Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

who are these fucking loons ?

< shuffles off >

Oh dear again.

"Now why don't you engage with what is actually being discussed instead of talking shite about how women have done nasty things to you in sex."

That's not what I said. That's very different to what I said.

Dittany - let's just agree not to be friends.

Night night
x

I think "bleeughh" sums it up better

or bollocks

watchingrain I'm sorry, I can'T take you seriously after you said sex was on the same level as eating and breathing

If a woman is having sex because she needs the money to pay her rent or to eat, that's coerced sex.

Good grief.... you spout a serious amount of steaming horse manure.

Although it is interesting watching some posters completely twist what others say.... and then have a bitter rant all about it.

FOotlong, you are ridiculous.
Have you ever heard of the feminization of poverty, for example? Have you every sold your arse for money? If not, then lucky you. It's another one of your "too privileged to realise he's privileged moments"

MrsJ -- I agree 100% with your insight into the real attraction of prostitutes for a lot of men. And the misogyny that is the foundation of the behaviour.

Sakura,

Defenders of prostitution get hung up on this idea that as long as both parties consent, there are no negative moral ramifications. E.g "It's my choice, so nyah, nyah."

I'm still trying (and failing) to get my head around the idea that a prostitute doesn't 'harm' the client's partner. OK, I daresay that her moral culpability wouldn't be high if she was a sex slave in Cambodia. A lot less than if she were a highly-paid escort. Either way, however, prostitution gets shown up in a pretty poor light if you ask me.

Footlong,

What don't you understand?

Seems like quite an obvious point to me.

I find this all very difficult reading yet also, the stance of the western working girls is really amusing.

I think 'men' use prostitutes because they don't like women.

They don't like their own mothers, they don't like their wives and they don't like their girlfriends.

They don't like their children either.
And they certianly don't like their prostitutes - but they do like the delicious fucking-action they provide.

These men I think like themselves. And themselves above all else. And their penises.

They like sex. They get off on sex. Ordinary decent life is too mundane for these men.

They play-act at being decent men - because they know if they went honest-joe about their proclivities, they would be shunned. They wouldn't get jobs. They would have to keep moving around the country/the world (many do just that because they do get found out)

They like the 'family life' image but they like sticking their dicks in random women too. They just cross their hearts and hope to die that nobody finds out. And the o0nes that share the experience on stag nights etc - having seen quite a lot of these men go at it in a gang mentality, well, when they meet someone and want to settle down, they shun their old fucker mates.

And their marriages break down eventually.

Because they don't like women at the end of the day.

Using WGs makes them feel big. Horny. Clever. Real.

Pass the popcorn. Something interesting is on the test card.

and no I am not saying sex is not 'decent.'

Rather, that ordinary life for these men - quick hot lovely shag on a saturday morning, going to Tesco, putting petrol in the car, a nice pub lunch, taking your child swimming, having a barbecue for mates, a row with the partner, a delivery curry, a shit day at work, another shit day at work, treading in dog poo, a minor shunt on a B road, buying a fantastic real christmas tree and decorating it with your wife and kids, making a lasagne,
laughing, singing in the shower, doing a bit of weeding, getting an allotment, saving for a holiday for your family....

just doesn't DO it for these men.

They like to fuck.

End of.

The rest - above - is just too boring for these demi-gods with penises to use.

What about disgusting, evil, vile men who beat up their wives and then visit dominatrix prostitutes to punish them for being 'bad'?

What should the prostitute do in this situation?

Presumably, the domestic violence situation lessens the focus on unfaithfulness but what about the ethical responsibility to protect other women when we know, or suspect, abuse.

It's tricky as if she refuses to co-operate, the wife may be in for more suffering, but if she does co-operate, will he only up the stakes next time?
She could call the police, but she may not have his personal details.

What is the right thing to do in this situation?

Sasamaxx: a sex worker in this position (of knowing or suspecting that a woman is being abused by her partner) is no more able to do anything to help the woman than any friends or relatives of a woman in an abusive relationship. You can't report someone to the police for DV on hearsay evidence, particularly if you don't have their address or last name or the name of the victim.

Though TBH the dynamic you are describing sounds pretty unusual. Most men who beat their wives are not doing so in order to get some deferred sexual gratification at the hands of another women, and most of the men who want to pay a dominatrix are not abusive to women (the professional dominatrix is a distinct category of sex worker, some don't consider themselves sex workers at all as they don't fuck their clients etc).

Yes SolidGold but he has admitted to her that this has happened, and may have even provided a photo to prove it. Does this make her a witness of some kind? Yes, she may not know who he is, but on the occasion that she does, what then?

I'm aware this is unusual but perhaps not as unusual as you think. Yes - MOST men using dominatrix prostitutes are not abusing women, but some most definitely are. I am not speaking hypothetically here incidentally.

Maybe blame the dickhead you married and next try blaming yourself for marrying a twat in the first place.

That was in response to the OP's first post

Whole lot of misandry going on here.

no, papa

no misandry from me

Dittany - you are hilarious.

Why a wanker's word?

Sasamaxx: I don't think it makes the dominatrix legally culpable, or an accessory after the fact. And if she did contact the police, they might well decline to investigate on the grounds that it was hearsay only. It might also expose her to police harassment.
I think if I were in her position I would tell the client that I didn't want to see him again as I didn't need a woman-hating arsehole as a client, and I would suggest he sort himself out before his wife does get the strength to press charges.