What a fantastically brave post, both by yourself and others.
For a good half of my adult life I would have described myself similarly. It didn't make me any less desirous of physical comfort (I liked sleeping with people, cuddling them, waking up with them and having toast to start the day). If anything it made me a better and more widely choosing 'partner'. Yet I felt constantly pressured to justify it as a valid identity, and in some ways it led to the break up of some otherwise nice relationships ('you're not really asexual, nobody is, it must be me').
My situation is different to yours because it passed when I met my current partner, but that doesn't make me any less adamant that it was not a 'phase' but a genuine, heartfelt and honest expression of who I was sexually. There wasn't some magic switch or patch, just a change, in the same way I moved from single to settled, student to teacher, miserable git to vaguely nice person gradually and without the earlier identities being seen as invalid or unreturnable to. A huge thank you for the post, and a bump to all those pressured to believe this is not a real identity but a 'problem'.
Ultimately you and your partner clearly have a problem-not so much in the mechanics of his sex drive (assuming you both have imaginations) but because he may wish to feel desired as well as to desire. But a lot of people who are sexual suffer from not feeling that in sex, it doesn't mean you won't work it out if you wish to.
Courage to you all.