Hello. This is my 1st time
so apolgies in advance. I have recently split with my partner of 4 years. He had, during our relationship, hacked my ex's email, hacked my facebook then most recently, while employed on a government contract, abused his extremely well paid position to access text messages from old phones of mine going back 4 years. He also read replies and some of my family's texts, which had piqued his interest.
He then began a cycle of interrogation, accusations followed by episodes of being completely loved and up and wanting his feelings reciprocated. He become increasingly paranoid. He stopped working and "accompanied" me wherever I went. He also demanded to know what and with whom i discussed my personal life...ie. brothers, cousin and objected to this. He knew from reading my texts that i had discussed him being abusive towards me in the past. He had also discovered through reading old texts of mine that at the very beginning of our relationship I had, on several occasions been back with an ex...till I got my head out of my arse and moved on to commit with my new partner and then start a family. At the start of our relationship my new partner had made all the running, full on flowers, gifts turning up unanounced everywhere i went and he wanted instant commitment. In hindsight this is what had me running for cover at the start!
Ok, so i can see he could be hurt by this but as far as I was concerned time had moved on. We'd changed cities, settled down...had a child together, co parented my other 2 and were expecting again. Good income, nice house...future's bright. I honestly explained the circumstances of how confused i'd felt at the beginning. He, however, seemed unconcerned with my feelings, explanations or emotions and instead began obsessing about who knew, who had known...exactly what sexual intimacies had occured when and where and i mean specifics that i could not recall. He could of course having recently read the 4year old texts. When i couldn't recall a specific detail or made a chronological error whilst being questioned i would be branded a liar.
This questioning then extended to even furthur back into the past...20 years back. I'm 40. No answers were ever sufficient. I was a proven liar. He was trying to give me a break but really how could he...everything i said was a lie!He wanted me to come up with 1 big confession...something from my past that he didn't know. This would help repair his trust. This is what he said...he forced these discussions day and night. If i refused he'd say i had something to hide. If i walked away he'd come with me.