.

hello!!, had a quite a good day here, went to meeting - literally fell over someone on the pavement - a guy i met when i first started going, poor guy was in a miserable way, stunk to high heaven, i had a moment of panic, couldnt think what to do so dragged him (really!) to the meeting and passed him over to the other men - the last 2 days i have seen more than enough to know i dont ever want to lose myself again!

on a bright note, dd has been interviewed for a new course, shes is so excited about starting it, im quite pleased too, its only 2 full days a week in london which means she will still be living at home, i proberbly still wont see much of her but at least she wont be going to live miles away!

mouse - i so wish i lived near you, i would love to be a practical help to you, i feel so useless for you!, hope nemo is a little better this evening!

im off to bed now, ive been fighting a headache all day, i think i will let it win now!

see you in the morning - sleep well all!!

L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Noteven I remember an interview with Frank Skinner where he said he stopped drinking - was alcoholic - when he had flu, and has not drunk since (many, many years). So for today no drinking and tomorrow maybe make the same choice for you. Keep yourself cosy, plenty to drink (non-al) and get well soon.

night all. 2 glasses of wine and off to bed, so much for not drinking (again)

Had 5 units tonight. Feel annoyingly sober. There's still 2 cans of lager in the fridge but I know they won't make me feel any better, so not planning on having them.

I know what my trigger was tonight. STBXH upset me tonight so I drank. I had let him in to my heart again as he's been sending loads of texts telling me how stunning I am and how noone compares to me etc etc. Then he said something tonight which made me all insecure again, so I bloody drank. Lesson learnt: keep my distance.

Will be going to bed soon.

Embracing some ex's only ever want to make you feel amazing just so they can bring you down again. My excuse for drinking a whole bloody litre of wine is that a friend came round, who doesn't even drink!!

Seeing date guy again tom so will probably drink then too :(

Hope your all OK

And I really really really needed the phone app tonight. Not even had enough to admit what a fool I have mad of myself AGAIN

Thanks zany

No, you won't 'probably' drink tomorrow. It's not pre-ordained.

Decide now that you won't.

I know I should but on a friday night I know I won't. Am very nervous now about the text I sent :(

JWN great news about your DD and well done with looking after that poor chap as well. I went to a pub for a meal with DH this evening and had an interesting time working out which customers were the 'alkies'. Of course I had never noticed how obvious it was before, when I was in that group myself.

Well done to everyone who hasn't had a drink tonight, will join you again soon :)

I've been reading and re-reading the last couple of days posts and the original thread.
Insomnia and diarrhoea - actually, a lot of MIFLAWs list. Really struggling.
venus I think I am at a massive decision point and I really appreciate the support and electronic hand holding. I am really unsure as to how to approach real-life hand holding. I guess if DP leaves me over this it was probably not meant to be. I didn't tell my mum nearly everything. I don't think I can make it to work today which will make 4 days off - 3 because of DD and her fit but today it's down to me I think. I really want to see my own GP if I can (was emergency dr yest) as am shaky and struggling. Am hating myself, and wanting to hurt myself, but I need to not do that and not drink for my lovely girl's sake.

DD woke at 5:15.
She still very cuddly. I am still very lost. And maybe still a bit under the influence. IDIOT. Idiotidiotidiot.

Normality? Me?