It has just dawned on me that my husband has absolutely no idea how hard I work looking after three kids under 4 whilst running my own business. I want to punch the useless twat !!

[OnEdge]

I am looking after a 3 year old, a 16 month old and a 7 weeks old day and night. I do the nights because he has to be fresh for work in the morning.

I also run my own business which brings home around the same money each month as him

I have just asked him to do some long overdue jobs tomorrow including putting a blind up. He said he could not do that and look after the kids I asked him why not. I have to do all the daily chores whilst looking after them and on little or broken sleep.

We have had the baby 7 weeks and have not sent out the birth announcement cards yet because we have lost the address book. His sister is coming round tomorrow with hers so I just asked him if he would write down allof his family's address`s straight onto the envelopes and he got really cross. He said " Oh RIGHT !! Thats ANOTHER job for me to do !"

So it hasn't occured to him that if he doesn't do it I will have to and that that is OK ??? I feel like a second rate person now.

It has just made me realise he is cluless as to what goes on in this house every day and the division of labour is very far from equal.

What a cunto !

Jesus, you sound like superwoman. I run my own business and have just the one DC and that is hard enough.

Sorry OP but your follow up posts made me snort with laughter in a 'it's funny because it's true kind of way'

It was the 'bastard machine' that tipped me over the edge.

Good luck with the cunto

Can't you just quietly stop doing anything around the home that relates to him? eg, picking up the clothes, washing or ironing anything he uses (including towel), buying anything that he specifically eats or drinks? Eventually he'll notice and you can off-handedly ask if there's a problem with the iron/washing machine, it's free if he wants to use it/he could run to the shop for some if you're out?

or if he wants to just keep buying new socks, that's his problem/budget!

He sounds like he will resist training, why don't you buy in some help? Cleaner or mothers help might be the easiest way for you to get some help that you can depend on and organise.
Make him pay for it of course

i started chucking any discarded clothes of DH's i found on the floor on his side of the bed (where i can't see it) or in his wardrobe, rather than washing it or putting it away. he didn't appear to mind or notice! presumably it found its way into the laundry basket eventually because he didn't complain about having no clean socks. problem solved.

Well I have got a cleaner, she started last week.

She came for 3 hours and I had to go out.

When I got back she had only done the bathroom it had taken her 3 hours. But she had done a great deep clean.

I was in there that evening, and cunto walked in and looked at the shower all confused.

I asked him what was up.

He said that he always thought it was frosted glass

She had cleaned it so well we could now see through it for the first time.

He does his own washing and he irons all his own shirts too. WOW !

You are way too good to him - next time you've got a boob hanging out, tell him he can shove it back in your bra after he's hung the washing out

So, what is this procedure of which you speak (she asks, trying not to sound as if her nosey parkerness has got the better of her) and is there a market for it north of the border?

Yes, Morningside is still as beautiful as ever

! loving the frosted glass comment!

seriously, you need to find a quicker cleaner tho... i had th e merry maids back when i had the cash - they did it so well they only had to come once a fortnight and it lasted until the next visit.. in about 2 hours too.

I don't mind doing what I do, I would just like him to KNOW I am doing it.

The thought and planning and prep that goes into one day is unbeleivable.

When i go to bed I take up a bag with

1. electric breast pump
2. bottles of water and pots of powder.
3. flask of tea
4. bottle for 16 month old

he doesn't know what is in the bag, has no idea that i am mooching about at night.

I did a tesco order on line at 03.00 last week and fell asleep and lost the fekkin lot

He is upstairs snoring his head off.

Sorry i am just ranting now

I put out the kids clothes for him at night . because he will get up at 7 and give me an hours sleep.

I come down at 8 and they aren't dressed.

He couldnt't do it because he was feeding the baby and getting the breakfasts.

one has a piece of fruit loaf without butter or anythig on. The other has a bowl of cereal. The baby has either breast or formula out of a bottle.

Useless.

You also haven't told us what this procedure is. Come on, 'fess up! Which bit of the body does it involve??

well i am a bit scared of anyone recognising me but what the hell.

I am a "travelling Gastric Band adjuster"

Is that a real job??!! sounds amazing, like something off Brazil!

I once met somebody who was an existential therapist and thought that sounded pretty sci-fi but i think you win

How on earth do you do that???! That's just thrown up more questions than it's answered! Do you have a little gadget to reach down to the band?

But seriously: you have to stop babying him. You're doing so much!!! You gave birth 7 weeks ago!!!!!!! do you hear yourself? Do it gently, pretend he is a little boy and you're gently breaking him into the real world so he can be more independent without him realising it, but do it. It's not doing either of you any favours for him to be so unknowingly incompetent.

He does do some small things for you/his children so he's not as fecking useless as some c*nts you hear about, there must be a way.

Its a bit like but not as fast.

OMFG - now why did I click on that? Serves me right for being so nosey

I think you need to threaten him with a gastric band adjustment.

omaoma he is brill mostly, and not your average c**t, just pist me off tonight. I have lost my voice too so I had to sit in silence as he gave me his parting shot of "Another job for me to do" before he went to bed.

I just wish he knew what I do.

I really think that we do it all so well that they know. Like if someone is good at something they make it look easy.

Maisie i have to inject myself with anticoagulants for 6 weeks after birth because I have this thing that makes me prone to clotting. They REALLY fucking hurt, like a bee sting. Cunto said he would do them for me because bee stinging yourself is really hard if you know what I mean cos you are in control and keep stopping yourself.

Anyway, I got everything ready, he walked into the kitchen, stopped dead, gagged and ran out again useless !!!

I feel your pain with that last one, OnEdge - when DH and i were having fertility treatment i had to inject myself twice nightly and it hurt so much that i wanted him to do it - he turned green and said he coudn't - and him a diabetic on injectable insulin!!!

But WRT Cunto - fab word, btw - i'd go on strike. Tell him he had to take the day off work, and then feck off out, leaving him with the kids.

Yep, useless he is!

I've always found we bicker far more when the kids are babies. Lack of sleep, readjusting to a change in family dynamics, hormones etc etc. I've always been very envious of families who glow in the beauty of it all.

Wait til you're feeling less like cutting off his goolies, and then see if you can have a chat about who does what, when (as you were probably going to do anyway!). I'm sure he's not always a cunto, just tonight

I am going to be glowing maisie I am going to cheat and cunto is paying. I am having my eyes lasered, then i am having the semi ermanent eye liner done and eyelash extensions. That will save me about 20 minutes a day of arsing about. I am also having my teeth whitened with a lazer so i will be glowing like fuck then ha haaaa !

deemented So you know all about the lumps and bumps and unsightly bruises on the belly too. Not nice. Once again its us girls who have suffer.

ha haaa yes with electric windows and ABS