Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

errr no it isnt. I suggest you research the difference between a private and public transaction.

The difference between a public and private transaction is defined by the full public disclosure, there is no full public disclosure of a sex workers dealings.

And as for the feminist claiming that prostitution doesnt involve sex.. hahahahaha hahahahaha

I don't understand the ability of people to get worked up over what other people get up to in private.

it is because the self decscribed feminists in this thread wish to control what others do. Privacy is irrelevant to them... it is all about judging and controlling. No different to the males they critique.

I thought Hinge and Brackett turned up their toes long ago...

"Ah now, that high libido reason to go into prostitution is just ridiculous. (And that thing about Victorian women is probably a myth too. Enjoyable sex wasn't invented in 1966.)"

And why is that then? Some women have really high libido's where is the ridiculousness?

You cant just make a dismissive comment like that and not give a reason.

I have a friend ( we will call her b) and by the time we were 16 she had slept with 38 men, only the ones who's names she could recall. She loved sex, absolutely sex mad, she considered charging for something she loved doing. so does she not exist then, do me a favor don't think every woman is like you. People are all different, get off on different things.

I thought Hinge and Brackett turned up their toes long ago...

What do you mean?

AF

google it

I just did. Hence my question as I dont see the relevance. Unless you are just being immature.

When you consider sex as a collaborative performance rather than a commodity which women 'give' and men 'get' then the sex worker is analogous to the session musician (maybe the one playing on a record s/he thinks is not up to much).

SOC got it

Unless she is immature too

Made me laugh

"suggests (to me, at any rate) that you fear her attitude for all too obvious domestic reasons..."

Gosh, BarmyArmy, how very insightful you are

I've been following this thread and decided to post when it was suggested that men seek out sex elsewhere when they're not getting enough at home, precisely because of my 'domestic reasons...'

Excuse if I don't find your provocative little jibe particularly amusing. Having received a diagnosis of advanced breast cancer, mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and early menopause, in addition to facing an unknown future, surprisingly enough, sex isn't the top of the agenda right now.

I'm guessing that you'll allow that not all men are complete twats? That some of them can put the needs of their balls second the the needs of their family? In which case I have nothing to fear, not on that front anyway.

wubbly

I am so sorry your health is such a worry x

bugger, my pc is playing up and posted too soon

wubbly, hope you get this before I get booted off again

not all men are twats and I bet your man is not

all the very best for your treatment x

Re Victorian sex, Victoria herself was very keen, so much so that she apparently had her and Albert's bedroom soundproofed...

Cheers AF. Probably too much info really, sorry, but that little jibe really pissed me off.

SGB said:
"When you consider sex as a collaborative performance rather than a commodity which women 'give' and men 'get' then the sex worker is analogous to the session musician (maybe the one playing on a record s/he thinks is not up to much)."

They should write that into the marriage vows:

Here we go:

Vicar:
'Do you, Mrs Trumpet, accept Mr trombone to be your collaborative sex partner as long as you both have puff in you?

Mrs Trumpet
'Probably not. Can't tell yet.'

Vicar:
'And do you, Mr Trombone, accept Mrs Trumpet to be your lawful wedded blow job?'?'

Mr trombone/SGB: 'Don't be too fast there vicar-mate. I fancy giving the bassoonist one actually. If Mrs Trumpet can't give me enough collaborative sex I am pretty sure a chap with an instrument the size of THAT will'

Vicar:
"Sir, you are wise beyond the length of your collaborative dick. What's with all this promising and vows shite anyway?

(removes dog collar)

I declare these proceedings null and void.

'All head for the canapes.'

And then a boy child was born.
Conceived that night among the mayhem of canapes, trombones and bassoons.

And nobody gave a fuck about the little boy in their rush to have collaborative sex and lots of it as that is a basic need. Like breathing.

Amen

mathanxiety - I find your posts rather stalker-ish. A little bit creepy to be honest. Are you seriously going to start noting all my posts date and time and then posting about that (this is not the first time you ahve done it recently)? You think that is normal behaviour? mmmmm

How did you know they were all yours? Mmmmm. You must have gone back and checked.
Paranoia. Are you really that creeped out?

GGGRRRAAAAAAHHH as my toddler would say.
Hope that has put the shits up you.

He was being a lion.

It isnt the first time she has done it.. and she made it clear the first time. She seems ot be making a habit of it on various threads.

So I didnt need to go back and check.

You'd all better be careful or Footlong might threaten to ignore you like he does me

"And the thing I still don't get (and which no one has offered any kind of explanation for) is why people with low libidos mind so much when their partners with higher libidos want to have sex elsewhere. If you don't want to do something with your partner why do you think they should be prohibited from doing it with someone else?"

SGB
I've made no secret on MN of the fact that I have a higher libido than my DH. I married the safe guy, the homebody. It was the right decision WRT raising a family BUT I could quite happily have a few one night stands. I'm going on holiday abroad without him in a few weeks, I could easily shag someone then.
But I won't. NOt because I'm morally superior but because he would be devastated if he found out. And the reason he's so keen and happy for me to go off travelling by myself is because he trusts that I won't do that. And I trust him in our house for the 2 weeks I'll be away.

And besides that, sex is NOT as important than eating, or breathing, or your obligation not to drive a tank through the lives of the people closest to you.

I don't know if DH will make it "till death do us part" but while I am married to him I have the integrity to treat him as I would like to be treated myself.

If I found out tomorrow he'd been visiting a prostitute it would be over...And if he found out I'D had sex on the side, I'D expect the same from him.
Open relationships are rife in Japan, nobody divorces, I find the situation very sad and perfunctory and the concept smacks of a marriage of convenience

How can we be sure that the frigid Victorian wife notion isn't the creation of someone or of a whole society with a raging madonna/whore complex

well exactly, mathanxiety. It's really obviously created by men. It's the male fantasy of their libido being higher than women's, when the reality is women can have much more sex than them, because their bodies are designed to have more sex than men. So the frigid VIctorian woman was the product of patriarchy, and continues to be today. True, some married women might not want to have sex with their husband very often, but that says as much about him as it says about her.

what I mean by "frigid Victorian woman" is not that they were actually frigid, but that their chauvinist husbands were inept in bed, and there were fierce punishments for female adulteresses. It's highly documented in literature.