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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have got myself into something (good) but not sure what to do now

144 replies

AmazingConfusing · 05/11/2010 15:14

Am slightly lurky, well not much of a poster, but anyway have name changed for this.

I've been bursting to tell someone but have sat on it all week and don't know quite what to do now. Last weekend I stayed with some friends of friends, and there was someone there who I'd had a crush on when I was really quite young. We got talking and I found I really, really liked him, and one thing led to another and we spent the night together. Well he went back to his room in the early morning so people wouldn't know.

He is 53 and as far as I could tell, not attached (I did check before doing anything) though he has been married in the past. I thought, well for one night, it won't matter, but he texted me today to say that he is keen to fly up from London tomorrow to see me and wants to leave on Monday morning. He doesn't actually live in Britain so I'm not under any illusions about this but I don't know what to do.

I don't think he can be much of a catch (53 and not ever really settled) for various reasons and I know it's just because I quite liked shagging him Blush and it would be quite convenient as mum has dd for the weekend.

I just feel like a bit of a sad slapper because he was on tv when I was a student and I can't quite believe it and actually am cringing and can't tell anyone I know. I do like him and if it weren't for that then I wouldn't hesitate.

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 05/11/2010 15:27

It's Karl Kennedy isn't it. Notorious man whore that one

AmazingConfusing · 05/11/2010 15:28

Oh please someone help
This is quite far outside my sphere of experience!

OP posts:
AmazingConfusing · 05/11/2010 15:53

Oh my
I am so so embarrassed
Namechangeing back

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 05/11/2010 16:00

Am I right???? Shock

purplepeony · 05/11/2010 16:01

You need to explain more.
Are you saying that this bloke is a minor celeb, and you fancy a shag, so you are tempted to see him?

Your post is a bit contradictory as you say he can't be much of a catch ( why? because he is 53- younger than me! or because he is divorced?) then you say you just want a shag.
which is it?

Do you have ideas about something longer term, or are you just happy for (another) 1-night thing?

Also- do you really like him as a person or are you over-awed by who he is, if he IS anyone?

It's not Peter Purves off Blue Peter is it?

Taghain · 05/11/2010 16:01

So you're worried about what other people will think, rather than anything else?
You liked him, you liked the sex, he likes you or he wouldn't go to the effort of flying to see you, SAY YES

1234ThumbScrew · 05/11/2010 16:08

I think BooBoo hit the nail on the head.

simonedeboudoir · 05/11/2010 16:09

Why do you feel like a sad slapper? Why are you cringing?

It sounds exciting, I'm Grin for you

Unless it's Brian Tilsley

purplepeony · 05/11/2010 16:12

Being very practical- I hope he came with a condom- or you did!

whenallelsefailsmaketea · 05/11/2010 16:27

Someone posted Regina Brett's 45 Life Lessons last week and number 14 applies: If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it!

Why can't you tell anyone? It sounds potentially lovely.

purplepeony · 05/11/2010 16:33

you can tell me cos if it is Karl K or even Brian T I have never heard of either so won't be impressed.

BeerTricksPotter · 05/11/2010 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBlaBlah · 05/11/2010 16:53

2 nights as your first date is a bit keen alright.

simonedeboudoir · 05/11/2010 17:02

Amazing you've asked for our help and we're trying to give it

And I can't bear this suspense

Come back!

purplepeony · 05/11/2010 17:16

maybe it's a troll?

simonedeboudoir · 05/11/2010 17:20

Oh ffs Blush

HystericalMe · 05/11/2010 18:35

?

phipps · 05/11/2010 18:42

Stop caring about what other people think. IME people but into other peoples relationships far too much.

beingsetup · 05/11/2010 19:53

Yea shag him and have fun age is just a number!

AmazingConfusing · 05/11/2010 22:12

So glad someone replied!

OK 'minor celeb' is too strong. He was in a tv series 20 years ago, not a big thing and not as a lead, and did a couple of other things at the time and then disappeared, I think because the things he was in weren't very good. I went to see him in a play roundabout or just after that time (because I had this crush on him) and I thought he was really good. Anyway, it turns out he moved abroad and has another career now. It was very weird walking into the house and being introduced to him Confused inside I was thinking 'oh my god I used to fancy you SO much' while outside I was trying to be normal.

I feel a bit sad because I googled him (to find out if he is married or if there's anything I should know Blush) and there is a sort of fan site and it's real middle-aged women stuff. I suppose I feel a bit like a groupie or something, not that I'd even thought of him for two decades.

I don't think it is going to come to anything because as I said he lives abroad and I guess wants a bit of fun for a couple of nights? You don't get to 53 without having settled down if you don't have a kind of relaxed attitude to these things. I am not really a fling sort of person and I am a bit out of my depth. But I decided to see what happens so I texted him back and said come and I am around for Saturday anyway.

I do actually really like him and we did hit it off so it won't be a waste of time I hope? Oh and we did use a condom two and I'm not bothered by age except as I said that he is probably quite flighty to be his age and not settled or having at least had a proper marriage (according to google his was just a year).

I am so nervous, haven't been on a date for literally years.

OP posts:
fizzfiend · 05/11/2010 22:31

go for it...have fun....emotions are there to be shoved up and down that roller coaster not put on a flatline until you die.

ps. you should be flattered that he finished the job at 53 anyway!

pps OMG Brian Tilsley...I forgot about him....he was such a sleaze!!

QuintessentialShadows · 05/11/2010 22:35

But do tell somebody real life that he is coming. As we dont want to have any sad announcements about the demise of Amazing

AmazingConfusing · 05/11/2010 22:35

I intend to have a great time Grin I have been studying for the past 2 years and doing some nannying for a friend and I haven't had a lot of fun.

Shock He didn't have any problems even at his age! Staying power is a wondrful thing Blush

OP posts:
AmazingConfusing · 05/11/2010 22:45

QuintessentialShadows I shall tell my mum where I am. She has dd for the night and knows now that I have a date.

OP posts:
Gettingagrip · 05/11/2010 22:46

God...can I just say something?

53 IS NOT OLD AND OVER THE HILL.

Thankyou.

As you were.