It has just dawned on me that my husband has absolutely no idea how hard I work looking after three kids under 4 whilst running my own business. I want to punch the useless twat !!

[OnEdge]

I am looking after a 3 year old, a 16 month old and a 7 weeks old day and night. I do the nights because he has to be fresh for work in the morning.

I also run my own business which brings home around the same money each month as him

I have just asked him to do some long overdue jobs tomorrow including putting a blind up. He said he could not do that and look after the kids I asked him why not. I have to do all the daily chores whilst looking after them and on little or broken sleep.

We have had the baby 7 weeks and have not sent out the birth announcement cards yet because we have lost the address book. His sister is coming round tomorrow with hers so I just asked him if he would write down allof his family's address`s straight onto the envelopes and he got really cross. He said " Oh RIGHT !! Thats ANOTHER job for me to do !"

So it hasn't occured to him that if he doesn't do it I will have to and that that is OK ??? I feel like a second rate person now.

It has just made me realise he is cluless as to what goes on in this house every day and the division of labour is very far from equal.

What a cunto !

Punch him
you'll feel so much better

He is a cunto (smashing word ) and you are superwoman! Can't believe what you achieve on a daily basis

Are we married to the same man?! Mine's in the huff upstairs about something so trivial I can't even bother typing the words to describe it.

I can't really add anything, apart from to say I feel your pain. Can you agree on a rota or division of labour in some way? (That noise is my hollow laughter at that pathetic attempt at a solution btw). Hopefully someone will be along soon with The Answers

Write down everything that you do and everything that he does and then present him with the list next time he complains about having to do something.

He also has this habit of sitting on the sofa cuddling the baby with an heir of importance around him and looks at me if something needs doing like "I can't move, I'm looking after the baby !"

She's ASLEEP !!! FFS !! MOVE !!

What goes on in their heads?

Last week, i found myself multi tasking, I was rocking baby with foot, expressing my milk with a pump, cooking supper and talking to a customer on the phone. That useless knob slopes off to his office to do his job.

If I try and sort it out I'm nagging.

I am now just a big shouty woman.

er think it's time to leave the house, him and the kids at 9am one saturday morning and return at 9pm... while he looks after the kids.

and leave him a list of all the jobs you do, the total hours' work you do each week and the going market rate for cleaners, serviced laundrette washes and childminders.

Sorry onedge you have just identified all the reasons why I don't want a third child. I do all you do but with 2. My DH has no idea at all..... much sympathy.

ROFL at heir of importance :)

You shouldn't do as much as you are doing, of course. Tell him you will do everything in the home if he does all the earning. Or vice versa. Or you split it equally. Or you divorce him. See what he says.

and another fucking thing right !

He will say he has done loads of house work. So I look puzzled and ask him what???

"The washing"

Its done by a bastard MACHINE.
Its ironing the shit and putting it away that is the hard work. You would think he had carried it all 10 miles to the river bank to wash it by hand. He doesn't even take it out of the dryer and flatten it, he leaves it in there until it is nice and creased causing me MORE work.

You are not a shouty woman. You are a superwoman juggling a family, home, a business, a baby, breastfeeding and the lion's share of the work. He, on the other hand, is not. He requires a slap round the face with a wet fish and a kick up the backside.

What is your business? You are indeed siuperwoman

and then he mopes about wanting sex !

I want to stab you man, never mind shag you

Does he look all hurt and wounded and surprised when you spurn his advances?

Op you are being punished for being too efficient and I feel your pain. Perhaps you could go off on a business trip for a few days, with baby if necessary , and leave him to it.
Yes what is your business?? Nosy emotion

I am a nurse and I provide a service performing a "procedure" privately. I cover England and Wales and so 2 weekends a month I travel all weekend from one patient to the next. But because i am a soft twat I arrange for family to come round for 3 hours each day that I am away to give him a break

So he still has no idea what it is like.

When I come home late Sunday, I look round and nothing is done. He just looks after the kids. They don't get bathed or anything, just the basics. He has even been known to put them to bed in their clothes

And everyone says how marvellous he is and good with the kids wow - man looks after own kids for a weekend !! WITH HELP !!

Its a God damn miracle !!

I have never laughed so hard in ages

NOT at the problem op, just how funnily you put it across. The washing thing gets me too, dh actually phoned me when i was 2000 miles away to ask which was the washer and which was drier, they book have round holes he said, how am i to know

I agree, leave home on Sat first thing and return late, leave him to sample a typical day.

Oh dear lord - does he live in fairyland?

Well done you; I find it hard enough looking after 2 without running a business as well.

I like the ide of leaving him to it one Saturday for 12 hours (see how he copes).

idea, not ide!

Blimey! And your expressing to cover the weekends your working? I take my hat off to you. It must be sk hard being away from the kids, especailly the littliest

A "procedure"?? Is it just my dirty little mind or what?

Sorry, back to the cunto....

She does leave him for two weekends a month!

My dirty mind too Maisy.

By the way, is Morningside still as beautiful?

Wow am intrigued, is someone doing 'it' in Scotland?

yup my DH is technically proficient enough to work out complex software programmes but he can't work out which number on the washing machine is 'spin' and which is 'tumble dry'. i honestly don't think it's strategic incompetence, he doesn't grasp that there is a difference!

he also doesn't recognise the difference between a SOUP spoon and a SERVING spoon. seriously.

Maisie The other day, I was expressing whilst doing something (forgot now) and ended up with one boob sticking out of bra. I had my hands full and I asked him to shove it back in for me and he said he had enjoyed it

That was his sex, he had to make the most of it