Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

MindFreakette, you are absolutely spot on about the aristocratic wives. Older upper class women seem to have no problem at all with it, although it is weird when they contact you and tell you that they've "Decided that you would be perfect for Tarquin".

None of my friends did the GFE Mandamu. I would be less comfortable with that, but I can see how it would be a useful service for single busniess men/widowers.

I haven't really thought about this before, but the fact that I offer the GFE rather than a more clinical service may explain why I see less married men. The ones for whom the only thing missing at home is sex aren't going to want a realistic date, they just want to be de-spunked and then leg it home to their wives.

The ones who are starved of affection do however seek me out.

I had a guy recently who was quite proud of the fact that he's had several affairs and that he'd only come to me because having affairs was a pain. Apparently these women had been "silly bints who thought I'd leave my wife". He was going on about how he'd never leave his wife because she's a good cook and keeps the house lovely.

He's saved in my phone as "Twat! Never again!"

If you're not sexually satisfied in your marriage, divorce, I say, especially if the kids have grown up. If the kids are still small you can stop yourself acting like a teenager for a few years for the greater good. Being an adult means you can put up with no sex for a while if needs be. I find monogamy very difficult, but I understand that sex is not worth causing such pain to my family. It just isn't, however strong the feeling is and however much I have to "suffer".

BUt if the thought of living together forever with someone who doesn't satisfy you sexually drives you to an open relationship, then I think divorce is the better option. But that's just me.

If you don't divorce, then you have to acknowledge it's a marriage of convenience in many respects. I couldn't handle one of those.

prostitutes clients are lawyers and doctors too, right?
that argument always makes a whore feel better about themselves

oh and the other is that women sleep with men for dinner or a movie etc so are they not just the same as they are

always gives me a good laugh

Manda: how do you know if the married men who come to you 'don't usually get it at home'? Do you discuss this? If so, that's creepy, on his parts and yours. And deeply, deeply offensive to the man's partner who is, presumably in the majority of cases, being lied to or kept in the dark about his cheating?

Well, hang on, though, why does a couple who are perfectly happy to have an open relationship have to "acknowledge that it's a marriage of convenience" except to the extent that it's convenient that they have similar compatible attitudes towards nonmonogamy?

Not being monogamous isn't a character flaw. Cheating - i.e., lying - is. "Marriage of convenience" is a term implying that the couple is married for status/money/logistical comfort, rather than because they love and are committed to one another. That's totally different from a happy couple who sometimes have conensual and open sexual relationships with other people.

I don't usually discuss anything too personal with anyone.

Sometimes information is suddenly offered.

I've had guys come to see me in the past who haven't wanted sex, just hugs and they quite often tell you the back story.

I do get women coming to see me behind their husbands' backs and they're far more likely to give me a run down of how crap their other half is.

Somehow it's seen as fine for a woman to bitch about her husband, but if it's the other way round it's disrespectful. Go figure.

I don't think it's fine. I think it's terrible in both cases. I find the idea of not discussing anything 'too personal' pretty wierd in the context of the sale of sex. Why the distinction between mind and body, especially as you offer 'GFE'.

'I had a guy recently who was quite proud of the fact that he's had several affairs and that he'd only come to me because having affairs was a pain. Apparently these women had been "silly bints who thought I'd leave my wife". He was going on about how he'd never leave his wife because she's a good cook and keeps the house lovely.

He's saved in my phone as "Twat! Never again!"

But he presumably would have been ok if he hadn't told you that? Do you think most of the men you see are any different?

tadpoles wrote - "I knew a woman who worked as a "high class call girl" once. She was stunning and quite intelligent and could have done loads of other things but she made more money doing that."

Prostitution might pay women lost of money but it is not the best paying job. Remember, men have got the best paid jobs, even in the sex industry.

What makes one man decide, say after a few months of no sex (possibly with good reasons), that he will seek out a prostitute and yet others ( I'm thinking of the male, semi-regular poster on here, who hasn't has so much as a cuddle from his wife in eight years) wouldn't dream of paying for sex or cheating?

Some men really do think they are entitled to sex, no matter what?

I can see why some women would rather their husband go to a prostitute than have an affair, they probably don't see sex as that important, whereas to me, infidelity is infidelity whatever the action, it wouldn't matter if it was a drunken ONS, a full blown affair or a visit to a whorehouse.

If my husband is not entirely devoted to me, body and soul, I don't want him, it's that simple.

I'm a bit that women visit female prostitutes!

Are you bi-sexual Manda?

One thing I can't get my head around is how you can have a normal sex life with your partner given the fact that you have sex with anyone who can afford it, basically.
Are there some things you won't do with customers so they are a special thing between you and your man? You don't have to elaborate, just a simple yay or nay will suffice.

I don't love my clients, so what I do with them will never be making love. That's enough for me.

Yes I'm bisexual.

The comparison I made between the sex industry and the slave trade was mainly to counter the idea that "its too big, nothing can be done about it". Even big, powerful things can be changed.

High class call girl?

A prostitute is a prostitute no matter what they look like etc

But the difference is the slaves wanted the slave trade to end. Many/most working girls do not want nor need to be rescued.

Of course you could apply that thinking to traffiking, where the girls are slaves. But not to the whole profession.

Vesuvia. There is a courtesan (her word, not mine) who is currently on an extended booking of a year with a client. That would have cost him 1 million pounds IIRC. I can't double check that because she takes most of her site offline when she has an extended booking like this, but I'm fairly sure of the amount. Figures like that tend to stay with you.

She won't be at his beck and call, she just won't see anyone else during the year and will see him a couple of times a week and accompany him on holidays and business trips.

"Well, hang on, though, why does a couple who are perfectly happy to have an open relationship have to "acknowledge that it's a marriage of convenience" except to the extent that it's convenient that they have similar compatible attitudes towards nonmonogamy?"

Well, I was talking in general about marriages where one person has a higher sex drive than another person. I have a deep suspicion of open relationships. I live in a country where they are rife. Nobody divorces. I find the entire set up very sad. BUt this is my personal bias.
I also think that open relationships are open to abuse. I've heard women say they were in an open relationship, even on MN, and it turns out it was only the man who was doing the shagging around, because one half of the couple didn'T feel like taking advantage of their freedom. I'm sure it happens the other way round too.

Anxiousland, Yes, we are prostitutes, but the other titles are bloody handy for defining the many different types of prostitute.

It's a bit like telling someone that head & shoulders is the same as Pantene because "They are all shampoos". Yes they are, but you need to differentiate between them.

A PROSTITUTE IS A PROSTITUTE

NO GETTING AWAY FROM IT

ARE YOU ASHAMED?

AL why so aggressive?

Of course there are distinctions. There are distinctions in almost every profession. An office worker for example could be an admin assistant/office manager/HR/filing clerk/data entry clerk. But there is no getting away from the fact that they are indeed office workers.

Mandamumu - "There is a courtesan (her word, not mine) who is currently on an extended booking of a year with a client. That would have cost him 1 million pounds

Courtesan ...

A million pounds is a lot. That's still small change for some in the sex industry.

By the way, I heard about a blue-chip company executive who took home 435 million last year.

BECAUSE SHE IS DAMAGED IN HER HEAD AND TRYING TO JUSTIFY HER 'JOB' WHEN THERE ARE NO EXCUSES OR BETTER WAYS OF DOING THE JOB OR DESCRIBING IT

MAKES ME PMSL

SHE IS SOO DAMGED SHE ACTUALLY BELEIVES SHE IS IN THE RIGHT

AnxiousLand you are coming across as a bit unhinged.

This is not the place for random hate and insult-hurling. Everyone else in this thread has managed to express their conflicting views respectfully and without being deliberately provocative as you are.

Maybe step away from the computer for a bit and come back when you're less...emotional and more ready to have a grown up discussion.

Anxiousland, why the utter hostility?

I don't agree with Manda's line of work, but I do agree with her right to do it of her own free will - given that she has been honest and open about her life and work it's clear that she isn't being coerced or harmed by it.

I couldn't do it, but I couldn't wipe old peoples' bums in a care home or clean in a hospital either.

I will admit I don't know how she and her partner live with the day to day knowledge of what she does, I'm strictly in the lifelong monogamy camp and so is my husband luckily, after 28 years I can't imagine having to have sex with another person, I couldn't do it - but she is obviously different and she doesn't go around actively looking for married men to fuck, unlike plenty of women who aren't prostitutes.

AL you are only one here coming across as damaged.