Does anyone here consider themselves to be asexual?

[TitsalinaBumPumpkin]

This is something i have been looking at a lot recently i have had a 'light bulb' moment in my life!
Is anyone else here asexual or does anyone have any experience of a relationship betewwn an asexual and a sexual person?

what do you mean by asexual? never had any sexual feelings? never ever found anyone sexually attractive?

Yes.

I find people attractive but I'm so happy to be single and doing my own thing that I intend to be single and have children as such.

have you never ever found anyone attractive? in a sexual way

I can appreciate a good looking person, and i find people personalities attractive but no i never looked at someone and thought 'i want to have sex with that person.'

are you in a relationship at the moment ?

Yes DP is not happy understandably.

I think my friend is asexual. Never so much as passed a comment about anyone of the opposite sex in the 13 years I've known her, it's as if they just don't exist. Very sheltered life. I worry about her, but we haven't spoken about it, I just don't know how to bring it up.

are you happy, tits, with the rest of your relationship ?

Yes with the rest of it except this issue as is has been going on a long time, its like being on a roundabout an unable to get off. I have just 'come out' as it were to dp about asexuality and he isn't happy.

aww, that sounds rough x

Indeed it is, there its a loose loose situation.

Well I haven't had sex for quite a long time but there is always the awareness at the back of my mind that if I want some I know where to go and get some.
Titsalina: you say you had a lightbulb moment. Have you always been fairly uninterested in sex? If you've never really got what all the fuss is about, even when shagging a lovely partner that you liked and had long wanted to get to know better, then you may well be asexual; if you used to enjoy sex and actively look forward to it, then you may not be and the problem is probably due to something else.
Have you had a look on the AVEN site?

Are you me op? Or am I you? Have I stepped in to a parallel universe?

Yes I'm definitely asexual. I can't even remember the last time I had sex.

I have no advice, love, but I am sorry you are feeling bad x

No there has never been anything there, i always thought i was ill or weird but that's because i didn't know asexuality existed.
I have never longed for someone, never lusted after someone. I have looked on Aven and found it enlightening and i am relived that that im not freak.

Unless it is directly in my face (i.e if someone brings it up in conversation) then sex would never enter my head.

Thanks fucker. x

when I asked if you were happy in the rest of your relationship, I was wondering if you just didn't fancy your partner

some blokes are pretty unfanciable, because of their behaviour, their attitude or the way they treat you

libido can be killed stone-dead by such stuff

but I think I may be way-off with that, so will just support you while others give you more relevant insight

Have you ever had a crush, even if was a teenager?

I can think of friends of each sex who I consider asexual. There are in their 40s and never married. I suspect they are quite fine with that.

I have had a crush in the sense that i fancied someone but that is because i have befriended someone and fallen for their wit, intelligence and personality.

I have looked at people and found myself drawn to them because they are beautiful but again i have never felt the urge to touch someone, even hugging and kissing seems alien to me.

Yeah....but i like hugging,cuddling,kissing.....
just can't be arsed with the shagging
AIBU???

You will hopefully find the Aven site helpful. IMO (I'm not a therapist or anything) if you are asexual then that doesn;t mean you're a bad person, it's just another way of being a person. Therapy is probably not the answer any more than therapy to turn a gay person heterosexual is ethical. I don't know your circumstances (and you obviously don't have to share them) but presumably your DP is not asexual - so you may want to think about whether you want to end your couple-relationship or whether you are happy for him to have sex with other people with agreed boundaries (eg no one that you know/not in your home). Because expecting or asking him to remain in a monogamous relationship with you where there is no sex, when he is not asexual, is a very very big ask and just as unfair as him expecting you to remain his partner and allow him to have sex with you when you don't want it.

DP is not asexual, he isnt taking this well. I would never expect him to stay in the relationship if he didn't want to, he says he does want to as every other part of it is perfect.
I would have no issue with him getting sex elsewhere as long as their was mutually agreed boundaries.

I am beginning to accept that im not a bad person or wrong to be like i am.

DP keeps saying i need to get sorted out which is beginning to grate, im not broken i dont need sorting! However i accept that this must be hard for him to take in.

have you told him you would agree for him to find sex elsewhere ?

Yes he wont even entertain the idea, he is getting very stroppy now