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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Hi everyone.

30 replies

CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 13:20

Quite new to this so be gentle.

I've been having some problems with my other half recently as was beginning to wonder if I was the one at fault.

It's the age old question of how much is too much. (Sex wise)

We currently average around 8 times a fortnight (We are apart every second weekend)

So was wondering if this seems excessive.

Thanks
C

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 19/10/2010 13:22

It's only excessive if one of you feels it is.

Malificence · 19/10/2010 13:24

Not at all, but for every person who would be fine with this amount, there will be another for whom it is not enough, and another who thinks it it far too much.
It sounds about right to me personally.

loopylou6 · 19/10/2010 13:25

It's impossible to say, some people may find once a week excessive what is your real problem? There obviously is one.

Original poster
CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 13:28

I think he wants it more.

I suppose I could put out a bit more, sometimes I just don't have the time.

He helps and does more than his fair share.

Just wondered if I was treating him right.

C

OP posts:
Frrrrightattendant · 19/10/2010 13:29

Is your partner/husband expecting more sex than you are comfortable with, or is it the other way round?

There's no right answer to this - you have to compromise between you somehow, or find someone on the same level as you.

It's never oK if one of you feels uncomfortable about it. I hope this helps.

Frrrrightattendant · 19/10/2010 13:30

crossed posts with you...sorry.

It's not about treating him right - it's about compromise. You need to feel comfortable and if you're too tired, you shouldn't have to feel bad about that. He needs to respect that.

If he won't, you have a problem. Please don't feel guilty or worried that you're not providing enough sex.

Malificence · 19/10/2010 13:31

Sex isn't about you "putting out" Sad, it's about shared pleasure and intimacy.
If he's a decent bloke then he won't want you putting out just for his sake, honest communication is the way forward with this - talk to him.

Original poster
CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 13:34

We do talk, he's not bothered if we don't and doesmn't pressure me. Just want to make sure he's not going to stray.

He hasn't yet and never complains, but sometimes he is 'Up' early in the morning and I wonder if it's because we are 'below average'.

I concentrate on making things special so I don't think he has room for complaint.

Does anyone have any tricks to keep things....special?

Wink
OP posts:
Malificence · 19/10/2010 13:37

All healthy men wake up with erections!
They have 2-5 automatic reflex erections every night. Wink
I'd be very worried if my DH didn't wake up with one tbh.

Original poster
CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 13:40

I'm partial to some morning glory, just not every morning. [Yawn]

OP posts:
Malificence · 19/10/2010 13:42

Just because they wake up with one, doesn't mean they have to do anything with it - they won't explode or anything. Hmm
I can't sleep if I'm not being prodded in the back. Grin

CumGuzzlerLoyal1690 · 19/10/2010 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Original poster
CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 13:46

What!!!!

He told me if I left them he'd need an operation. LOL

Can't fault him really. I just want to make sure I'm everything he'll ever need.

I think I am, espially the air hostess.

OP posts:
Original poster
CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 13:50

CumGuzzlerLoyal1690

You sound like a real charmer.

What are you doing on Mumsnet you pervert?

C

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 19/10/2010 13:50

I thought morning erections were at least partly down to a full bladder?

Perhaps you should let him piss on your back Wink

CumGuzzlerLoyal1690 · 19/10/2010 13:55

This is a site for mums is it not? I am a mum!
I may have old fashioned veiws but who am i to argue with my husband, he treats me well and pays for me to have a good life wich i enjoy so i am happy to be there for him in the bedroom.

You asked for some advice and i gave it you. You clearly are not doing things right in the bedroom and need to buck up youre ideas or you will be on the look out for a new man in the near future.

Malificence · 19/10/2010 13:56

Is that you AF? Grin

A full bladder has little to do with erections - a man's testosterone level is highest in the early morning and, as I said, frequent sleep induced reflex erections are normal in healthy men.

phipps · 19/10/2010 13:56

You don't seem very secure, OP. Do you really believe if he doesn't orgasm with a woke up erection he would need hospital treatment?

SebastiansMama · 19/10/2010 13:58

Cum you are a 15 year old boy, non?

Original poster
CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 13:58

No, of course not.

I like to send him off to his work with a spring in his step.

That bit was a joke.

OP posts:
Malificence · 19/10/2010 14:00

You could fuck him 9 ways till Sunday and he will still cheat if he's that type.

Insecurity is the one of the least attractive qualities in a partner.

Does he make sure you are satisfied sexually? It works both ways you know.

Original poster
CaringSharing · 19/10/2010 14:02

Oh yes, he's a demon with his tongue.

I would 'put out' more but I'm trying to strike up a balance. Make it quality, not quantity.

Is this site only for problems?

I've not really got one, was just looking for tips.

OP posts:
notwavingjusthaunting · 19/10/2010 14:03

Is this one person having an argument with themselves?

JamieLeeCurtis · 19/10/2010 14:04

have a Biscuit

Malificence · 19/10/2010 14:07

If you search you will find lots of good sex tips on old threads.

Great sex isn't about being a performing porn monkey, it's about communication and truly enjoying giving your partner pleasure, half the fun is in knowing how much they are enjoying it.
You could try the book Superhot sex or something similar.
I think that most men are just happy that you actually want sex with them tbh. Smile