AIBU to think DH is having an affair

[Saro]

OK this is a bit harrowing and maybe I am just paranoid. DH seems to be receiving and sending lots of texts to a colleague of his. OK I have been a bit of a snoop, and read some old emails after I saw some text from this colleague, saying she was lonely, and another one arranging to meet at lunch time. The emails seem as if they are very familiar with each other, and there was a period about 6 months ago, with lots of x's at the end of the emails and some love.
Ok, I am scared to confront him, and find out that he wants her and not me, also I have male colleagues who I am friendly with, but I certainly will not be signing with an x when sending an email.

No you're not being unreasonable but you need to say more about what is happening.

If it helps, the definition of an unsafe friendship/emotional affair is when:

• There is secrecy, either about the friend's existence or the content of their interactions.
• There is sexual chemistry.
• She knows more about your marriage than you know about their relationship.

If it fits the above criteria, IMO this is usually merely a prelude to a combined affair, involving emotions and sex.

The only time I recommend not confronting is if a spouse thinks their H will lie and therafter, cover his tracks. In that case, getting incontrovertible evidence before confronting makes absolute sense. However, a confrontation must happen at some point, unless you can tolerate infidelity of any kind in your marriage.