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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He made me feel like a prostitute.

72 replies

wellthatswonderful · 30/09/2010 07:37

Vile man.

I had a short term, mostly sex fling a few months back.

I dumped him, he went off, saw someone else for a short while, that didnt work out and then surprise surprise he started contacting me asking if i fancided a shag.

I told him no. He left it a week and asked again, i said not right now and basically its just escelating.
He keeps texting me pics of his cock and telling me about his ' hardening man area' WTF!!!
laughing at him does not seem to discourage him.

He text me yeserday morning, a pornographic text. At 6.30am and also asked if he could come round for a quick shag before my children wake up.

I said i was busy and up with my children already.

He text me at 11:30 last night, another rude pornographic message. I said, ffs, go watch some porn or something. To which i got the reply' fine, whatever'

I text back not the be pathetic, that he was out of order texting me so late and that i was not interested in rude text tennis.

So, then he replied that i could just say it all in one message and then he would leave me alone!!

WTF!!!!

I went back with i am not a text wank service.

And he said he knew that

and i said that please do not treat me like one

and he replied with 'fuck you'

Seriously. What a wanker.

OP posts:

GeekOfTheWeek · 30/09/2010 21:27

Do you think the iPhone does 3d cock videos then?

Kewcumber · 30/09/2010 21:33

Text him "No means NO if you send any more texts or photos I will pass them to the police".

If he sends any more then ... go to the police.

Janos · 30/09/2010 22:01

Sympathies wonderful. But no need to feel guilty, honest.

The best way to deal with this sort of thing is to say 'Please do not contact me again or I will go to the police" - and mean it. I've had to do this.

And those people implying that OP enjoys the attention - don't be ridiculous. Are you so dim that you think women enjoy being harrassed?

Dione · 30/09/2010 22:08

So, then he replied that i could just say it all in one message and then he would leave me alone!!

Yep, and that message is "Contact me again and I will call the police". And if he does, then do it. This is harrassment.

dittany · 30/09/2010 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

wellthatswonderful · 01/10/2010 09:16

He has not text any more. Am hoping the ignoring is working.

If he comes round to my house i will not answer the door.

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 01/10/2010 10:20

Why are you so resistant to telling him that if he contacts you again you will inform the police? It will work. And if you contact the police, they will ask you if you have told him firmly and clearly to leave you alone - I think the law is something along the lines of more than two attempts at contact after the person has been told in unmistakable terms that the contact is unwelcome, makes it harassment upon which the police can act.

RubyPink · 01/10/2010 10:20

Why not just ignore his texts right from the start? if you didn't reply at all I am sure he would have lost interest much sooner...

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 01/10/2010 10:29

Why, why, why would a man ever think that sending a close up of his cock would be a winner? I mean, maybe I'm odd, but a man's genitals always vaguely resemble a prolapse to me. Hardly a man's most attractive attribute

ledkr · 01/10/2010 10:51

this exact thing happened to me and i found even brillaintly cutting replys didnt put him off-he asked for a"dirty picture"i sent a pic of a dog turd etc. Then one day i told my male friedn at work and he rang him up and left a message telling him he will go to the police with the pics if he continues.I never heard from him again. Just ignore him.DH just told me to tell you that.
chickens-i can never understand mens proudness of their dicks which are just pink hairy and sweaty looking and there is no sadder thought than a bloke getting himself all "prepared" before contorting himself to take a picture. Wankers.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 01/10/2010 10:57

Chickens - you have got me thinking now about what photos men could send to have more chance of a positive reaction. The nape of their neck perhaps? Or a nice bit cup of hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows on it?

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 01/10/2010 12:03

I'm old fashioned. I like a handsome face, a twinkle in the eye and a sexy smile. Close up of a knob? No. I can't see James Bond seducing women by taking pics of his todger and sending them via text. It is not big (arf) and it is not clever

fedupwithdeployment · 01/10/2010 12:49

I have spoken to the police very recently about "harrassing" phone calls. Different situation - lots of aggressive calls made to various people at work. Police said that we needed to categorically say, "No more contact" or it would not be possible to pursue (by engaging with them you are deemed to be inviting continued contact). The offence was one of "malicious communications." So if you get another contact from him, tell him in no uncertain terms..."I am busy" won't cut the mustard.

Janos · 01/10/2010 13:02

Ruby - you'd think, wouldn't you?

However, I had a guy like that who I just ignored, thinking surely he will get the message from complete lack of contact that I am NOT INTERESTED.

He just got worse, sending more and more texts and phone calls (which I ignored).

In fact, I posted it on here and got "told off" for not saying 'please do not contact me'.

He didn't leave me alone until I I told him I would contact the police if he kept harrassing me.

jameelaq · 01/10/2010 14:56

Why did you ever go with him in the first place? Didn't you pick up any dodgy vibes?

Remotew · 01/10/2010 15:18

I did contact the police about someone. It wasn't for sex (he had no chance) but for something else. I told him to stop contacting me or I would report him for harrassment. He replied that 'my claims of harrassment are a joke' so I did it. An officer knocked on his door and told him not to contact me again. Had he done so he would have been arrested.

Janos · 01/10/2010 15:28

jameelaq - OP is not responsible for this blokes behaviour. He is!

Where are all the posts saying what a tosser and how dare he? Things seem to be a bit quiet on that front

jameelaq · 01/10/2010 16:39

janos, what makes you think that I think that she is responsible in any way?
Well of course he is and I'm not saying she is responsible in any way but weren't there any warning signs?

fruitshootsandheaves · 01/10/2010 16:43

if he tries again maybe send him a cock picture in return with the message
'and this is mine...you must have the wrong number'..Bob

SolidGoldBrass · 01/10/2010 17:02

Janos: Because the OP said she had a 'mostly sex-based' fling with the man and hadn't initially told him to go away, which suggests that she might have previously welcomed smutty texts from him. So it's not entirely unreasonable for it to be up to her actually to tell him to cease and desist.

jameelaq · 01/10/2010 17:18

Yeah you see Janos. No wonder I didn't understand your post

Janos · 01/10/2010 18:04

SGB. I haven't said it's 'unreasonable' to suggest she tell him to stop. In fact I suggested this course of action upthread as I've had to use it myself.

Anyway, whether the texts were welcome in the past is a moot point. They aren't welcome now.

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